Physical Injuries, Poly Progress, Life Changes, and Shakespeare
Well! I did that thing again where too much happened and I didn't update during that time, and now I have a ton to discuss.
Firstly, I got hurt at work, in a way that was fairly minor, but was quite important. I dropped a mobile access point and I got my hand caught between it and the rail of the basket where I work. M was there. He kept me from passing out. There was a lot of blood. It's been about 6 weeks and the finger has finally healed. I was able to go without official medical treatment but I was able to discern that the bone was cracked. It's just about better now, although it's got a gnarly bump on the side of my finger.
About a week after that, and almost certainly due to being blatantly obvious, the fact that M and I are in an unconventional relationship came out to our whole crew. It was surprisingly not super terrible although definitely not how I would have liked that to go. I find not caring what anyone thinks about me is helpful to being okay at work, but there are other relationships to maintain at work where respect has to be upheld to be successful. I have some more on that in a few. But first!
Andrew had a brief interlude of romance with a friend of ours. It was somewhat of a poly practice session for us both. They didn't consummate their feelings fully, but essentially I could see that there was a valid connection there. Problem was I was sort of stuck in my home without being a part of that, and feeling like I was inhibiting their ability to address their feels, whatever they ended up being. So I made the executive decision to let them know how I felt, and to stay somewhere else on her last night in town. I did this without ire, and with encouragement. I was nervous and I wasn't necessarily ready for him to spend the night with her while I was in the same house, but also I knew she was going home and they wouldn't get that opportunity again soon. I know how important that can be. I had not ever gotten to spend a night with M in my whole relationship with him, and I wanted to afford the opportunity I had not had, without my processing getting in the way.
So I asked S (M's wife. Yes. They're S&M) if I could stay with them. Not in a romantic capacity, but in the capacity of a comfortable place to stay, with someone heading to the same job as me in the morning. They let me come over and stay in their guest room and it was wonderful. I felt like it was a good moment. IT was 4th of July, so we watched fireworks and after that I went to bed comfortably and safely. I was able to show vulnerability, and treat their house like home. She and I have been making great strides in communicating and bonding and it's been really good, at least from my perspective. Seems to be from hers as well.
Moving on... So M and I no longer work together! He changed jobs to a job much more suited to him, that's in his career path in the same company. It's not at the same mine though, so his daily commute is different and he gets his own company truck. I'm pretty concerned that he's not going to make the time for me that he promises he will, but I'm trying to be open and just see what he does rather than assuming either direction. The job is exciting, and it's alleviated a little bit of the stress and side-eyes from our co-workers.
Last weekend was the first since we have not worked together. I spent a lot of time mourning that change. I cried on our last bus ride together, and on our last drive out together. Our relationship was initially founded on that commute and we've always shared that as a common aspect of our lives since knowing each other, and. Now we don't. It was a good change, and a change that needed to happen, but it was still hard.
They (S&M) ended up having a party that weekend that they had been planning for quite some time, and it was very fun. Elegant hats, and cigars and nice drinks, and a fire pit in the yard. The turnout was a good bunch of folks and it was a good time. I ended up asking if I could spend the night again, assuming their guest room. Well, to sum up I ended up spending the night in their room instead. No funny business. Just cuddles. It was great. I didn't feel like I was getting in the way of them, and I finally got to spend a night next to M. I think the world needs more good quality cuddle piles, honestly.
Hmm... What else what else... Oh yes. Emotional roller coasters (largely for the above reasons). I lost a lot of my cool during all this. Instead of the somewhat more even demeanor I've adopted over the last year or so, I was all kinds of erratic again. I'm working on the tools to keep myself more even, without losing the ability to feel.
We are almost ready to put on Andrew's production of As You Like It at the theater. He should be super proud of it. It's beautiful and there will certainly be photos of that. It's themed after Van Gogh, and M is playing Jaques as Van Gogh. It's gonna be awesome.
He didn't get the same theater job he didn't get last year again. We found out today. Getting pretty sick of the bureaucracy related to work and staying alive.
