(no subject)
Ick. Today was pretty good with a few rain clouds here and there. First the good things, then the bad.
I had a hott sexx dream last night and woke up MEGA hott.Thats all I can remember about it.
Some new people sat at our lunch tabel. It was Rob.The mother fucker had to start shit with me AGAIN today. Mother of god I am sick of this shit. Emily got on his case about it though. I guess she was annoyed with him cuzz he was acting like a fucking 5 year old. And not in the funny/cute way either. More of the obnoxus I-wanna-tear-you-limb-for-limb-and-beat-you-senceless-with-them kinda way. And shes not a nice person if shes pissed. So yeah. He was doing shit to piss me off. I mean I know I can be a bitch to the kid and all, for no reason...But all things considered Ive been pretty civil. Compared to what SOME people would have done had he pulled that shit. And he is STILL doing little things to bother me. Like I DONT know what hes doing, and why.
Talked to Moe!Still have like...3-4 days till I see her. But Im spending alot of my weekend with her and thats AWSOME! Its gonna be mad awsome! I cant wait to see my baby again.
Had Show Choir today. Just realised how much I hate it. Somehow I managed to miss THREE practices!? WHAT THE FUCK!? Thats not possible. Maybe 3 OVER ALL but not in a row. TWO at the VERY VERY most. I missed the one last week and thats it. I was told there was none because of Festivle or something. And one I think I couldnt go...No way I missed three. I couldnt have. I asked Frank and he said they didnt have them. So I got moved to the side and he gave the guy who was my partner to Kayla. Im FURIOUS! Plus it was hott as balls, I was PMS-ing. Becky wasnt making ht dance easy for me to learn. Did I mention I have to learn a whole new dance!? Then I find out wait..we may have a partner for you. So I dont know what the fuck Im supposed to be doing here. And Im getting more confused by the second. So I was about to quit there. But I found out Mrs. Benette is threatning to lower grades for it. She told Jenny Holstine she couldnt leave or she would get a lower grade in school! Is that even legal!? Ahhh! I think Jenny should run th show anyways. Tom shouldnt have it till Jenny is gone anyways. Essh. Who cares anymore.
Dyed Jakes go-tee and hair Fish Bowl Blue. It didnt stick in his hair very well. Then we played duck, duck, goose. How odd. I got another saftey belt. Dear god dont let this become trendy to wear a saftey belt! Ill cry. Then Tj we left and came to my house. Went to Em's after Tj met up with us. Eh..Random shit. Then Tj came back over to my house...Heh...Yeah, no more there.
Got real far in the book Im reading and I like it alot. I left it in Show Chior tonight because it wasnt with my stuff. Now I gotta go track it down tomarrow. Maybe Trish picked it up knowing it was mine. Who knows. Maybe its still laying there. I hope it is. Ill cry.
Got grades in my math class. Im pulling a high c and failed my last quiz. Go me.
The toast song was on the raido this morning!Didnt hear the whole thing. And Tj wore his Toast shirt. I love today.
Danny wrote me lots of notes today! To tell me after this year is up he's leaving the school. I wanted to cry. Ill kidnapp him! I swear to Bob, Pete and Frank Im gonna take him and hide him in my closet. Hes not gonna get away! NO NO NO!
Talked to Taco yesterday to get shit straighted out. It sent my head spinning for days. And its still spinning! I get so mind fucked when I talk to him. Its a FLOOD of emotion. Like parts of me still feel the love, remember the good times. Another part is hurt still, and feels fake for pretending Im not anymore, that I hate him...And I dont. Another part feels angry, at him, at me, at her, at the situation. And another feels terrible for feeling this at all. For letting myself get mind fucked. But there is also that little guy chillin in the back like " You know you miss having him to talk to. Just tell him. Hes still THERE for you. You have a bf your happy with and him a GF so him helpping you through shit isnt out of hte question. Stop being so damned stubborn you cant put up a non-chalant sheild forever." And hes right. I cant.But I will damn well try my hardest for as long as I can.
Me and Tj are happy. But hes hard to adjust to. His whole personality is different than that of ANY guy Ive ever dated. I dont know yet how to react to him...How to talk to him. Find his level and mine. I cant figure him out yet. He plays games. Alot of mind games. Not BAD mind games. The kind where he can drive me NUTS sexxualy..and not even have to touch me. Plus on that level hes not givin in. Which is in itself a good thing. One who dont care about sexx. Heh. One in a million that kid. He keeps me sane. We hardly fight wich bring me tension. I hate fighting with him more than I hated fighting with Calvin. Hes so calm all the time. Never seen him worked up. We fought once and it was the WORST thing Id ever experienced. Because the absence of anger, the clear headedness of it all makes me uneasy. I dont know why. But even when I got in his face, or sarcastic and bitchy (You know) he just looked at me. I could see in his eyes he wanted ever so badly to just grab me and slam my head into the lockers and kill me. Then he blinked and he got that glazed-eyed look of someone who was only slightly ticked off. And he just looked at me. So calmly it was almost like he was in tune on some other level that I hadnt yet found. He said "I came here to appologise. The carcasum isnt making this anybetter." Creepy. Woah. Hes a good kid over all though.
Thats all I feel like writing. Im tired and Im going to bed. Much love!
X'z O'z ad whole lotta PLUR!
Alyssa Rose