too much
too much to think about. brain is mush. hala is pregnant. savanna told kate. i told her not to. so did becky. thats just it. i can't trust her anymore. i think that i can even talk to her. i didn't pick up when she called. i was afraid that i would explode.
alyssya was sick so i had to be the instrustor. they weren't listening and i was the one getting shit because of it and i hate it. it isn't my fault that claudette doesn't like the fact that i told them to shut up when they mouthed off because they didn't want to be there. i did what i could and i am not taking shit for it. but i was so pissed about everything that during lunch i went into the corner in the pit room and as it turns out i have no control over my crying reflex.
so the first person to come in was james. he tried to get me to smile which didn't work and then dan walked in and asked what was wrong and james turns around and goes "shes upset because your an asshole." but that really had nothing to do with it and dan believed it anyway until i told him that james was just trying to make me happy. so then beth walks in and runs up to me and says "oh no sarah whats wrong tell me tell me tell me" and so i tell her and tom walks up and sits down. so heather runs in and goes "nooo nooo noo noo noo sarah is not going to be unhappy now" so james gets up and leaves then beth goes to talk to some one and heather and tom stay. then beth comes back and heather and beth and james leaves. so then beth and heather come back and mackenzie tackles beth and steals her shoe and she goes off. then james comes back and puts his arms around me and says "now you be happy cause you have to go back in there and i don't like seeing a sad sarah making a guard spin a flag." so heather and tom leave and everyone was back so alicia goes "trader, gay kid its time to get out" and we get up to leave and james stops and i say "come on gay kid we're no longer wanted here." so he moves and alicia sees me and says "sarah are you okay?" and i just shook my head and followed james out of the room.
at the end of practice i hug james and he leaves i get the horns on the truck and i turn around. alicia is standing there and says "sarah now i have you come talk to me." so i walk up to her and she asks "i know that you were crying so whats going on?" and i say "well theres just a lot of shit that i had to take today and theres other shit going on with my friends..." and she looks at me and says "i know this was hard for you and when it comes to your friends you have to think about this. what do you do when the people who are supposed to make you happy are the ones who make you cry?" and i said "idk i just have to figure that one out now don't i."
ardhdjdflfjskldfjs
frustration
sarah
alyssya was sick so i had to be the instrustor. they weren't listening and i was the one getting shit because of it and i hate it. it isn't my fault that claudette doesn't like the fact that i told them to shut up when they mouthed off because they didn't want to be there. i did what i could and i am not taking shit for it. but i was so pissed about everything that during lunch i went into the corner in the pit room and as it turns out i have no control over my crying reflex.
so the first person to come in was james. he tried to get me to smile which didn't work and then dan walked in and asked what was wrong and james turns around and goes "shes upset because your an asshole." but that really had nothing to do with it and dan believed it anyway until i told him that james was just trying to make me happy. so then beth walks in and runs up to me and says "oh no sarah whats wrong tell me tell me tell me" and so i tell her and tom walks up and sits down. so heather runs in and goes "nooo nooo noo noo noo sarah is not going to be unhappy now" so james gets up and leaves then beth goes to talk to some one and heather and tom stay. then beth comes back and heather and beth and james leaves. so then beth and heather come back and mackenzie tackles beth and steals her shoe and she goes off. then james comes back and puts his arms around me and says "now you be happy cause you have to go back in there and i don't like seeing a sad sarah making a guard spin a flag." so heather and tom leave and everyone was back so alicia goes "trader, gay kid its time to get out" and we get up to leave and james stops and i say "come on gay kid we're no longer wanted here." so he moves and alicia sees me and says "sarah are you okay?" and i just shook my head and followed james out of the room.
at the end of practice i hug james and he leaves i get the horns on the truck and i turn around. alicia is standing there and says "sarah now i have you come talk to me." so i walk up to her and she asks "i know that you were crying so whats going on?" and i say "well theres just a lot of shit that i had to take today and theres other shit going on with my friends..." and she looks at me and says "i know this was hard for you and when it comes to your friends you have to think about this. what do you do when the people who are supposed to make you happy are the ones who make you cry?" and i said "idk i just have to figure that one out now don't i."
ardhdjdflfjskldfjs
frustration
sarah