(no subject)
i'm falling into some some sort of Hypocritical psycho bitch state of mind.
i can't stand it. seeing the nightmare becoming real. losing everything that i've had and wanted. i'm blind from this new reality that i have to face. afraid of what's to come next, afraid of losing, afraid of being alone. this stress is overpowering me, taking over everything, preventing me from seeing. everything is just a huge mess. i can't make up my mind. it's either one or the other. I can't have both. everything can't be perfect and the way i want it to be, i get that. but this is just torture. i'm getting sick because of this. why can't anything just be fuckin' easy.
the one thing i want i can't have. the one thing i want is so far out of reach. the one thing i want i miss more than anything. the one thing i want, want's someone else :(