(no subject)
Title:Maybe in another world (oneshot)
Author:blacksoul12012
Pairings:Junsu/Jay, Junsu/Taecyeon
Rating:PG-13
Warning: character death, slight sexual content, mentions of murder
Disclaimer:If I owned them, be sure I wouldn't write fanfiction ^^
A/N: Vampire-AU; English is not my first language; beta-ed by the wonderful lost_view; this is something that just came to my mind, I hope you enjoy it =)
You knew something bad would happen. 6 months ago it had been decided that the community of vampires would finally reveal their identity. After decades, hundreds of years, the high court thought it was time. You had a bad feeling. Although you are one of the most powerful fighters among the community you're still just a low class vampire with no right to disagree. So you waited for the chaos to start. And it did. Sooner than even you had expected. At first humans were interested in the fascinating creatures they only knew of films and books and tales. But life is never easy and some vampires thought that revealing their identity meant free blood. Humanity has never been ready for this and in pure fear they decided to appoint hunters in order to kill those bloody things they once only had known in fiction. The high court tried to calm the humans down by appointing hunters themselves. And once again life tried to play some cruel game with you all. After a huge massacre with thousands of dead humans and vampires it was decided: there would be war.
A war you never wanted to see.
- - - - -
21 January 2050
You've been doing a good job in hiding. From both vampires and humans and you are quite proud of yourself.
It's time for your monthly feeding so you go to the darkest, filthiest and most dangerous district of the town. Even though you try to never kill any human you know people in this district won’t be missed. Pulling the scarf deeper in your face, you let the cold wind rush through your hair.
Suddenly you hear a scream and yelling. Fights are nothing special here, a place where the lowest of the lowest live and where life is not even worth a hot meal. But what alerts your senses is the intense smell of blood. Blood and the presence of a vampire.
Damn!, is all you can think and you run as fast as you can. If you can sense the vampire he can probably sense you, too. And you don't want to be found! So there's only one choice. Killing.
As you reach the scene your stomach twists. Both in disgust and hunger. Everywhere there’s blood, the body lying on the ground is ripped apart in every way possible. But where is the vampire?
“I'm sad you don't even recognize me anymore.”
A shiver runs down your spine. This coldness...is it even possible? You turn around, hoping for your fears to not come true.
“Taecyeon....”
It's nothing more than a whisper. But you're sure the other has heard you.
“At least you remember my name!”, the taller man snorts while trying to brush off some dirt and blood from his coat.
“What do you want here?” You are fully aware that your voice doesn't sound as cold and emotionless as it should.
A loud laugh rings in your ears. But it's nothing but cold and patronizing.
“Junsu, you really thought we wouldn't find you?”
Grabbing your chin he forces you to look right into his eyes.
“You know, as the best of our soldiers suddenly ran away without any reason the court was really angry. And I suppose you also know what consequences that normally has, don’t you?”
You swallow and nod. He's here to kill you, you know it.
“But, the good person I am, I could convince them to let you live. On one condition: you come back and fight for us!”
Your head spins. You don't want to fight. You’ve never wanted anything of this. Not this life, not this war. But before you can answer you hear further yelling.
“GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HIM, BASTARD!!”
You both turn around only to see a gun pointed at you. No, the gun is pointed at Taecyeon. What is happening here?
“Tze, you vampires are such assholes! One wasn't enough, was it?”
The person walks closer and you can see his face. He's young, about your age. Well, your age when you died. His hair is shaved on both sides with an unmistakable pattern. In addition to the long black coat similar to those of priests and the gun he's holding there's only one conclusion: A hunter?!
“You really think that stupid little gun is frightening me? You hunters are so amusing...”
Taec laughs again, showing his fangs, a clear sign of power among vampires.
The hunter just stares at him not seeming to be the slightest intimidated by the other.
“Junsu, this is your chance! Just kill him!”
The older vampire leans down, whispering in your ear and gripping your shoulder.
“I said get off him! Now!”
“What if not? You're gonna shoot me with your little toy?”
The mocking tone in Taec's voice is obvious and the hunter's eyebrow twitches for a second before he really shoots. It all passes so fast, you cannot even see the bullet flying past you and hitting Taec’s shoulder. The thing that happens next is something you absolutely do not expect. Taec is breaking down, wincing in pain. You just stare at him, lying on the floor, as you feel a hand on your shoulder.
