holey-moley
its a miracle, i've been trying and trying and trying to log into this daft journal for sooooooo long and i've finally done it. wow. humph, i wonder why for the past however long its been i've not been able to gain access. whatever. anyway, i highly doubt anyone is even going to read this at this point, thats okay i do not have anything really worth reading in the first place. its quite funny, i'm always reading other people's journals and they seem like such interesting people with such interesting things to say and they lead such interesting lives and i don't have anything half as interesting to say or do or think. i'm not very eloquent at all. i just read theetherealdawn's most current message and i cannot do things like that. its very sad. i guess its just better when i'm alone with my kitties and my music and my books. i often wonder why. why am i this thing that doesn't really exist just kind of takes up space in the world. not really a full person but an empty shell. a carcass. cleo is curled up next to me right now, this tiny little ball of black and white fluff and its quite funny because in as long as we've known each other he has been the only steady thing in my life. he keeps me sane and makes me keep going. is it possible to love a cat more than you love any other living thing? i guess it most be. he's my bestest friend. yeah. i wonder where we'll be in 5 years in 10 years. i doubt he'll be alive in 10 years and what will i do then without my little friend with me to give this meaningless existance some shred of meaning. i guess perhaps by then wednesday will be a little old man and he will take cleo's place (but not really). i'm so odd. this is the first thing i've written in ages and its about my cats. yeah well... i don't fucking know. cleo looks quite comfortable, i think perhaps its time to snuggle up next to him and take a little nap.