Thoughts, my day, and a word or two (hundred).
Today was nothing but one long errand. I kinda slept in, then went into town and bought some supplies in Mt Druitt. In my search of trying to find outlandish foods to cook and try, I found myself in an Asian grocery store. I kinda recalled what dim sims had in them and wondered if I could try and make my own with sausage meat, chinese cabbage and carrots and stuff. The idea didn't really fly well, but I found that they sold pocky there, which made me very happy. I loves pocky.
I got some ID tags for my luggage, then spent a lot of time doing what I really hate - shopping for clothes. It's always such a depressing thing for me, clothes are always too small, shoes are always too big, and all the styles are ugly. I hate fashion today. Most of the clothes that I really like I find at thrift stores, that's how old fashioned I can be. In the end though, I guess I came out with the stuff I wanted despite it being ludicrously expensive.
As well as that I went and got my hair trimmed. It's about an inch shorter with all the ratty and split ends cut off. This means that in about a week all the new ends of my hair will turn copperish. I really don't care as long as its easier to brush now.
Tomorrow I'm going to deposit the cash I have in my wallet back into my back account so I can have all my savings in two places instead of three. I hate having to keep track of money because its always disappearing. Once the weekend is over I just have to get the second luggage bag off my grandmother and then schedule a last check up with my doctor. Oh, and of course, double-check my booking with the airline. That's very important too.
Something quite strange happened to me today. I was buying those ID tags at the store and I noticed that the checkout girl was one of my old friends at school. The short blonde slightly plump girl that used to hang out with me and my friends. She was about two years younger than us but she dropped out of school early to enter the workforce. Last I heard of her she had tried to join the navy. She had been very adamant about it too, full of talk and hopes.
And there she was working at a cheap grocery store. I wondered what had happened to her. She looked like she had been eating badly and wasn't getting enough sleep. She looked older too. I wondered what had happened to her, or if this was the look of somebody who's dream had died. She avoided eye contact with me on purpose. I could see that pretty clearly. It must have been highly embarassing for her and she acted like she had never met me before in her life. It's saddening really, to see something like that happen to somebody so young.
But then, also, I can also think of other people who have fallen like that. I remember my friend Amba and how she ruined her life. I'm emotionally unnattached to these things of course, its just something that happens as you drift away from people, but it just reminds me how easy it can be to fail. When good things happen bad things happen as well.
I don't want to end up like that, as some dead-eyed woman cemented into a role that they had not picked out for themselves. But look, look at how easy it was for somebody just like me to slide that way.
I'm one third through The Other Side of Dawn. I just have a feeling that by the end of this book I'm gonna be sobbing like a little girl. It's D-Day, the final stages of the war, and instead of running all Ellie and her friends can do is stand and fight like soldiers. Somewhere along the course of the seven books they stopped becoming children and became adults, murderers and philosphers.
I swear, in several places of this book series I just wanted to stick my hands through the book and throttle the author hiding behind it, others I wanted to give the author a hug and a thumbs up. Some of the things that he's done to the characters is just unforgivable, but in that sense it makes it so, so good. I think, to be honest, that this is the best book series that I've ever read. Nothing else could compare.
That was in what I was reading. In what I'm writing I have a preliminary outline on what the next Turned On chapter is going to be like, but it mostly seems like a peaceful filler chapter that'll connect to a more important, actiony chapter. I don't know whether to write more on Chaz and Rika's interaction and possible relationship, or to push them together or break them apart or what. There's so many things I could do.
With what I'm playing with I'm still fiddling with the spring festival part of the CoS game. I tried to battle animate some fireworks but they didn't turn out too well when used as an event command. Instead I just think I'll go with the coloured flashes of light instead of showing the fireworks rising and bursting in the air. It's a shame, really, because I was really looking forward to having that in the game.
Plot-wise in the game I'm about to do a very cruel thing which will seem confusing in the beginning of the game but will make sense much later on, provided I get far enough with the game to do that. I have to balance events with quests, too. By quests I mean dungeons, battles, training, stuff like that. CoS is becoming pretty event-heavy as it is.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, about how people choose to spend their time. I reckon that if we scrutinize out activities very closely we can find huge holes in the routines that we set ourselves, filled with nothing. Why don't we actively make an effort to fill these holes with something extra in our lives?
I'd certainly like to walk more. I used to love walking to school each morning. Now that there is no more school I don't see the morning as often as I used to. There is no more necessity for that activity. I simply sleep in nowadays. That isn't filling a hole in my life though; it's merely pasting over it with a different crucial activity. That's not the right thing to do... right?
I wish that I had more willpower. Then I'd be able to maximise the fruits of my labor with a minimal amount of effort. Some people just seem to be good at everything. Others have to work at it. I worked at it but now it feels like I've stopped caring about anything that isn't already rooted into my schedule. I want to care about everything. I want to never be bored. I need the effort and the drive to take a step backwards into my past and the person that I used to be.
