(no subject)
Andy laid in the bed he’s shared with Devin for as long as he can remember, thinking back on the many years spent sleeping beside his brother and how strange it probably is to everyone else. In the beginning, they’d shared a bed because they’d been toddlers afraid of the dark, and so they’d clung to one another. As they’d grown older, they’d never really grown out of the sharing idea, much to their parents’ dismay.
When Andy was around 10, they’d brought a second bed into the room he and Devin had shared and explained very firmly that big boys slept in their own bed and that was that. They weren’t meant to share anymore. Andy had spent months trying to sleep in his own twin sized bed, which seemed huge to him. He’d dutifully go to bed each night by himself after tucking Devin into his smaller, “cool” racecar bed, and he’d lay there for hours wide awake. He was fairly certain already at that age that it wasn’t normal to not sleep, but he had. He’d lie awake for hours, until around midnight each night when Devin would creep quietly out of his racecar bed and he’d stand at the side of Andy’s. Andy would pretend like he hadn’t heard Devin get out of bed or cross the room for a few moments, trying to be a big boy, trying to be right like their parents said. He’d always cave though, and hold his blankets open to his slightly younger brother.
As they’d gotten older, Andy had had to adjust the way he slept. He’d had to compensate for the bed not getting bigger with him, and so he’d slept closer to Devin’s chest. He’d slip his arms around Devin’s waist and press in close to the younger boy, first with his face in Devin’s hair but as their teenage years hit, and Devin outgrew him, he’d learned to sleep with his face in Devin’s hair or tucked against his shoulder. There were the days where he would toss and turn and wake Devin up, so he’d learned a long time ago if he was going to have a sleepless night that it was better if he spent it in the other bed in the room, reading a book to calm his frayed nerves until he thought he could lay with Devin again. He always tried to make it a point to not wake Devin, though he’d still have nightmares fairly frequently.
Their parents knew, of course, that their nearly grown boys were still sharing a bed. They’d never supported it, and so they refused to get them a larger bed. They figured that if Devin kept getting taller and broader like he seemed to be doing that eventually Andy would have to give up on sleeping beside him and sleep in his own bed. It hadn’t worked quite the way they wanted. Andy had learned by the time he was 20 how to sleep curled up atop of Devin’s chest, with his head tucked under Devin’s chin. It had made things much easier when they’d looked to move out and had decided on finding an apartment with only one bedroom.
Andy knew as he laid there on the bed they’d shared their whole life for their last night that would be spent at their parents’ house that everything was changing. They were grown now, they were going to be adults and living on their own and having their own lives. He couldn’t help but smile though at the fact that this, this one thing he’d always had… That wasn’t going to ever change. He’d always be able to end his days curled against Devin’s side with Devin’s arms around his waist. It didn’t matter that they’d have a larger bed now; they’d still have each other. He hummed a soft sound as Devin slipped into the bed with him and shifted so he could give him the room he needed, his body automatically curling to fit against the other man’s. This was what was meant to be, he would always have faith in that from how perfectly he fitted in Devin’s arms, right against Devin’s chest.