Movie Nights - Glee Style
Written for my wenches. You know who you are.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, Sherlock Holmes, nor anything affiliated with them. I'm lucky to own a damn computer, and I'm sure as hell not making any profit off of this.
Warning: Some Rachel-bashing.
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Mr. Shuester flipped the lights back on as the ending credits started to roll. As if that were a cue, the members of the Glee Club went from silence to chaos, loudly discussing the movie they'd just watched and cleaning up the mess from the popcorn fight that had occurred midway though.
"Oh, that was soooo awesome!" Santana squealed, seeming to forgo her usual aura of better-than-thou, "I would so, so sext with Robert Downey, Jr!"
There was a general female chorus of agreement from the girls, before Rachel Berry, sitting by her crush/boyfriend of the week, Puck, opened her big mouth.
"Well, I don't know about you, but that was the gayest movie since Brokeback mountain."
"Rachel-" Mr. Shue started
"Oh, trust me, Mr. Shuester," she interrupted, once again oblivious to how obnoxious she sounded, "I've got two gay dads. I have no problem with gay, lesbian, bisexual or trangender people-"
There was a slight cough from Kurt, who was sitting on the other side of Puck.
"-but trust me when I say that Sherlock Holmes and Watson? Very gay. Did you *see* they way they looked at each other? And the flirting?"
Finn shrugged, "They were kind of obvious, I guess?"
Quinn glared and hissed, "Must you agree with everything that comes out of Berry's mouth?"
Mercedes glared, hands on her hips, "Maybe you're just looking for it, Rachel. Ever think that maybe they're just friends? Why you gotta go looking for shit?"
"Besides," Other Asian pointed out, making a rare appearance into everyone's consciousness, "Watson's getting married to that girl. And that Adler chick! She's hot!"
Rachel rolled her eyes, but jumped on the chance to make herself the center of attention, "Oh, puh-LEASE, Mary and Irene Adler were CLEARLY blinds set up to make the ENTIRE movie more acceptable to the mainstream audience. ANYBODY who bothers to pay ANY attention could see that BOTH women are simply red herrings to take the attention off of the blatantly homosexual relationship, and if the women themselves can't see their part in that, they're simply idiots. Holmes and Watson should have enough love for each other to stop hiding things for the sake of appearing normal."
The remaining of the Glee club turned, as one, to look at Kurt and Puck, who were staring at Rachel with matching looks of amused condescension.
"You know, Berry," Puck smirked, "That's the smartest thing you've ever said since I met you." And with no further ado, he turned around, grabbed Kurt and kissed him ravenously.
Rachel stared, speechless, for a good ten seconds amidst the clamor and squeals of their audience, then grabbed Puck's shoulder, pulling them apart. "WHAT??? KURT?!? YOU'RE dumping ME for KURT??? WHY?!?!?"
Kurt reached over and removed Rachel's hand, then gave her a once over with that icy, prissy glare, before smirking, and replying in that condescending oh-so-better-than-you voice, "It's elementary, my dear Rachel."
Mr. Shuester had a hell of a time keeping Puck off of Kurt the rest of the night.
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