Fic: The Way to a Man's Heart
The first clue Sam had that a certain Trickster/Angel was back was the truly outrageous amount of pie that suddenly showed up in their motel room. Seriously, there was pie on the nightstand, pie in the sink, little walkways winding among pie on the floor, and even a cherry pie balanced on top of the tv. He stood flabbergasted in the doorway, tired and aching from the ghost that had thrown him against the wall five times before Dean had managed to shoot the damn thing. He tried to say something but all he could manage was "buh?". Dean, on the other hand, was grinning fit to burst his face. He slapped Sam on the shoulder and made a beeline for his bed (pretty much the only surface not covered in baked goods, Sam's bed, of course, was filled with what looked like chocolate mousse pie).
"See, Sam? This is what Heaven should have looked like!" He dropped his duffel bag on the bed and dug out a fork. Sam ran across the room (squashing pies left and right, and that’s just great, now his boots are covered in pastry) and slapped the fork out of his brother’s hand. “Dean, no! What if it’s poisoned or something? Think about it man, hundreds of pies don’t just appear out of nowhere!” And now Dean was trying to give Sam hurt puppy dog eyes, but whatever, they both knew that that was Sam’s thing.
“Actually, Sam, sometimes they do.” Sam twirled around to see Gabriel standing right behind them, the usual smug look firmly in place. “You like them? Think of it as my first contribution to your little Save Humanity Party thing you guys got going.” Pies forgotten, Dean stood and fixed Gabriel with a suspicious stare.
“I thought you were all gung-ho for Sam and me to say yes to those douche bags? What changed your mind?” The smirk faded from Gabriel’s face.
“Listen, I still love my brothers, I still think that you’ve got a snowball’s chance in Luci’s pad of stopping the Apocalypse, and I still think that nothing short of Dad’s direct interference (and maybe not even that) will convince my brothers to stop fighting, but the thing is, as long as I’ve spent trying not to get involved, it’s time that I picked a side. And c’mon, of course I’m going with the people responsible for creating Hershey’s Bars bigger than my torso.” It took several hours for the former Trickster to convince Sam and Dean (mostly Dean, Sam had been secretly hoping that the only Archangel that wasn’t actively fighting against them to switch to their side, because hello? Giant advantage right there) that this wasn’t some sort of trick to get them to say yes. By the time Cas had arrived, Dean was working his way through his second pie (“I can’t just let these go to waste, Sam! Someone has to do the right thing here and clean them up before the poor maid finds them when we check out.”), Gabriel was on his seventh pie of the evening and Sam was huddled in the corner away from the pie orgy, looking their newest ally up on Wikipedia. Gabriel launched into his speech about why he decided to help them out, but had barely begun before Cas (who had been staring intensely into Gabriel’s eyes in a way that made Sam slightly uncomfortable) reached out and drew him into a bone-crushing hug.
“It has been too long, brother.” Gabriel looked slightly nonplussed as he awkwardly patted the other angel on the shoulder.
“Yeah, well, I suppose it has.” The touching moment was cut short, however, by Dean displaying his normal lack of sensitivity by loudly mumbling through a full mouth “And the bastard brought pie, Cas! And the cherry is almost good enough to make for that prick killing me several thousand times.”
Over the next several months, a new system started to form. Sam and Cas were usually in charge of the researching aspect of their hunts, while Dean dragged Gabriel along with him to do the leg work, ostensibly because Dean felt the need to “keep an eye on that arrogant dick”, but Sam suspected it had something to do with the fact that whenever Gabriel got bored, candy was sure to follow. Although, Gabriel only seemed to get bored whenever Dean was around. In fact, Sam started to notice that whenever Dean got all wound up over whatever new monster they were hunting this week or their failure to find a way of stopping the Apocalypse, Gabriel would quietly snap his fingers and distract Dean with obscene amounts of junk food until he calmed down. While Sam was glad that Dean wasn't quite so angry after Gabriel's interventions, it did mean that Sam and Castiel were treated to Dean's ridiculous, almost porn star-esque noises as he ate and Gabriel grinning at Dean like he was a particularly cute but ill-trained puppy. This usually ended with Sam huffing disgustedly into his laptop while Cas shot him several long-suffering looks until they decided to go to the library for some peace and quiet while they researched.
