(no subject)
well this has been a ok week for me, i worked alot on papers due. I went to all my classes and made bet with steve hogans that i would pass my classes too. I have been complaining alot which i always do. But it seems sometimes that things are so hard that i cannot pull through. But i know now that i have difted from jesus. Then chylns story kinda woke me up knowing that he can reach us. We just have to decide that we actually need him. When all my troubles overtake me i stand alone breathing. losing all my breath wondering why is life so hard. The suddenly i find myself thinking about things as i tent to do outside looking at the stars. Talking to myself trying to figure out what i should do to make me feel the happiness i long to feel. However, i have noticed that i am like a pill-popper relying on a false thing to make me ill. It appears as if this battle i am fighting alone is all in my mind. So amy walker gives me a book called "battlefield of the mind". I am currently reading this book for a devotional time which i must start. If i am to erase all this hate and pain that dwells in my heart. I have to let god take me apart. I need to get back invovled with a church. That seems to be a good way to let go of all my hurt. However, as the tables turn and i realize more and more how much of a fight this new life shall be. I have to erase all the memories that have overtaken me. I am working on alot of things about my self so that i may be able to do the will that god has in store for me. But still i worry. because as of now i am not fit to serve my creator. try to solve this equation looking for the common demoinator. Sernity peace wisdom knowledge is what i seek. So why am i at college rejecting these things as i dare speak. My selfish old ways of complaining and negitive thought i assume. Well as i fight i pray for my friends and there hearts as i try and change mine soon.