I think that roughly sums it up for now. Perhaps a more targeted post about one topic or another will follow soon. :)
Firstly, I got hurt at work, in a way that was fairly minor, but was quite important. I dropped a mobile access point and I got my hand caught between it and the rail of the basket where I work. M was there. He kept me from passing out. There was a lot of blood. It's been about 6 weeks and the finger has finally healed. I was able to go without official medical treatment but I was able to discern that the bone was cracked. It's just about better now, although it's got a gnarly bump on the side of my finger.
About a week after that, and almost certainly due to being blatantly obvious, the fact that M and I are in an unconventional relationship came out to our whole crew. It was surprisingly not super terrible although definitely not how I would have liked that to go. I find not caring what anyone thinks about me is helpful to being okay at work, but there are other relationships to maintain at work where respect has to be upheld to be successful. I have some more on that in a few. But first!
Andrew had a brief interlude of romance with a friend of ours. It was somewhat of a poly practice session for us both. They didn't consummate their feelings fully, but essentially I could see that there was a valid connection there. Problem was I was sort of stuck in my home without being a part of that, and feeling like I was inhibiting their ability to address their feels, whatever they ended up being. So I made the executive decision to let them know how I felt, and to stay somewhere else on her last night in town. I did this without ire, and with encouragement. I was nervous and I wasn't necessarily ready for him to spend the night with her while I was in the same house, but also I knew she was going home and they wouldn't get that opportunity again soon. I know how important that can be. I had not ever gotten to spend a night with M in my whole relationship with him, and I wanted to afford the opportunity I had not had, without my processing getting in the way.
So I asked S (M's wife. Yes. They're S&M) if I could stay with them. Not in a romantic capacity, but in the capacity of a comfortable place to stay, with someone heading to the same job as me in the morning. They let me come over and stay in their guest room and it was wonderful. I felt like it was a good moment. IT was 4th of July, so we watched fireworks and after that I went to bed comfortably and safely. I was able to show vulnerability, and treat their house like home. She and I have been making great strides in communicating and bonding and it's been really good, at least from my perspective. Seems to be from hers as well.
Moving on... So M and I no longer work together! He changed jobs to a job much more suited to him, that's in his career path in the same company. It's not at the same mine though, so his daily commute is different and he gets his own company truck. I'm pretty concerned that he's not going to make the time for me that he promises he will, but I'm trying to be open and just see what he does rather than assuming either direction. The job is exciting, and it's alleviated a little bit of the stress and side-eyes from our co-workers.
Last weekend was the first since we have not worked together. I spent a lot of time mourning that change. I cried on our last bus ride together, and on our last drive out together. Our relationship was initially founded on that commute and we've always shared that as a common aspect of our lives since knowing each other, and. Now we don't. It was a good change, and a change that needed to happen, but it was still hard.
They (S&M) ended up having a party that weekend that they had been planning for quite some time, and it was very fun. Elegant hats, and cigars and nice drinks, and a fire pit in the yard. The turnout was a good bunch of folks and it was a good time. I ended up asking if I could spend the night again, assuming their guest room. Well, to sum up I ended up spending the night in their room instead. No funny business. Just cuddles. It was great. I didn't feel like I was getting in the way of them, and I finally got to spend a night next to M. I think the world needs more good quality cuddle piles, honestly.
Hmm... What else what else... Oh yes. Emotional roller coasters (largely for the above reasons). I lost a lot of my cool during all this. Instead of the somewhat more even demeanor I've adopted over the last year or so, I was all kinds of erratic again. I'm working on the tools to keep myself more even, without losing the ability to feel.
We are almost ready to put on Andrew's production of As You Like It at the theater. He should be super proud of it. It's beautiful and there will certainly be photos of that. It's themed after Van Gogh, and M is playing Jaques as Van Gogh. It's gonna be awesome.
He didn't get the same theater job he didn't get last year again. We found out today. Getting pretty sick of the bureaucracy related to work and staying alive.
I think that roughly sums it up for now. Perhaps a more targeted post about one topic or another will follow soon. :)