(no subject)
Ok! No! I changed my mind! (Damn Bi-polar) But I'm NOT sorry for acting the way I have been! I refuse to be sorry! Fuck that! I was saying I was sorry to please people. But I'm done with that. Because I may be stressed as all hell, but at least I have a passion for something. I pitty anybody who has never loved something so much that they are willing to be stressed for days, maybe weeks over it. Because I love something that much that no matter how stressed I get I still love it. And the stress makes me work that much harder at it. And if you've never felt that way before, then I'm sorry you're alive all together. Because life aint worth living if you have nothing to love that much. And I have about 3 things I love. Ill give you one, for just one minnute of your understanding. But dont crusify me for having this passion. Maybe one day you'll understand. Because I know people who do understand. And people who honestly care Im stressed, even if they cant help it. Because the people who can understand it are the people who really mean anything anyways. Like Emily, I've blown up on her multiple times in the last few weeks. Because I know she cares. You always take shit out on the ones you care about most.And she always sees that I dont mean it. She Always knows its blowing off steam, and I know this about her. And only thoes people matter to me. Only the people who are truly adult enough to understand that. Or maybe me and Emily are just to close. One way or the other then ONLY thing I am sorry for is anyone who dosent understand, and the way I went about shit. I know it was out of anger and I hate that I felt that way, but hey...Welcome to hormones and bi-polar, and just pressure all together!! Shit happenes. Let it go. I have this far! If we were all more understanding I think we could go farther. Im gonna serisoly take up this hippie-ass ritual you could call it.
I love you all. No matter how many times I flip my lid, or how stressed I get. How angry and pissed off I may seem. You all mean something to me. Something that helps to mold me into who I am. I am greatful for every person who I cross paths with. I only hope that you feel the same way about me. And forgive me for my flaws, because underneath all of the shit I deal with, and walls I put up to protect myself, Im a good person...I think I truly am.
XxoO
Alyssa Rose