"In an instant lightning flashes"
The past two days I had been getting these IM's from this random person. I didn't recognize the IM name and the person would always sign off before I could ask who they were. I messages were little nice things like "Happy Birthday" and things about my voice. Well today I was like "I'm sorry, who are you?" and the person emailed me with a picture.
It turned out to be my dad.
I am now still in the shock of a lifetime. I haven't spoken to him, seen him or anything in many years. Apparently he found me on youtube and found my contact info on their.
Talking to him though very awkward, has been surprisingly nice. I'm scared to meet him or talk more and it not be so nice. I have a lot of questions about things that went down when I was younger. He's also made some comments about my sexuality in the past and I know that's an issue waiting to explode.
He wants to get a beer sometime (ew beer)
but yeah. I honestly don't even know how this convo is gonna end let alone if I wanna see him. But I am very grateful that he's making an effort now. I'm glad it's now and not when I was younger. I'm older now and can understand decisions better. I feel like I won't just jump to anger. He's telling me about all these relatives that live in NY or have asked about Mackenzie and I. It's all so weird, like a different side of my life. I'm not really close with extended family members from either parents side of the family, So I'm just like "who??"
I don't know what else to say.
I'm not super happy, sad or angry
I'm too confused to even settle on an extreme emotion
does anxious count?
I'm very anxious to see where all this goes
It turned out to be my dad.
I am now still in the shock of a lifetime. I haven't spoken to him, seen him or anything in many years. Apparently he found me on youtube and found my contact info on their.
Talking to him though very awkward, has been surprisingly nice. I'm scared to meet him or talk more and it not be so nice. I have a lot of questions about things that went down when I was younger. He's also made some comments about my sexuality in the past and I know that's an issue waiting to explode.
He wants to get a beer sometime (ew beer)
but yeah. I honestly don't even know how this convo is gonna end let alone if I wanna see him. But I am very grateful that he's making an effort now. I'm glad it's now and not when I was younger. I'm older now and can understand decisions better. I feel like I won't just jump to anger. He's telling me about all these relatives that live in NY or have asked about Mackenzie and I. It's all so weird, like a different side of my life. I'm not really close with extended family members from either parents side of the family, So I'm just like "who??"
I don't know what else to say.
I'm not super happy, sad or angry
I'm too confused to even settle on an extreme emotion
does anxious count?
I'm very anxious to see where all this goes