2008 Is Coming & Things Are Looking Up
Thursday
Things got really bad towards the end of 2007, but getting ready to start 2008 everything's looking up. Shiloh and Alice died, but they were really happy when they were alive. I'm getting a new puppy in 2008 and maybe I can convince my parents to get a kitten on the same day too. I had a lot of people turn on me for no reason, but I've cut them all out of my life and I feel so free. Free of everything that had been bringing me down. I even made a new MySpace and FaceBook free of the things that used to bring me down. I've been telling myself that I never met certain people and that a lot of things never happened and after saying it so much, I'm really starting to believe it. I'm blocking out everything from my past that made my present so shitty. I've never not wanted a boyfriend more in my life. I went from being a hopeless romantic to not believeing in true love at all. I think love (in romantic relationships) is just bullshit, and since I've realized that, it can't bring me down anymore. Maybe one day way in the future something will happen that'll make me reconsider my discovery, but right now I think it's a waste of time. I noticed I've been a little bit bitchier every now and then, ever since I was really nice to people who treated me like shit in return. I think it's only temporary, though. Now that I don't need any of that relationship bullshit in my life, I've felt really free and almost as if I don't need anyone. I'm caring less about what other people think of me and acting less like my old self. Really, that's exactly what I wanted for a long time, though. I wanted to run away from everything I was.
I'm getting a digital SLR this month. I'm hoping to bring it with me everywhere and get over whatever has been holding me back from taking pictures now. I don't think I want to deal with band photography too much anymore because everyone I met that took pictures of bands turned out to be a complete asshole. I don't know if it's a coincidence or not, but I don't want to end up like them. Plus, it's pretty unoriginal. Maybe if I get back into all the horse stuff I was doing, I'll start photographing horses. I passed my road test yesterday, so I'm still thinking about getting a car. But the camera's going to be a little over $1,000 and I've been trying to save. I'm still slightly considering photography classes, but my hate for school hasn't changed. I don't see myself getting an apartment too soon, but it'd be great if I did. I'll probably need that second job first. I'm going to Israel for free this summer on the Birth Right Trip. I just have to re-register in February. I'll be 21 in 94 days from today and I'm trying to find a place to have a party where my underage friends can drink. It's Hanukkah this week, but I'm really not feeling like doing the holidays this year. I'm not getting anyone anything for Christmas and I'm not asking for any presents from anyone this year. Other than all that, I've been watching South Park every night, listening to The Beatles pretty often, and everything else is pretty much the same.
Things got really bad towards the end of 2007, but getting ready to start 2008 everything's looking up. Shiloh and Alice died, but they were really happy when they were alive. I'm getting a new puppy in 2008 and maybe I can convince my parents to get a kitten on the same day too. I had a lot of people turn on me for no reason, but I've cut them all out of my life and I feel so free. Free of everything that had been bringing me down. I even made a new MySpace and FaceBook free of the things that used to bring me down. I've been telling myself that I never met certain people and that a lot of things never happened and after saying it so much, I'm really starting to believe it. I'm blocking out everything from my past that made my present so shitty. I've never not wanted a boyfriend more in my life. I went from being a hopeless romantic to not believeing in true love at all. I think love (in romantic relationships) is just bullshit, and since I've realized that, it can't bring me down anymore. Maybe one day way in the future something will happen that'll make me reconsider my discovery, but right now I think it's a waste of time. I noticed I've been a little bit bitchier every now and then, ever since I was really nice to people who treated me like shit in return. I think it's only temporary, though. Now that I don't need any of that relationship bullshit in my life, I've felt really free and almost as if I don't need anyone. I'm caring less about what other people think of me and acting less like my old self. Really, that's exactly what I wanted for a long time, though. I wanted to run away from everything I was.
I'm getting a digital SLR this month. I'm hoping to bring it with me everywhere and get over whatever has been holding me back from taking pictures now. I don't think I want to deal with band photography too much anymore because everyone I met that took pictures of bands turned out to be a complete asshole. I don't know if it's a coincidence or not, but I don't want to end up like them. Plus, it's pretty unoriginal. Maybe if I get back into all the horse stuff I was doing, I'll start photographing horses. I passed my road test yesterday, so I'm still thinking about getting a car. But the camera's going to be a little over $1,000 and I've been trying to save. I'm still slightly considering photography classes, but my hate for school hasn't changed. I don't see myself getting an apartment too soon, but it'd be great if I did. I'll probably need that second job first. I'm going to Israel for free this summer on the Birth Right Trip. I just have to re-register in February. I'll be 21 in 94 days from today and I'm trying to find a place to have a party where my underage friends can drink. It's Hanukkah this week, but I'm really not feeling like doing the holidays this year. I'm not getting anyone anything for Christmas and I'm not asking for any presents from anyone this year. Other than all that, I've been watching South Park every night, listening to The Beatles pretty often, and everything else is pretty much the same.