(no subject)
well, i spoke to soon. those feelings about going back with Randy are back. it sucks. and its taken all the energy i have to say no to him and no to those feelings. i feel so drained. i didn't know that the pain of saying goodbye to someone you love with all your heart was so great. i've never felt emotional pain like this before, and it's starting to affect me physically. every muscle in my body aches and my head is killing me from thinking so god damn much about all of this shit. i wish it would all just go away.