FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
once again i fucked up another relatioship bcz of what other people wanted me to do. i didn't listen to my gut feeling. i was inlove, i was happy. i felt like i had met someone who meant something to me, meant more to me then anyone else has. i didn't want to lose him. not at all. and now i've lost one of the things that prolly meant the most to me. he was everything. i just had a fit for a night or two and shit just went down. i don't think he'll ever understand what he means to me. i would do just about anything to have him by my side. but now that chance is gone.