(no subject)
Well i didnt go to school today and i really dont wanna go back. i'm really tired of it and of some of my friends(not saying who) and i hate colorguard with a passion. i'm a little depressed because just rencently something really bad and severe has happend to me that just like 3 people know about and i'm not saying what. it's really personal. anyways i'm starting to get over raymon..i think.. (is that good?) i'll always love him. It's weird how alot of bad things have happend to me since i've tried to move on from him... maybe i'm ment to not move on from him... there's just so many signs. I think i'd rather be by myself. i dont wanna hurt. in his peom that he wrote he said that "i diserve better" but i ask him... is this better? me being sad without him or getting hurt by some other guy forcing me to do things or having me feel uncomforable.Doesnt he see what we have together how we are alike in so many ways. how happy he makes me, why would he want to let go of that. i wish he wasnt so cold i wish he would just open up to me. I would never hurt him. If only he knew about some things that has happend to me. I felt safe with him, i WAS safe. He is my comfort. Sometimes i just wanna run to him and hug him and just be there with him.Nobody makes me feel the way he does when he hugs me. It's just a warmth that's there. and when i'm sad and i wanna cry i feel like just running into his arms and i just wanna hear him say it's ok i'm here. But that never happens. I wish he knew every feeling that i felt in my body. there's so many things to say that have not been said. i wish he knew. Raymon .... "take a look at me now".