Life continued in this vein as weeks went by without any important breakthrough in the Apocalypse scenario until one morning over breakfast, Sam happened to glance over at Gabriel. The angel was giving Dean (who was eating more amounts of waffles with chocolate syrup then Sam thought humanly possible) another one of his smug looks, and all of sudden Sam realized that the look didn't so much say 'look at the silly puppy, isn't he cute' as it did 'I want to tie you to my bed and do unspeakable things to you with my tongue while you beg me to let you come', which was an awful lot to pack into one look and holy shit, Sam just may be scarred for life now. He almost choked to death on his salad, waving Cas off who was hovering around him with a concerned look on his face before finally managing to draw a breath. Sam carefully avoided looking at either his brother (who was still making sweet love to his waffles) or at Gabriel (who was sniggering to himself in a very unbecoming manner) as he hurried off to the bathroom. He needed some time to figure out what he was going to do next-currently it was a tie between laughing hysterically every time he saw Dean and threatening Gabriel with a Holy Oil enema if he hurt his brother, although the option of crawling under his covers and trying desperately to forget everything he just saw while silently weeping was becoming more and more attractive.
Eventually, Sam decided on a fourth option-confronting Gabriel on what his intentions regarding Dean were. The problem was finding the time to do so. Lately, Dean and Gabriel had been spending a lot of time together, bonding over their sweet tooths and love of corny jokes. When Gabriel wasn't with Dean, he was either off doing recon missions with Castiel or doing investigations on his own into the whole Apocalypse thing (which Sam had almost forgotten, since being faced with the possibility that his brother and the Trickster that had made Sam's life absolute hell at the Mystery Spot just might be doing the horizontal tango in the backseat of the Impala for all Sam knew).
Finally, Sam's chance appeared. Dean was showing Cas how to wash the Impala properly, while Cas was insisting that he could just angel mojo the car clean, much to Dean's dismay. Gabriel was lounging against the motel door (and surely that pose couldn't be good for his posture, he looked like a self-important alley cat that just got laid, for crying out loud) and sucking away on a lollipop while he watched Cas offer use of his trenchcoat to dry the Impala as Dean shrieked about not letting that dirty rag be used to dry his baby. Sam sidled up to Gabriel, who gave him a small nod without taking his eyes off the ensuing drama. Ok, here's your chance, Sam told himself, just play this cool and try to be smooth about this, no matter how uncomfortable you are bringing this subject up.
"Gabriel, are you attempting to woo my brother into your bed through the use of baked goods?" Ok, that came out a little more prissy and appalled then Sam had planned, but at least it was out in the open. Gabriel just winked at him, the little prick. This was not a flippant matter! Sam gave the smarmy angel his best intimidating if-you-play-with-Dean-there-will-be-a-world-of-pain glare, but he was afraid that it might just have come across as constipated. Gabriel sighed and averted his eyes.
"Let's say I am. That a problem for you?" He looked up at Sam, who was still glaring, and hastened to add "If you're worried that this is just a prank or something, well, it's.......it's not. Dean is......I wouldn't do that to him, ok? And it's not some one night stand thing, either." Gabriel looked as if it had physically pained him to say all that, and yeah, him and Dean were just perfect for each other when it came to talking about their feelings. Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Just......just please make sure that whatever happens, I never see any of it, ok? And try not to do anything in front of Cas either, I don't want to think about how awkward that would be." Gabriel's smirk was back in full force now, and Sam could feel a migraine coming on.
"I'll do my best, Sammy boy, but what can I say? Love knows no boundaries, ya know. Our passion may be too great to contain. Thanks for the permission to 'woo' your blushing brother, by the way." Sam groaned. This was not going to end well, he could tell. He looked over at the disastrous scene unfolding over by the Impala.
"Hey, Cas! I think that, um, there's a lead we should research about, um, a mystical necklace that kills all who wear it over in Michigan. We should go check it out on my laptop." Cas nodded and calmly began to walk over to the motel. Before he got to Sam, who did not in any world want to be a witness to whatever Gabriel had planned in that devious little mind of his, Gabriel leaned in and whispered his own bit of advice.
"Just so you know, Sammy, you're not the only one looking out for his brother. Cas has yet to master the art of the subtle seduction, so you might wanna step it up a bit. I suggest duct tape, works wonders." He sauntered off towards the Impala, pie already in hand while Sam gaped in astonishment. Cas reached the door and tilted his head in confusion.
"Is something wrong, Sam?" Sam hastily shut his mouth.
"No, no, nothing's wrong Cas. Let's just get inside and start researching, shall we? Right now would be best."
Once they were safely inside, Sam made the mistake of looking out the window while he waited for his laptop to boot up. Gabriel had Dean pinned up against the hood of the Impala, and he was practically attacking Dean's mouth while his hands writhed under Dean's shirt like a horny octopus. Dean's moans of encouragement drifted through the open window, which Sam leapt out of his chair to slam shut before smiling weakly at Castiel, who thankfully didn't seem to have heard anything. Sam slid back into his chair as he tried to muffle a weary sigh. This was all going to end in hours, years more of therapy time needed. Thanks a lot, Gabriel, he angrily muttered inside his head. Although..........
