motherfucking kids
Today I'm at the bad school. We're making paper and I'm kinda excited because it's actually working out like I thought it would and I made the deckles( the things that strain the paper pulp) myself last night and I'm feeling all handy and shit about it.
Then these bastards(literally) come in. Fifth graders, though their average age is probably 12, and their vocabulary is composed entirely of mumbles, soulja boy lyrics,and cusswords. The first class was ok- we actually made a couple sheets of paper, and I think they sorta grasped the papermaking process. They're a pretty smart group. Surely spawned from the loins of satan himself, but fairly bright. The second 5th grade class is composed almost entirely of idiots, with one kid who's smart but has no support at home, and another girl who's kinda smart but she's a stuck up cunt and is always telling me how she's going to ASFA for art but can't draw worth a damn. I take half the class waiting patiently for them to be quiet, cause if I started yelling at them to shut the fuck up I'd probably get in trouble- then I give them a quick overview of the lesson and tell them to get out because they're getting on my nerves.
So I'm enjoying a little peace before my next lot of miscreants comes in, and I hear a bunch of yelling and shit and I look out of my door to see this one kid flailing away at this girl who's got about 3 inches and 30 pounds on him. She's clearly got the upper hand, and he punches like a fucking gay baby, so I just observe for a bit- until they clinch up and it looks like things might get a little more serious. So I'm in the middle of the two of them, grabbing them by their shirts, and pulling them apart when this bitch pulls a Mike Tyson and tries to bite me (BITE ME!). Fuck.
Then, right after lunch, I had one of my favorite kindergarten kids spit in the paper pulp we were using. He's got a really funny speech impediment, so when he finally admitted "Mista Art(all the 5 year olds at this school call me that), I 'pit in da wadda" all I could do was laugh- then I gave him a cup full of paper pulp (which looks like greyish vomit water and smells kinds bad) and told him he could either drink it or go the the office. He started crying.
Then these bastards(literally) come in. Fifth graders, though their average age is probably 12, and their vocabulary is composed entirely of mumbles, soulja boy lyrics,and cusswords. The first class was ok- we actually made a couple sheets of paper, and I think they sorta grasped the papermaking process. They're a pretty smart group. Surely spawned from the loins of satan himself, but fairly bright. The second 5th grade class is composed almost entirely of idiots, with one kid who's smart but has no support at home, and another girl who's kinda smart but she's a stuck up cunt and is always telling me how she's going to ASFA for art but can't draw worth a damn. I take half the class waiting patiently for them to be quiet, cause if I started yelling at them to shut the fuck up I'd probably get in trouble- then I give them a quick overview of the lesson and tell them to get out because they're getting on my nerves.
So I'm enjoying a little peace before my next lot of miscreants comes in, and I hear a bunch of yelling and shit and I look out of my door to see this one kid flailing away at this girl who's got about 3 inches and 30 pounds on him. She's clearly got the upper hand, and he punches like a fucking gay baby, so I just observe for a bit- until they clinch up and it looks like things might get a little more serious. So I'm in the middle of the two of them, grabbing them by their shirts, and pulling them apart when this bitch pulls a Mike Tyson and tries to bite me (BITE ME!). Fuck.
Then, right after lunch, I had one of my favorite kindergarten kids spit in the paper pulp we were using. He's got a really funny speech impediment, so when he finally admitted "Mista Art(all the 5 year olds at this school call me that), I 'pit in da wadda" all I could do was laugh- then I gave him a cup full of paper pulp (which looks like greyish vomit water and smells kinds bad) and told him he could either drink it or go the the office. He started crying.