Thanks for the gifts, LJ! ^_^
I made three new icons for my journal now that LJ has given me three new spaces to play with. I'd like the idea of having a membership, but... it's just too expensive.
I sent two more gifts away. One for Heather and David, and the other for Brenda. Now I just gotta send a little something to Brian and my Christmas shopping will be all done. ^_^
Christmas will be here in a week or so, but things don't... I dunno, have that feeling of Christmas that I'm used to. Maybe it's because its not as hot as I remembered all my other Christmasses to be. It is incredibly hot, but compared to the past seven years or so, its remarkably cool. I wonder what gives?
There was a weird splatter on my pale blue wall today, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what caused it... until I realised it was there because Sabre has begun to sneeze blood. Poor kitty, he's hurting so much and I can't do anything to allieviate the pain, short of killing him. But... I don't want to kill him... I know I should, but I don't want to have to be the one to decide that. I want my parents to, but knowing them they just put it off until he'd suffer the more painful kind of death. I just want him to feel no pain anymore, but I also don't want to have his death on my hands. I'm running away from my responsibility to make this decision, and its a childish thing to do. But I don't feel right deciding life or death on a living creature that can't answer for itself. ^^;
His poor little nose looks terrible, almost like its been burnt off. But I bet the cancer that is inside his head is far worse. He's going to end up asphixiating if he doesn't get put down.
And Sabre's the best, smartest, dearest cat in the whole world. I don't wanna lose him.
Oh well, just needed to vent that.
It's been a few weeks since I said goodbye to Matty at the airport. I talk to him just about everyday, anyhow, but I still miss him nevertheless. I guess talking to him on the net and being around him in person are two vastly different things. I haven't stopped pining yet, and I don't thing I will for a long time, though I do envy my younger sister for being able to see her boyfriend whenever she has the vaguest whim. Some people just have things easier. Well, I'm not bitter about it, I think. ^_^
But I can never be certain of what my own mind is trying to say to me. Knowing stuff can go against people sometimes, I reckon. I've looked at the mind a lot, so I probably analyze myself too deeply, when a simple answer is probably the best one. Sometimes I feel like the best thing for me is to recieve a slap in the face and a strict order, so I won't have to think as much. People following orders or requests don't have to think as much. I think I'm missing the bliss that ignorance brings.
I sent two more gifts away. One for Heather and David, and the other for Brenda. Now I just gotta send a little something to Brian and my Christmas shopping will be all done. ^_^
Christmas will be here in a week or so, but things don't... I dunno, have that feeling of Christmas that I'm used to. Maybe it's because its not as hot as I remembered all my other Christmasses to be. It is incredibly hot, but compared to the past seven years or so, its remarkably cool. I wonder what gives?
There was a weird splatter on my pale blue wall today, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what caused it... until I realised it was there because Sabre has begun to sneeze blood. Poor kitty, he's hurting so much and I can't do anything to allieviate the pain, short of killing him. But... I don't want to kill him... I know I should, but I don't want to have to be the one to decide that. I want my parents to, but knowing them they just put it off until he'd suffer the more painful kind of death. I just want him to feel no pain anymore, but I also don't want to have his death on my hands. I'm running away from my responsibility to make this decision, and its a childish thing to do. But I don't feel right deciding life or death on a living creature that can't answer for itself. ^^;
His poor little nose looks terrible, almost like its been burnt off. But I bet the cancer that is inside his head is far worse. He's going to end up asphixiating if he doesn't get put down.
And Sabre's the best, smartest, dearest cat in the whole world. I don't wanna lose him.
Oh well, just needed to vent that.
It's been a few weeks since I said goodbye to Matty at the airport. I talk to him just about everyday, anyhow, but I still miss him nevertheless. I guess talking to him on the net and being around him in person are two vastly different things. I haven't stopped pining yet, and I don't thing I will for a long time, though I do envy my younger sister for being able to see her boyfriend whenever she has the vaguest whim. Some people just have things easier. Well, I'm not bitter about it, I think. ^_^
But I can never be certain of what my own mind is trying to say to me. Knowing stuff can go against people sometimes, I reckon. I've looked at the mind a lot, so I probably analyze myself too deeply, when a simple answer is probably the best one. Sometimes I feel like the best thing for me is to recieve a slap in the face and a strict order, so I won't have to think as much. People following orders or requests don't have to think as much. I think I'm missing the bliss that ignorance brings.