Duct tape, huh? Maybe the archangel had a few good ideas.
"See, Sam? This is what Heaven should have looked like!" He dropped his duffel bag on the bed and dug out a fork. Sam ran across the room (squashing pies left and right, and that’s just great, now his boots are covered in pastry) and slapped the fork out of his brother’s hand. “Dean, no! What if it’s poisoned or something? Think about it man, hundreds of pies don’t just appear out of nowhere!” And now Dean was trying to give Sam hurt puppy dog eyes, but whatever, they both knew that that was Sam’s thing.
“Actually, Sam, sometimes they do.” Sam twirled around to see Gabriel standing right behind them, the usual smug look firmly in place. “You like them? Think of it as my first contribution to your little Save Humanity Party thing you guys got going.” Pies forgotten, Dean stood and fixed Gabriel with a suspicious stare.
“I thought you were all gung-ho for Sam and me to say yes to those douche bags? What changed your mind?” The smirk faded from Gabriel’s face.
“Listen, I still love my brothers, I still think that you’ve got a snowball’s chance in Luci’s pad of stopping the Apocalypse, and I still think that nothing short of Dad’s direct interference (and maybe not even that) will convince my brothers to stop fighting, but the thing is, as long as I’ve spent trying not to get involved, it’s time that I picked a side. And c’mon, of course I’m going with the people responsible for creating Hershey’s Bars bigger than my torso.” It took several hours for the former Trickster to convince Sam and Dean (mostly Dean, Sam had been secretly hoping that the only Archangel that wasn’t actively fighting against them to switch to their side, because hello? Giant advantage right there) that this wasn’t some sort of trick to get them to say yes. By the time Cas had arrived, Dean was working his way through his second pie (“I can’t just let these go to waste, Sam! Someone has to do the right thing here and clean them up before the poor maid finds them when we check out.”), Gabriel was on his seventh pie of the evening and Sam was huddled in the corner away from the pie orgy, looking their newest ally up on Wikipedia. Gabriel launched into his speech about why he decided to help them out, but had barely begun before Cas (who had been staring intensely into Gabriel’s eyes in a way that made Sam slightly uncomfortable) reached out and drew him into a bone-crushing hug.
“It has been too long, brother.” Gabriel looked slightly nonplussed as he awkwardly patted the other angel on the shoulder.
“Yeah, well, I suppose it has.” The touching moment was cut short, however, by Dean displaying his normal lack of sensitivity by loudly mumbling through a full mouth “And the bastard brought pie, Cas! And the cherry is almost good enough to make for that prick killing me several thousand times.”
Over the next several months, a new system started to form. Sam and Cas were usually in charge of the researching aspect of their hunts, while Dean dragged Gabriel along with him to do the leg work, ostensibly because Dean felt the need to “keep an eye on that arrogant dick”, but Sam suspected it had something to do with the fact that whenever Gabriel got bored, candy was sure to follow. Although, Gabriel only seemed to get bored whenever Dean was around. In fact, Sam started to notice that whenever Dean got all wound up over whatever new monster they were hunting this week or their failure to find a way of stopping the Apocalypse, Gabriel would quietly snap his fingers and distract Dean with obscene amounts of junk food until he calmed down. While Sam was glad that Dean wasn't quite so angry after Gabriel's interventions, it did mean that Sam and Castiel were treated to Dean's ridiculous, almost porn star-esque noises as he ate and Gabriel grinning at Dean like he was a particularly cute but ill-trained puppy. This usually ended with Sam huffing disgustedly into his laptop while Cas shot him several long-suffering looks until they decided to go to the library for some peace and quiet while they researched.
Life continued in this vein as weeks went by without any important breakthrough in the Apocalypse scenario until one morning over breakfast, Sam happened to glance over at Gabriel. The angel was giving Dean (who was eating more amounts of waffles with chocolate syrup then Sam thought humanly possible) another one of his smug looks, and all of sudden Sam realized that the look didn't so much say 'look at the silly puppy, isn't he cute' as it did 'I want to tie you to my bed and do unspeakable things to you with my tongue while you beg me to let you come', which was an awful lot to pack into one look and holy shit, Sam just may be scarred for life now. He almost choked to death on his salad, waving Cas off who was hovering around him with a concerned look on his face before finally managing to draw a breath. Sam carefully avoided looking at either his brother (who was still making sweet love to his waffles) or at Gabriel (who was sniggering to himself in a very unbecoming manner) as he hurried off to the bathroom. He needed some time to figure out what he was going to do next-currently it was a tie between laughing hysterically every time he saw Dean and threatening Gabriel with a Holy Oil enema if he hurt his brother, although the option of crawling under his covers and trying desperately to forget everything he just saw while silently weeping was becoming more and more attractive.