“You okay? Did he do anything?”
Two brown eyes seem to pierce your soul and you hesitate before you nod.
“Didn't expect me to shoot, did you?”
The hunter laughs and kneels down, dangerously close to the vampire.
“You sick piece of shit, what is this?”
“Our new type of bullets. I hope it hurts.”
“I'LL KILL YOU!!”, screams Taec. Both in agony and anger.
“Yeah, we'll see about that. Are you sure you are okay, you're pale!”
You can feel the brown eyes on you again, filled with worry and pain, but all you can do is nod. Nod and hope he doesn't find out.
“What's your name?”
“Junsu...”
Only after you've spoken you realize your voice is shaky and low.
“Okay, I'm Jay. Don't worry, I won't shoot you, you're no danger after all!”
He gives a little smile before pulling out his cellphone.
I'm not? If only you knew...
“Yeah, I got him...yeah, he's still alive...could you please get him to the mansion, I still have got something to do....thanks.”
Jay puts his cellphone back into his coat and smiles at you again.
“Do you live here?”
“Sort of, yes....”
“Sort of? Doesn't sound convincing. You could stay at my house over night. Might be safer.”
You want to say no. Say no and run away. He could find out. He will find out. This is dangerous. But instead you find yourself nodding, beaten by his smile.
You stare in awe as you enter the house of the hunter. You never knew being a hunter would be such a lucrative job. Well, you’ve spent the last year hiding, but still this house has something mysterious yet calming. The next thing you know is you against a wall and his lips on yours.
Without thinking you push him away and run.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Of course you return to that house. You couldn't forget those eyes, those lips, that touch, no matter how hard, how long you searched out there. (Searched for what? XD)
And before you knew it your feet dragged you here, in front of this door, this house. At first you hesitate, but as soon as you're pulled into a fierce hug, as soon as you feel those lips again you know it was the right decision. You're just addicted to this person, you cannot but stick to him. Even if it may be wrong, it feels so right.
So you move into this house. When he asks you what your job is, you just smile and shrug and he seems to understand. He always understands no matter if you talk or if you don't or if you sleep or eat. He's so perfect and you fear the day you're going to destroy this . But until then you want to enjoy every second.
You also meet Chansung, one of Jay's closest friends and, of course, also a hunter. Somehow you don't like him. You don't like how he looks at you, how he tries to separate you and Jay, how the air seems to get a little bit colder when he's alone with you.
Just like right now. You don't know why he decided to visit this house when he knows perfectly well that Jay is gone. On a hunt. You try to be as polite as possible and go to the kitchen to make tea. You can feel his eyes piercing your back.
“Does he know?”
This simple question, the tone of his voice, throws you off your guard. The world seems to spin around you, your heart beats faster. You choose to pretend not to know.
“Know what?”
“That you are a vampire?”
With a loud clatter the cup you were holding seconds ago falls to the ground.
“How did you...?”
“Jay may be a love-sick fool but I'm not. I followed you one night. Wasn't nice what you did to the girl.”
The hunter smirks as he's fondling with his gun. That’s it, it's over now, you think, but he turns around and puts the gun away.
“I won't let you hurt him. Never! If you hurt him in any way, be sure I'll track you down and kill you.”
For the next 5 weeks you avoid everyone and stay in your room. All this time feels like one simple breath.
- - - - - - - - -
And maybe you moved into this house because of Taec, too. He's still in the basement of this huge house, chained, trapped, treated like a prisoner. To the hunters he is one.
When Jay is gone and you're alone you visit him. Although you know it's dangerous, although you know he knows all your secrets you're still drawn to him like a moth to the flame. And as stupid as it may sound - it calms you to know that you're not the only monster in this house. He understands you in a way Jay never will. He also gives you blood when you don't want to go outside, afraid of hunters, afraid of Chansung, afraid of Jay finding you sucking a human's blood.
On some days you think of just taking him and running away from this house. But then Jay's smile appears in front of you and your heart somehow chains you to this house. You're the real prisoner.
“You're such a stupid fool!”
