she loves me NOT!!
its really starting to sink in that K truely doesnt love me and nor do i think she ever did, i was just a play thing while she was bored at home and things werent good with her hubby... its taken me a long time to realise this as my feelings for her have clouded my judgment through everything that she has thrown at me... i think the real key to it was her line of funny how things turn out init!! thats about as uncareing and unfeeling as you can be towards anyone, i guess ive just hung around through al th epain she has put me through in the hope that things would have a happy ending, but i can see thats not going to happen now and never was on the cards in the first place...
maybe one day someone will put her through the same thing and then she will remember me and realise what it really feels like to love someone with all your heart but for them to not give a shite about you in return...
im being forced to move house again thanks to my landlady wanting to sell this place, i have no idea where im going to, but im thinking of getting out of devon only ploblem is reguardless of where i go i will still be carying the same feelings inside that doesnt change with location sadly, wish it did though as it would make things so much easier...
at least out of all this ive learnt to never let woman know how i truely feel about her until we hav been together for a long time and i'll just carry on as i am at the moment not letting myself get too close to anyone and when i do then i just end it with them as i cant deal with amount of pain again with anyone...
so if your reading this then i hope you and all your mates had a good laugh at me playing all your games and im sure you won a few bets as well at my expense..
ive loved 3 women in my life and you K were the third and i thought and hoped the real and final one, but sadly it was onesided, and all 3 of them have broken my heart...
im sure your be well happy in your new life with your new boyfriend living it up in america....