Eventually, Sam decided on a fourth option-confronting Gabriel on what his intentions regarding Dean were. The problem was finding the time to do so. Lately, Dean and Gabriel had been spending a lot of time together, bonding over their sweet tooths and love of corny jokes. When Gabriel wasn't with Dean, he was either off doing recon missions with Castiel or doing investigations on his own into the whole Apocalypse thing (which Sam had almost forgotten, since being faced with the possibility that his brother and the Trickster that had made Sam's life absolute hell at the Mystery Spot just might be doing the horizontal tango in the backseat of the Impala for all Sam knew).
Finally, Sam's chance appeared. Dean was showing Cas how to wash the Impala properly, while Cas was insisting that he could just angel mojo the car clean, much to Dean's dismay. Gabriel was lounging against the motel door (and surely that pose couldn't be good for his posture, he looked like a self-important alley cat that just got laid, for crying out loud) and sucking away on a lollipop while he watched Cas offer use of his trenchcoat to dry the Impala as Dean shrieked about not letting that dirty rag be used to dry his baby. Sam sidled up to Gabriel, who gave him a small nod without taking his eyes off the ensuing drama. Ok, here's your chance, Sam told himself, just play this cool and try to be smooth about this, no matter how uncomfortable you are bringing this subject up.
"Gabriel, are you attempting to woo my brother into your bed through the use of baked goods?" Ok, that came out a little more prissy and appalled then Sam had planned, but at least it was out in the open. Gabriel just winked at him, the little prick. This was not a flippant matter! Sam gave the smarmy angel his best intimidating if-you-play-with-Dean-there-will-be-a-world-of-pain glare, but he was afraid that it might just have come across as constipated. Gabriel sighed and averted his eyes.
"Let's say I am. That a problem for you?" He looked up at Sam, who was still glaring, and hastened to add "If you're worried that this is just a prank or something, well, it's.......it's not. Dean is......I wouldn't do that to him, ok? And it's not some one night stand thing, either." Gabriel looked as if it had physically pained him to say all that, and yeah, him and Dean were just perfect for each other when it came to talking about their feelings. Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Just......just please make sure that whatever happens, I never see any of it, ok? And try not to do anything in front of Cas either, I don't want to think about how awkward that would be." Gabriel's smirk was back in full force now, and Sam could feel a migraine coming on.
"I'll do my best, Sammy boy, but what can I say? Love knows no boundaries, ya know. Our passion may be too great to contain. Thanks for the permission to 'woo' your blushing brother, by the way." Sam groaned. This was not going to end well, he could tell. He looked over at the disastrous scene unfolding over by the Impala.
"Hey, Cas! I think that, um, there's a lead we should research about, um, a mystical necklace that kills all who wear it over in Michigan. We should go check it out on my laptop." Cas nodded and calmly began to walk over to the motel. Before he got to Sam, who did not in any world want to be a witness to whatever Gabriel had planned in that devious little mind of his, Gabriel leaned in and whispered his own bit of advice.
"Just so you know, Sammy, you're not the only one looking out for his brother. Cas has yet to master the art of the subtle seduction, so you might wanna step it up a bit. I suggest duct tape, works wonders." He sauntered off towards the Impala, pie already in hand while Sam gaped in astonishment. Cas reached the door and tilted his head in confusion.
"Is something wrong, Sam?" Sam hastily shut his mouth.
"No, no, nothing's wrong Cas. Let's just get inside and start researching, shall we? Right now would be best."
Once they were safely inside, Sam made the mistake of looking out the window while he waited for his laptop to boot up. Gabriel had Dean pinned up against the hood of the Impala, and he was practically attacking Dean's mouth while his hands writhed under Dean's shirt like a horny octopus. Dean's moans of encouragement drifted through the open window, which Sam leapt out of his chair to slam shut before smiling weakly at Castiel, who thankfully didn't seem to have heard anything. Sam slid back into his chair as he tried to muffle a weary sigh. This was all going to end in hours, years more of therapy time needed. Thanks a lot, Gabriel, he angrily muttered inside his head. Although..........
Duct tape, huh? Maybe the archangel had a few good ideas.