(no subject)

[blackvelvet2]

I have always tried to live my life by example and be all I can to show others the way. I have always been proud of who I am. I have always tried to support and care for others without expectations but when you grow to truly care for someone I guess the expectation comes that they won't hang you out to dry. Even through a friends honest admission of confusion, I thought I saw something that was apparently not there. I thought there was strength and integrity shining through. I guess it was hope and faith on my part, because when it came down to it - I was being a stupid girl and allowing myself to be hurt. I can't save anyone and I don't know why I feel as though I can. They have to be ready to save themselves. Yes I am a little angry right now - not with them but with myself. I have disappointed myself in allowing my time and energy to be drained on a person who said they cared and I guess they must have but this is my bad because I allowed it to happen. I read a poem once and I can't remember who wrote it or the exact wording but it went something like "I was walking down the street and I fell into a hole but it was not my fault, I did not see it and it took my a long time to get out. Later I was walking down the same street and I pretended not to see the hole and again I fell in and it took me a long time to get out but it was not my fault. Again I was walking down the same street and this time I saw the hole and I fell in again and it was my fault. So I once again started to walk down the same street and I saw the hole and I decided to turn around and take another street..."

There is no reason to run in circles in this life - it is far to short to keep making the same mistakes over and over again and to let fear and confusion run your life.