i predict a riot
i have been sick for the past few days. i spent all of today on the couch. watching tv. hacking up flem.
such a beautiful image. i know.
I think im going to get my hair cut. straight bangs that come just past my eyes, and a straight cut about midway down my back. i think it would look good with my black hair. i want it darker though. blue-black.
or not cut it. just make it darker.
i feel the need to be small and fragile. vonerable and weak. i need to be carried, held at least, and in some way, protected.
i need some vindictable way to cope with my regret and guilt. before i dissolve back to "unhealthy" methods.
i need to be able to come to the conclusion of weather i am innocent or not, and i need someone to reasure me in whatever conclusion i come to.
but as always i will do without what i need. i will survive on what i can procure by "socially acceptable" methods, which, is not much but will do.
how long?
as long as i can.