(no subject)
The past two days have been really good. First of all, I got my period. For one day. I was so happy. I never thought I'd be happy to get my period but after 10 months of it being missing I was really worried. But I guess this is one more indication that I really am getting better and my body is starting to return to its normal cycles.
I got an A+ in physical chemistry. I was THRILLED!!! You cannot imagine. I went from failing Chemistry last year to getting an A+?!?!?! Anyways I realized that I never would've been capable of marks like this if I had been starving myself. I am so thankful that I was able to concentrate really hard this semester when I was studying for exams. It makes me just remember that telling my mom and reaching out for help was worth it in the end.
I have a meeting at the ED clinic in two weeks. I'm really nervous about it. I kind of feel like I don't deserve it in some way. My eating is mostly normal now so I feel like I should be starving myself or something in order to get treatment at this ED clinic. It's like my problems seem so small and insignificant? I've been feeling a bit better about my body these past couple days. My therapist said I need to not look in the mirror when I go to have a shower. Cuz I usually shower in the evening and I that's when I get most depressed. And I need to write about my characteristics and see which characteristics of mine contribute to the eating disordered thoughts and which characteristics i can use to fight back against it.
I'm working for 4 days straight now. I haven't worked this much since last summer... not looking forward to it but I need the money. So what can I do. Anyways I'm gonna go do some beading. I've just gotten into it recently and it's really fun cuz I can make some really awesome and original jewellery. It's kind of therapeutic I think too.
Thanks for all the support to everyone who reads this. I appreciate it so much!
I got an A+ in physical chemistry. I was THRILLED!!! You cannot imagine. I went from failing Chemistry last year to getting an A+?!?!?! Anyways I realized that I never would've been capable of marks like this if I had been starving myself. I am so thankful that I was able to concentrate really hard this semester when I was studying for exams. It makes me just remember that telling my mom and reaching out for help was worth it in the end.
I have a meeting at the ED clinic in two weeks. I'm really nervous about it. I kind of feel like I don't deserve it in some way. My eating is mostly normal now so I feel like I should be starving myself or something in order to get treatment at this ED clinic. It's like my problems seem so small and insignificant? I've been feeling a bit better about my body these past couple days. My therapist said I need to not look in the mirror when I go to have a shower. Cuz I usually shower in the evening and I that's when I get most depressed. And I need to write about my characteristics and see which characteristics of mine contribute to the eating disordered thoughts and which characteristics i can use to fight back against it.
I'm working for 4 days straight now. I haven't worked this much since last summer... not looking forward to it but I need the money. So what can I do. Anyways I'm gonna go do some beading. I've just gotten into it recently and it's really fun cuz I can make some really awesome and original jewellery. It's kind of therapeutic I think too.
Thanks for all the support to everyone who reads this. I appreciate it so much!