stuff
im in a bowl of confusion with all this college shit. i dont wanna lose my friends or my bf b/c a lack of seeing one another. it sounds a bit depressing but im pulling through. i just wanna go to san jose state. but with me out of the house, me and yaron can hang in DB a lot more and my parents NEVER have to know. =>
you know when ppl say that their boy/girl friend is 'perfect' it sounds really sweet and its good to hear but after the break up the reminissions hurt so bad.. i feel that yarons the best thing that has ever happened to me and if he wasnt in my life and wasnt there for me the way he is i dont know where id be. sometimes i think he's 'the one' or something.... but its hard to feel this way about someone when you dont know what perfection really is.
i have lived a whole life in a fucked up situation, emotionally, mentally, ecomicially, everything. but when i met yaron he showed me that sadness isnt all there is to life and that there is good times too. and when you live life with a bleak view on everything, you cant ever be happy. but when you live for the good times, you can be happy every now and again b/c you know that they are there. from those he became my best friend and then we started dating. he's my best friend the reason i got to be way less depressed.
depression is an irreversable trait though. i will always think sad thoughts at random times. little things will bother me more than other things. i believe when someone thinks that someone is the one and the other person dont think the same, they have doubt on if they wanna be with the person or not.
i love yaron and i wanna be with him as long as i can but the future is a bg knot that only father time can loosen.. i guess being away from everyone is scaring me and i dont wanna lose any friends or anything...
besides that fear im doing fine. so yeah im off to listen to more music now.
you know when ppl say that their boy/girl friend is 'perfect' it sounds really sweet and its good to hear but after the break up the reminissions hurt so bad.. i feel that yarons the best thing that has ever happened to me and if he wasnt in my life and wasnt there for me the way he is i dont know where id be. sometimes i think he's 'the one' or something.... but its hard to feel this way about someone when you dont know what perfection really is.
i have lived a whole life in a fucked up situation, emotionally, mentally, ecomicially, everything. but when i met yaron he showed me that sadness isnt all there is to life and that there is good times too. and when you live life with a bleak view on everything, you cant ever be happy. but when you live for the good times, you can be happy every now and again b/c you know that they are there. from those he became my best friend and then we started dating. he's my best friend the reason i got to be way less depressed.
depression is an irreversable trait though. i will always think sad thoughts at random times. little things will bother me more than other things. i believe when someone thinks that someone is the one and the other person dont think the same, they have doubt on if they wanna be with the person or not.
i love yaron and i wanna be with him as long as i can but the future is a bg knot that only father time can loosen.. i guess being away from everyone is scaring me and i dont wanna lose any friends or anything...
besides that fear im doing fine. so yeah im off to listen to more music now.