Taec snorts as you put the plate down in front of him. You could convince Jay to get the vampire longer chains, so he can sit and stand and move around a bit. Jay didn't question your request, he just did it.
“You should eat.”
As you sit down next to him, his gaze, his expression changes. From hate and scorn to sadness and....longing?
“You love him, don't you?”
For the first time in years his voice sounds broken, fragile.
You consider fleeing for a moment, but then you nod. He knows it anyways, there's no need in hiding it.
“You're pitiful. He will never know the true you!! You're stupid for pretending to be someone you're not just because you love someone...”
You watch him eating slowly. You know what he wants to tell you. You know he's right, the voice in your head is constantly telling you to run away. But your heart is stronger.
“You once loved me like that, too. Why? Why is it over Junsu? What can he give you that I can't?”
His eyes are pleading you, his voice is slowly tearing your heart apart. You want to give him what he wants. But you can't. And he's not the only one asking why? You are, too.
You want to soothe his pain so you lean in. Just once, he needs it (and you need it, too, but you could never admit it. Why is your heart such a fool, falling for a human while still being chained to a vampire?)
You're both crying and his lips are so cold, unlike Jay's, whose are full of life and warmth. It's slow and painful and it's probably making everything worse but you don't care. You can't care. You need this now.
“JUNSU?!”
You're pulled away forcefully and before you can react the hunter already launches himself on Taec, ready to kill him.
“Wait....”
You don't know what to say. You want this to stop, you want your head to stop spinning, your heart to stop beating.
“Why did you kiss him you bastard? Want to suck his blood, too? You're so dead!!”
Jay's blind with anger, he doesn't realize the tears on Taec's cheeks, how the vampire doesn't even try to fight back, how he tries to reach for you.
Your heart clenches, the air seems to be not enough for you to breathe and you feel like you're suffocating. The world spins faster and faster until everything is black.
You don't hear how Taec frantically screams your name, how Jay finally stops beating him, rushing to your side and taking you away. The only thing you hear, you see, you feel, you smell is darkness. And it's calming.
You wake up in a room. Slowly, painfully you take in your surroundings. It's Jay's room.
The hunter is sitting on a chair next to the bed, his eyes fixed on you. You see so much sadness, agony and worry in his eyes. And you feel guilty, because somehow it's your fault.
You open your mouth to say something (although you don't even know what but you have to say something) when you're caught in a bone-crushing hug. You can hear him sob, can feel his hand tightening in your shirt.
“God damn, Junsu! Don't do that ever again. He could have killed you!!”
“It wasn't his fault...”
This hadn’t been the first thing you wanted to say, but once again your body, in this case your mouth, is moving on it's own.
“Just stay away from him, okay?”
Pleading eyes force their way to your soul and you're reminded of Taec's eyes.
And you do the same thing, you kiss. But this time it's anything but slow and painful. It's desperate, hard and so warm and full of life. You want to stay like this forever.
You can feel the heat radiating from the hunter's body, you can feel the lust in his gaze, in his lips, in his touch. And you know, with lust there also comes blood-lust. You wish you could stay, you wish you could sleep with him (only God knows how much you want that, how many times you dreamed of it) but you also know it's not possible. Not possible without you biting him.
It takes all your strength to break out of his hug, break free from his touch, detach your lips from his. With an apologetic look you turn around and hope, for yourself and him, he goes. You can feel his frustration but as always Jay understands.
When you fall asleep in your own room later you think you can hear your name and moans out of his room. And it drives you crazy.
Weeks later everything seems to be back to normal. Jay is okay with simply holding you, kissing you, touching you. Chansung, on the other hand, becomes more and more attentive.
- - - - - - - -
The day you come home late at night covered with blood and some other substances you don't want to identify you know it's the end. Your last 'real' meal had been too long ago and somehow you couldn't resist that young girl standing so lonely and sad in some dark alley. Taec would be proud of you and laugh at your foolishness. You saw a light shining through the window but your feet moved without listening to your brain telling you to stop.
Jay is sitting in a chair in the living room, polishing his gun. When he finally lifts his head to look at you all the expressions in his face are gone except one: horror.
“JUNSU?! Oh my god what happened? Why are you covered in blood?”
