15 Toy Soldiers [Video: Japanese]
The room was, naturally, something of a mess. She had locked herself in earlier, and anything she could get her hands on had been immediately knocked over or thrown to the ground. But the wreckage was superficial, almost an afterthought, unlike her usual tantrums. No, her rampage was directed almost entirely inward this time. She was huddled against the wall now, fingernails dragging raggedly and methodically over her skin. Over and over for what seemed like hours she had clawed at herself, tearing at any inch of flesh she could reach - anything to satisfy the bloodthirsty voice in the back of her mind.
'Worthless worthless worthless...' It echoed in her ears. This world was worthless. She knew that now, more than ever. Any imaginings she'd had to the contrary were just delusions. There was no point trying. There was no point caring.
There was no point.
'Fooling yourself, always. Even no, filling your head with hopeful lies. Stupid, pathetic, worthless girl. Can't you see they hate you?
It's the same. This world doesn't want you either. Shouldn't you just go away? You should die. You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't even exist.
You should die...die...you should have never been born. You should die! Just die!'
-
[She drags herself to her feet, reaches for the communicator to...what? She didn't want to see anyone, or anyone to see her. The only person she wanted wasn't even here; she'd simply gotten used to having people there at the touch of a button. She stumbles forward, knocking the device to the floor and accidentally clicking it on. The first glimpse you get of her isn't exactly pretty. She's completely disheveled, one sleeve of her dress torn, eyes slightly wild. But a closer look makes the image even worse - long, fresh scratches crisscross up her arms and around her neck, many bleeding slightly, all red and raw. She's only visible for a few seconds before she knocks it violently away, sending it clattering across the floor. All that can be seen after that is the ceiling, but her quick, heavy breathing can still be heard.
When she finally speaks, the tone is odd...breathy and cracking. She seems to be talking toward the communicator, but it's clearly directed at someone else. Someone who's not there. She's forgotten all about the device...or simply couldn't care.]
Is this you? Are you watching me? Even here, you, you won't...I know. I know. This is what you wanted...what you always wanted! And you weren't wrong.
[A long pause after that, as though something just occurred to her. Soft footsteps pad across the floor, followed by a dull thump as she falls to her knees. When she speaks again it's slower, almost thoughtful.]
You weren't wrong. This is what...I deserved. [Pause] But you couldn't do it yourself. Too scared...of a mere child.
[There's shuffling and a metallic clink as she drags something toward her. The sound that follows is clear to those who would recognize it- the sound off a sword being slid from it's sheath.]
And now...I am correcting...your mistake.
'Worthless worthless worthless...' It echoed in her ears. This world was worthless. She knew that now, more than ever. Any imaginings she'd had to the contrary were just delusions. There was no point trying. There was no point caring.
There was no point.
'Fooling yourself, always. Even no, filling your head with hopeful lies. Stupid, pathetic, worthless girl. Can't you see they hate you?
It's the same. This world doesn't want you either. Shouldn't you just go away? You should die. You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't even exist.
You should die...die...you should have never been born. You should die! Just die!'
-
[She drags herself to her feet, reaches for the communicator to...what? She didn't want to see anyone, or anyone to see her. The only person she wanted wasn't even here; she'd simply gotten used to having people there at the touch of a button. She stumbles forward, knocking the device to the floor and accidentally clicking it on. The first glimpse you get of her isn't exactly pretty. She's completely disheveled, one sleeve of her dress torn, eyes slightly wild. But a closer look makes the image even worse - long, fresh scratches crisscross up her arms and around her neck, many bleeding slightly, all red and raw. She's only visible for a few seconds before she knocks it violently away, sending it clattering across the floor. All that can be seen after that is the ceiling, but her quick, heavy breathing can still be heard.
When she finally speaks, the tone is odd...breathy and cracking. She seems to be talking toward the communicator, but it's clearly directed at someone else. Someone who's not there. She's forgotten all about the device...or simply couldn't care.]
Is this you? Are you watching me? Even here, you, you won't...I know. I know. This is what you wanted...what you always wanted! And you weren't wrong.
[A long pause after that, as though something just occurred to her. Soft footsteps pad across the floor, followed by a dull thump as she falls to her knees. When she speaks again it's slower, almost thoughtful.]
You weren't wrong. This is what...I deserved. [Pause] But you couldn't do it yourself. Too scared...of a mere child.
[There's shuffling and a metallic clink as she drags something toward her. The sound that follows is clear to those who would recognize it- the sound off a sword being slid from it's sheath.]
And now...I am correcting...your mistake.