1. Blue Diamond Nut-thins. They're crunchy, slightly nutty and gluten-free if you're into that sort of thing. Don't get the Harvest Cheddar ones. They taste like these but with Kraft Dinner dust on them.
2. Utz Pumpernickel Pretzel Rods. Pumpernickel. In pretzel form. What's not to like? Very good with port wine cheese spread/dip.
3. Turkey Hill Duetto Lemon Italian ice with soft serve vanilla ice cream.
SRSLY. I'm not into food kink but if I was this stuff would play a part.
4. Health is Wealth Potstickers. Tasty, easy and vegan if you're into that sort of thing. You can throw them in the oven and then whisk together some soy sauce and honey and your guests will think you made an effort. For what it's worth, I'm a big fan of Totino's Pizza Rolls, except that they make my teeth itch and fill me with shame. I've tried the health-food-section version of pizza rolls and have not been impressed. These are way better.