The hunter runs towards you and starts checking your body frantically.
“It's nothing...”
“Nothing? Sure...”
“Just let me sleep, okay?”
Your head spins and you're disgusted with yourself. You just want to lay down and forget everything about this night.
When he finally looks at your face, in your eyes, you can see it. How his world falls apart.
You're eyes are still red from the blood-lust and your fangs push on your lower lip, drawing even more blood to run down your chin and fall on your clothes.
“Junsu....you?”
You want to tell him it's okay but you can't. Because it's not. Nothing is okay.
“You...fuck you!!”
You can see the tears dwelling in his eyes. He's shaking and you can see his hatred and disgust. Slowly he raises his arm and points his gun at you.
“Get out of this house. I never want to see you again!”
His calm voice leaves no room for an argument. Why should you argue? You're wrong. You're the mistake in this whole story. You're the monster...
As if the world is sensing all the happenings it starts raining once you leave the house. Your home. You wander through the streets aimlessly, searching. For what you don't know. It feels like your heart has stopped beating as the rain mixes with the tears running down your cheeks.
What you don't see is how Jay's heart is breaking. How he falls to the ground, trying to collect the pieces, trying to put them back together. How he calls Chansung, how he clings to his body, how he cries and cries. How he whispers every night: “Why?”
The next time you meet Chansung, the atmosphere is even darker.
And the only thing you can say is: “He knows now.”
Before you go back to the world of shadows.
- - - - - - -
You're in front of the court, being celebrated as the hero. You, one of the most famous and strongest vampires, came back after quite a long time being absent and you even brought the noble vampire Teacyeon with you. There will be a huge party for your 'comeback' but it seems you're the only person in the room who's not thrilled.
Someone grabs your hand and an eye-blinding smile appears in front of your face.
“Thank you!”
You feel cold lips on your own. Automatically you close your eyes and try to enjoy it. Only that the kiss, the smile, the touch doesn't reach your heart, your soul. They're still distant, with someone else.
“You have to forget him. You only hurt yourself.”
He's right, you know that. But your heart screams and yells. You try to shut it down, freeze it.
You know what lies ahead of you. Months of hard training, blood, death and tears. And the final battle itself. This is not the time for feelings.
You force yourself to smile, even though you know it's not real (and he probably knows, too, but you try) and intertwine your fingers with his.
Maybe, maybe this is the right way.
- - - - - -
When the final day comes you know. And Taec seems to know, too. He stands closer to you than before, his hand tightening around your waist with his gaze fixed to only one person on the other side. Jay. The hunter's eyes flicker for a few seconds from Taec's hand on your waist to his eyes to your eyes. People always told you, your gaze holds so much pain and sadness. But now you're not sure if yours can rival his gaze.
The last battle starts and everything is a blur for you. You hear screams, can smell blood everywhere and hear guns and swords cutting through flesh. You want that to stop, you want to run, but there is nowhere you can run. So you just go on and hope. You don't know for what, but you just hope.
And then the world stands still. Jay's gun pointing to your head and your sword is against his throat.
“Jay, I...”
“You lied to me.” It's nothing but a whisper but it goes through your whole body, piercing your heart and soul deeply.
“YOU LIED TO ME!! YOU'RE A FUCKING MONSTER!! HOW COULD YOU?!”
Tears are running down his cheeks and he's shaking.
“Kill me.”
You’ve sworn yourself the day you met him that you will die through his hand. And maybe that's what you hoped for.
He looks at you shocked, angry, full of fear. You withstand his gaze, this is your last chance. And he seems to understand. Like he always did.
He nods, more to himself, straightening himself, preparing for the last shot.
“Junsu, I love you.”
You smile. I love you, too. Maybe in another world, another time, the two of you could have been happy. But not this time.
You can hear the shot, can feel the bullet pushing it's way forcefully through your body. You listen to your last heartbeats, the blood rushing one last time through your body. You wonder if you will ever see him again. But to be honest it doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore.
What you don't see is him pointing the gun to his own head, falling down beside you. From the outside it almost looks as if you two are peacefully sleeping side by side. Only that both of you are dead.
And maybe today was supposed to be the day of your death. And for this world to crumble and leave space and time for a new world.