Maybe growing up kills the thing inside of us that makes us see into things, instead of at things. We can only hope that it is revivable again. Maybe, maybe not. As long as we try that would be alright then, wouldn't it?
I got some ID tags for my luggage, then spent a lot of time doing what I really hate - shopping for clothes. It's always such a depressing thing for me, clothes are always too small, shoes are always too big, and all the styles are ugly. I hate fashion today. Most of the clothes that I really like I find at thrift stores, that's how old fashioned I can be. In the end though, I guess I came out with the stuff I wanted despite it being ludicrously expensive.
As well as that I went and got my hair trimmed. It's about an inch shorter with all the ratty and split ends cut off. This means that in about a week all the new ends of my hair will turn copperish. I really don't care as long as its easier to brush now.
Tomorrow I'm going to deposit the cash I have in my wallet back into my back account so I can have all my savings in two places instead of three. I hate having to keep track of money because its always disappearing. Once the weekend is over I just have to get the second luggage bag off my grandmother and then schedule a last check up with my doctor. Oh, and of course, double-check my booking with the airline. That's very important too.
Something quite strange happened to me today. I was buying those ID tags at the store and I noticed that the checkout girl was one of my old friends at school. The short blonde slightly plump girl that used to hang out with me and my friends. She was about two years younger than us but she dropped out of school early to enter the workforce. Last I heard of her she had tried to join the navy. She had been very adamant about it too, full of talk and hopes.
And there she was working at a cheap grocery store. I wondered what had happened to her. She looked like she had been eating badly and wasn't getting enough sleep. She looked older too. I wondered what had happened to her, or if this was the look of somebody who's dream had died. She avoided eye contact with me on purpose. I could see that pretty clearly. It must have been highly embarassing for her and she acted like she had never met me before in her life. It's saddening really, to see something like that happen to somebody so young.
But then, also, I can also think of other people who have fallen like that. I remember my friend Amba and how she ruined her life. I'm emotionally unnattached to these things of course, its just something that happens as you drift away from people, but it just reminds me how easy it can be to fail. When good things happen bad things happen as well.
I don't want to end up like that, as some dead-eyed woman cemented into a role that they had not picked out for themselves. But look, look at how easy it was for somebody just like me to slide that way.
I'm one third through The Other Side of Dawn. I just have a feeling that by the end of this book I'm gonna be sobbing like a little girl. It's D-Day, the final stages of the war, and instead of running all Ellie and her friends can do is stand and fight like soldiers. Somewhere along the course of the seven books they stopped becoming children and became adults, murderers and philosphers.
I swear, in several places of this book series I just wanted to stick my hands through the book and throttle the author hiding behind it, others I wanted to give the author a hug and a thumbs up. Some of the things that he's done to the characters is just unforgivable, but in that sense it makes it so, so good. I think, to be honest, that this is the best book series that I've ever read. Nothing else could compare.
That was in what I was reading. In what I'm writing I have a preliminary outline on what the next Turned On chapter is going to be like, but it mostly seems like a peaceful filler chapter that'll connect to a more important, actiony chapter. I don't know whether to write more on Chaz and Rika's interaction and possible relationship, or to push them together or break them apart or what. There's so many things I could do.
With what I'm playing with I'm still fiddling with the spring festival part of the CoS game. I tried to battle animate some fireworks but they didn't turn out too well when used as an event command. Instead I just think I'll go with the coloured flashes of light instead of showing the fireworks rising and bursting in the air. It's a shame, really, because I was really looking forward to having that in the game.
Plot-wise in the game I'm about to do a very cruel thing which will seem confusing in the beginning of the game but will make sense much later on, provided I get far enough with the game to do that. I have to balance events with quests, too. By quests I mean dungeons, battles, training, stuff like that. CoS is becoming pretty event-heavy as it is.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, about how people choose to spend their time. I reckon that if we scrutinize out activities very closely we can find huge holes in the routines that we set ourselves, filled with nothing. Why don't we actively make an effort to fill these holes with something extra in our lives?
I'd certainly like to walk more. I used to love walking to school each morning. Now that there is no more school I don't see the morning as often as I used to. There is no more necessity for that activity. I simply sleep in nowadays. That isn't filling a hole in my life though; it's merely pasting over it with a different crucial activity. That's not the right thing to do... right?
I wish that I had more willpower. Then I'd be able to maximise the fruits of my labor with a minimal amount of effort. Some people just seem to be good at everything. Others have to work at it. I worked at it but now it feels like I've stopped caring about anything that isn't already rooted into my schedule. I want to care about everything. I want to never be bored. I need the effort and the drive to take a step backwards into my past and the person that I used to be.
Maybe growing up kills the thing inside of us that makes us see into things, instead of at things. We can only hope that it is revivable again. Maybe, maybe not. As long as we try that would be alright then, wouldn't it?