On a total serious but still very humorous bent note: FF7 fusion with Castlevania [NC-17]
Nothing in the world existed that was better than the feel of flesh within your power. To mold, to sculpt, to make dance, to acquiesce to your carnal demands. Sephiroth took joy lapping at the stud of metal right under Ikarin's lower lip, evading every attempt the younger blond made to kiss him. The older of the pair was nearly weeping in his ear, whimpering and gasping so close to his ear, backed up between his legs and so fully flush against him. It was all music, the noises of his brides.
Sephiroth's other arm was drawn around Ikarin's waist, locking him against his own side and still denying him what he wanted. Sephiroth caught Ikarin's earlobe between his teeth to further tease him, double gold loops between his fangs. The cry of frustration was its own melody, and Sephiroth watched from the corner of his eye Ikarin finding another prize, a consolation, in his own brother and sealed his lips around Koarin's.
There was a mingled, harmonious groan that almost undid him right there, and Sephiroth had to stop stroking Koarin's cock just to hold himself together. How he wished he could step away and watch the pair attack each other sexually, watch as likely Ikarin throw Koarin to the mattress and fuck him, watch as maybe Koarin sink down to knees and elbows to suck Ikarin off, leaving the boy's ass high in the air and maybe Ikarin leaning forward to lick--
Damnation to the devil, how he was going to enjoy these two.
---
"I got reptile repellant," Zack crooned from his tiny crawlspace, tempting the father of three with his wares. "Only 500 gil."
"I'm doing just fucking fine," Zero screamed, battering the crocodiles left and right and up and down and to and fro. "I don't need your scams!"
Zack pouted. "I'd like to see you get out of here without my help," he challeneged. But Zero wasn't listening. He had his kids to find and a monster to destroy, and right now, these muthafuckin ALLIGATORS-but-not were in his muthafuckin WAY.
---
And Akira was bored, trapped in her room of pillows. "Se~ph," she sniffled. "Why didn't you pick meeee?"
...Akira's generally better than that.