Author:blacksoul12012
Pairings:Junsu/Jay, Junsu/Taecyeon
Rating:PG-13
Warning: character death, slight sexual content, mentions of murder
Disclaimer:If I owned them, be sure I wouldn't write fanfiction ^^
A/N: Vampire-AU; English is not my first language; beta-ed by the wonderful lost_view; this is something that just came to my mind, I hope you enjoy it =)
You knew something bad would happen. 6 months ago it had been decided that the community of vampires would finally reveal their identity. After decades, hundreds of years, the high court thought it was time. You had a bad feeling. Although you are one of the most powerful fighters among the community you're still just a low class vampire with no right to disagree. So you waited for the chaos to start. And it did. Sooner than even you had expected. At first humans were interested in the fascinating creatures they only knew of films and books and tales. But life is never easy and some vampires thought that revealing their identity meant free blood. Humanity has never been ready for this and in pure fear they decided to appoint hunters in order to kill those bloody things they once only had known in fiction. The high court tried to calm the humans down by appointing hunters themselves. And once again life tried to play some cruel game with you all. After a huge massacre with thousands of dead humans and vampires it was decided: there would be war.
A war you never wanted to see.
- - - - -
21 January 2050
You've been doing a good job in hiding. From both vampires and humans and you are quite proud of yourself.
It's time for your monthly feeding so you go to the darkest, filthiest and most dangerous district of the town. Even though you try to never kill any human you know people in this district won’t be missed. Pulling the scarf deeper in your face, you let the cold wind rush through your hair.
Suddenly you hear a scream and yelling. Fights are nothing special here, a place where the lowest of the lowest live and where life is not even worth a hot meal. But what alerts your senses is the intense smell of blood. Blood and the presence of a vampire.
Damn!, is all you can think and you run as fast as you can. If you can sense the vampire he can probably sense you, too. And you don't want to be found! So there's only one choice. Killing.
As you reach the scene your stomach twists. Both in disgust and hunger. Everywhere there’s blood, the body lying on the ground is ripped apart in every way possible. But where is the vampire?
“I'm sad you don't even recognize me anymore.”
A shiver runs down your spine. This coldness...is it even possible? You turn around, hoping for your fears to not come true.
“Taecyeon....”
It's nothing more than a whisper. But you're sure the other has heard you.
“At least you remember my name!”, the taller man snorts while trying to brush off some dirt and blood from his coat.
“What do you want here?” You are fully aware that your voice doesn't sound as cold and emotionless as it should.
A loud laugh rings in your ears. But it's nothing but cold and patronizing.
“Junsu, you really thought we wouldn't find you?”
Grabbing your chin he forces you to look right into his eyes.
“You know, as the best of our soldiers suddenly ran away without any reason the court was really angry. And I suppose you also know what consequences that normally has, don’t you?”
You swallow and nod. He's here to kill you, you know it.
“But, the good person I am, I could convince them to let you live. On one condition: you come back and fight for us!”
Your head spins. You don't want to fight. You’ve never wanted anything of this. Not this life, not this war. But before you can answer you hear further yelling.
“GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HIM, BASTARD!!”
You both turn around only to see a gun pointed at you. No, the gun is pointed at Taecyeon. What is happening here?
“Tze, you vampires are such assholes! One wasn't enough, was it?”
The person walks closer and you can see his face. He's young, about your age. Well, your age when you died. His hair is shaved on both sides with an unmistakable pattern. In addition to the long black coat similar to those of priests and the gun he's holding there's only one conclusion: A hunter?!
“You really think that stupid little gun is frightening me? You hunters are so amusing...”
Taec laughs again, showing his fangs, a clear sign of power among vampires.
The hunter just stares at him not seeming to be the slightest intimidated by the other.
“Junsu, this is your chance! Just kill him!”
The older vampire leans down, whispering in your ear and gripping your shoulder.
“I said get off him! Now!”
“What if not? You're gonna shoot me with your little toy?”
The mocking tone in Taec's voice is obvious and the hunter's eyebrow twitches for a second before he really shoots. It all passes so fast, you cannot even see the bullet flying past you and hitting Taec’s shoulder. The thing that happens next is something you absolutely do not expect. Taec is breaking down, wincing in pain. You just stare at him, lying on the floor, as you feel a hand on your shoulder.
