life is hard
Strange that it is friday. it feels like some other day of the week. I am not sure which but some other day. Not to mention i cant believe i havent even been back a week yet. It feels more like weeks.
Today getting out of bed was hard. The rest of the week it has been ever so easy to spring from my bed after only 4 to 6 short hours of sleep. Well i think the lack of sleep is catching up with me today. I cant seem to keep from going into zombie space.
There is an odd sense of impending doom in the back of my head. A little voice telling me i am not going to make it. That it will fail. It makes my insides uneasy. Makes me shift in my seat. I need to be further down the road with things going ok. Getting back on your feet is the hard part.
When i look at all the things i need to do in order to make my plans work. I feel like the amount of things i want and need keep piling up and i dont have the means to get them. I keep falling further into a place of debt. If i could stop the needs and the wants and catch up. I am comming back from a negative place. zero is hard enough but negative??? I wont be rid of bad clouds for many years i fear and all i want to do is start over with so many things.
Is it possible to feel like you are moving incredibly fast and incredibly slow at the same time? But not staying in place, and still moving forward? I am not stuck i am just going in two different directions at once. It confuses the soul.
Today getting out of bed was hard. The rest of the week it has been ever so easy to spring from my bed after only 4 to 6 short hours of sleep. Well i think the lack of sleep is catching up with me today. I cant seem to keep from going into zombie space.
There is an odd sense of impending doom in the back of my head. A little voice telling me i am not going to make it. That it will fail. It makes my insides uneasy. Makes me shift in my seat. I need to be further down the road with things going ok. Getting back on your feet is the hard part.
When i look at all the things i need to do in order to make my plans work. I feel like the amount of things i want and need keep piling up and i dont have the means to get them. I keep falling further into a place of debt. If i could stop the needs and the wants and catch up. I am comming back from a negative place. zero is hard enough but negative??? I wont be rid of bad clouds for many years i fear and all i want to do is start over with so many things.
Is it possible to feel like you are moving incredibly fast and incredibly slow at the same time? But not staying in place, and still moving forward? I am not stuck i am just going in two different directions at once. It confuses the soul.