“You okay? Did he do anything?”
Two brown eyes seem to pierce your soul and you hesitate before you nod.
“Didn't expect me to shoot, did you?”
The hunter laughs and kneels down, dangerously close to the vampire.
“You sick piece of shit, what is this?”
“Our new type of bullets. I hope it hurts.”
“I'LL KILL YOU!!”, screams Taec. Both in agony and anger.
“Yeah, we'll see about that. Are you sure you are okay, you're pale!”
You can feel the brown eyes on you again, filled with worry and pain, but all you can do is nod. Nod and hope he doesn't find out.
“What's your name?”
“Junsu...”
Only after you've spoken you realize your voice is shaky and low.
“Okay, I'm Jay. Don't worry, I won't shoot you, you're no danger after all!”
He gives a little smile before pulling out his cellphone.
I'm not? If only you knew...
“Yeah, I got him...yeah, he's still alive...could you please get him to the mansion, I still have got something to do....thanks.”
Jay puts his cellphone back into his coat and smiles at you again.
“Do you live here?”
“Sort of, yes....”
“Sort of? Doesn't sound convincing. You could stay at my house over night. Might be safer.”
You want to say no. Say no and run away. He could find out. He will find out. This is dangerous. But instead you find yourself nodding, beaten by his smile.
You stare in awe as you enter the house of the hunter. You never knew being a hunter would be such a lucrative job. Well, you’ve spent the last year hiding, but still this house has something mysterious yet calming. The next thing you know is you against a wall and his lips on yours.
Without thinking you push him away and run.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Of course you return to that house. You couldn't forget those eyes, those lips, that touch, no matter how hard, how long you searched out there. (Searched for what? XD)
And before you knew it your feet dragged you here, in front of this door, this house. At first you hesitate, but as soon as you're pulled into a fierce hug, as soon as you feel those lips again you know it was the right decision. You're just addicted to this person, you cannot but stick to him. Even if it may be wrong, it feels so right.
So you move into this house. When he asks you what your job is, you just smile and shrug and he seems to understand. He always understands no matter if you talk or if you don't or if you sleep or eat. He's so perfect and you fear the day you're going to destroy this . But until then you want to enjoy every second.
You also meet Chansung, one of Jay's closest friends and, of course, also a hunter. Somehow you don't like him. You don't like how he looks at you, how he tries to separate you and Jay, how the air seems to get a little bit colder when he's alone with you.
Just like right now. You don't know why he decided to visit this house when he knows perfectly well that Jay is gone. On a hunt. You try to be as polite as possible and go to the kitchen to make tea. You can feel his eyes piercing your back.
“Does he know?”
This simple question, the tone of his voice, throws you off your guard. The world seems to spin around you, your heart beats faster. You choose to pretend not to know.
“Know what?”
“That you are a vampire?”
With a loud clatter the cup you were holding seconds ago falls to the ground.
“How did you...?”
“Jay may be a love-sick fool but I'm not. I followed you one night. Wasn't nice what you did to the girl.”
The hunter smirks as he's fondling with his gun. That’s it, it's over now, you think, but he turns around and puts the gun away.
“I won't let you hurt him. Never! If you hurt him in any way, be sure I'll track you down and kill you.”
For the next 5 weeks you avoid everyone and stay in your room. All this time feels like one simple breath.
- - - - - - - - -
And maybe you moved into this house because of Taec, too. He's still in the basement of this huge house, chained, trapped, treated like a prisoner. To the hunters he is one.
When Jay is gone and you're alone you visit him. Although you know it's dangerous, although you know he knows all your secrets you're still drawn to him like a moth to the flame. And as stupid as it may sound - it calms you to know that you're not the only monster in this house. He understands you in a way Jay never will. He also gives you blood when you don't want to go outside, afraid of hunters, afraid of Chansung, afraid of Jay finding you sucking a human's blood.
On some days you think of just taking him and running away from this house. But then Jay's smile appears in front of you and your heart somehow chains you to this house. You're the real prisoner.
“You're such a stupid fool!”
Taec snorts as you put the plate down in front of him. You could convince Jay to get the vampire longer chains, so he can sit and stand and move around a bit. Jay didn't question your request, he just did it.
“You should eat.”
As you sit down next to him, his gaze, his expression changes. From hate and scorn to sadness and....longing?
“You love him, don't you?”
For the first time in years his voice sounds broken, fragile.
You consider fleeing for a moment, but then you nod. He knows it anyways, there's no need in hiding it.
“You're pitiful. He will never know the true you!! You're stupid for pretending to be someone you're not just because you love someone...”
You watch him eating slowly. You know what he wants to tell you. You know he's right, the voice in your head is constantly telling you to run away. But your heart is stronger.
“You once loved me like that, too. Why? Why is it over Junsu? What can he give you that I can't?”
His eyes are pleading you, his voice is slowly tearing your heart apart. You want to give him what he wants. But you can't. And he's not the only one asking why? You are, too.
You want to soothe his pain so you lean in. Just once, he needs it (and you need it, too, but you could never admit it. Why is your heart such a fool, falling for a human while still being chained to a vampire?)
You're both crying and his lips are so cold, unlike Jay's, whose are full of life and warmth. It's slow and painful and it's probably making everything worse but you don't care. You can't care. You need this now.
“JUNSU?!”
You're pulled away forcefully and before you can react the hunter already launches himself on Taec, ready to kill him.
“Wait....”
You don't know what to say. You want this to stop, you want your head to stop spinning, your heart to stop beating.
“Why did you kiss him you bastard? Want to suck his blood, too? You're so dead!!”
Jay's blind with anger, he doesn't realize the tears on Taec's cheeks, how the vampire doesn't even try to fight back, how he tries to reach for you.
Your heart clenches, the air seems to be not enough for you to breathe and you feel like you're suffocating. The world spins faster and faster until everything is black.
You don't hear how Taec frantically screams your name, how Jay finally stops beating him, rushing to your side and taking you away. The only thing you hear, you see, you feel, you smell is darkness. And it's calming.
You wake up in a room. Slowly, painfully you take in your surroundings. It's Jay's room.
The hunter is sitting on a chair next to the bed, his eyes fixed on you. You see so much sadness, agony and worry in his eyes. And you feel guilty, because somehow it's your fault.
You open your mouth to say something (although you don't even know what but you have to say something) when you're caught in a bone-crushing hug. You can hear him sob, can feel his hand tightening in your shirt.
“God damn, Junsu! Don't do that ever again. He could have killed you!!”
“It wasn't his fault...”
This hadn’t been the first thing you wanted to say, but once again your body, in this case your mouth, is moving on it's own.
“Just stay away from him, okay?”
Pleading eyes force their way to your soul and you're reminded of Taec's eyes.
And you do the same thing, you kiss. But this time it's anything but slow and painful. It's desperate, hard and so warm and full of life. You want to stay like this forever.
You can feel the heat radiating from the hunter's body, you can feel the lust in his gaze, in his lips, in his touch. And you know, with lust there also comes blood-lust. You wish you could stay, you wish you could sleep with him (only God knows how much you want that, how many times you dreamed of it) but you also know it's not possible. Not possible without you biting him.
It takes all your strength to break out of his hug, break free from his touch, detach your lips from his. With an apologetic look you turn around and hope, for yourself and him, he goes. You can feel his frustration but as always Jay understands.
When you fall asleep in your own room later you think you can hear your name and moans out of his room. And it drives you crazy.
Weeks later everything seems to be back to normal. Jay is okay with simply holding you, kissing you, touching you. Chansung, on the other hand, becomes more and more attentive.
- - - - - - - -
The day you come home late at night covered with blood and some other substances you don't want to identify you know it's the end. Your last 'real' meal had been too long ago and somehow you couldn't resist that young girl standing so lonely and sad in some dark alley. Taec would be proud of you and laugh at your foolishness. You saw a light shining through the window but your feet moved without listening to your brain telling you to stop.
Jay is sitting in a chair in the living room, polishing his gun. When he finally lifts his head to look at you all the expressions in his face are gone except one: horror.
“JUNSU?! Oh my god what happened? Why are you covered in blood?”
The hunter runs towards you and starts checking your body frantically.
“It's nothing...”
“Nothing? Sure...”
“Just let me sleep, okay?”
Your head spins and you're disgusted with yourself. You just want to lay down and forget everything about this night.
When he finally looks at your face, in your eyes, you can see it. How his world falls apart.
You're eyes are still red from the blood-lust and your fangs push on your lower lip, drawing even more blood to run down your chin and fall on your clothes.
“Junsu....you?”
You want to tell him it's okay but you can't. Because it's not. Nothing is okay.
“You...fuck you!!”
You can see the tears dwelling in his eyes. He's shaking and you can see his hatred and disgust. Slowly he raises his arm and points his gun at you.
“Get out of this house. I never want to see you again!”
His calm voice leaves no room for an argument. Why should you argue? You're wrong. You're the mistake in this whole story. You're the monster...
As if the world is sensing all the happenings it starts raining once you leave the house. Your home. You wander through the streets aimlessly, searching. For what you don't know. It feels like your heart has stopped beating as the rain mixes with the tears running down your cheeks.
What you don't see is how Jay's heart is breaking. How he falls to the ground, trying to collect the pieces, trying to put them back together. How he calls Chansung, how he clings to his body, how he cries and cries. How he whispers every night: “Why?”
The next time you meet Chansung, the atmosphere is even darker.
And the only thing you can say is: “He knows now.”
Before you go back to the world of shadows.
- - - - - - -
You're in front of the court, being celebrated as the hero. You, one of the most famous and strongest vampires, came back after quite a long time being absent and you even brought the noble vampire Teacyeon with you. There will be a huge party for your 'comeback' but it seems you're the only person in the room who's not thrilled.
Someone grabs your hand and an eye-blinding smile appears in front of your face.
“Thank you!”
You feel cold lips on your own. Automatically you close your eyes and try to enjoy it. Only that the kiss, the smile, the touch doesn't reach your heart, your soul. They're still distant, with someone else.
“You have to forget him. You only hurt yourself.”
He's right, you know that. But your heart screams and yells. You try to shut it down, freeze it.
You know what lies ahead of you. Months of hard training, blood, death and tears. And the final battle itself. This is not the time for feelings.
You force yourself to smile, even though you know it's not real (and he probably knows, too, but you try) and intertwine your fingers with his.
Maybe, maybe this is the right way.
- - - - - -
When the final day comes you know. And Taec seems to know, too. He stands closer to you than before, his hand tightening around your waist with his gaze fixed to only one person on the other side. Jay. The hunter's eyes flicker for a few seconds from Taec's hand on your waist to his eyes to your eyes. People always told you, your gaze holds so much pain and sadness. But now you're not sure if yours can rival his gaze.
The last battle starts and everything is a blur for you. You hear screams, can smell blood everywhere and hear guns and swords cutting through flesh. You want that to stop, you want to run, but there is nowhere you can run. So you just go on and hope. You don't know for what, but you just hope.
And then the world stands still. Jay's gun pointing to your head and your sword is against his throat.
“Jay, I...”
“You lied to me.” It's nothing but a whisper but it goes through your whole body, piercing your heart and soul deeply.
“YOU LIED TO ME!! YOU'RE A FUCKING MONSTER!! HOW COULD YOU?!”
Tears are running down his cheeks and he's shaking.
“Kill me.”
You’ve sworn yourself the day you met him that you will die through his hand. And maybe that's what you hoped for.
He looks at you shocked, angry, full of fear. You withstand his gaze, this is your last chance. And he seems to understand. Like he always did.
He nods, more to himself, straightening himself, preparing for the last shot.
“Junsu, I love you.”
You smile. I love you, too. Maybe in another world, another time, the two of you could have been happy. But not this time.
You can hear the shot, can feel the bullet pushing it's way forcefully through your body. You listen to your last heartbeats, the blood rushing one last time through your body. You wonder if you will ever see him again. But to be honest it doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore.
What you don't see is him pointing the gun to his own head, falling down beside you. From the outside it almost looks as if you two are peacefully sleeping side by side. Only that both of you are dead.
And maybe today was supposed to be the day of your death. And for this world to crumble and leave space and time for a new world.