(no subject)
Title: The Resident Fuck-Up
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Summary: Part 30 of the Smitten series; Sirius makes a tragic mistake that ruins everything.
Warnings: Depression, angsty situations
Need to catch up? http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2817005/1/ Then refer back to LJ for the pr0n. ^_~
Fifth year went by faster than any of them could have imagined. Remus had panicked over his O.W.L.s, but he did fine on them, managing them in all subjects but Potions. It was no devastation to him. Sirius and James did exceptionally well, and even Peter managed to scrape by with a good share. The summer was relaxed and warm, and during the holidays, Sirius and Remus grew ever closer. “I’ll be with you forever,” Sirius would croon to him every night as they drifted off to sleep, his mouth a soft, warm presence by Remus’s ear, and Remus believed it. Their kitten thrived happily with them, often given extravagant gifts and shown more affection than any human.
When September first rolled around, though, Remus found himself dreading the coming full moon more than he ever had before. He expressed these concerns with Sirius, who would merely snort and hold onto him, lavishing him in kisses and caresses. He always knew how to make Remus feel better. Nevertheless, Remus could not shake the feeling.
The day of, Remus felt sicker than usual, and he kissed Sirius on the cheek that morning as he hauled himself out of bed. “I’m going to go to Pomfrey and rest today, Sirius,” he said quietly, and he smiled as Sirius drew him into his arms and covered his neck in kisses. “Stop it. A morning shag won’t make me feel better, I’m afraid…” His hands laced with Sirius’s, and he turned to kiss his cheek before he closed his eyes. “I love you.”
When Remus was safely tucked away in the Hospital Wing, James and Sirius chose to spend the day outside. It was a Saturday and it was beautiful out by the lake, so they were skipping stones when Snape happened upon them. “Well, well!” Sirius barked, and he turned to throw one of the stones at the slimy git. “Looking for trouble, Snivellus?” The wind outside kicked up around them.
Snape sneered and stalked up to him, giving a shake of his head. “You truly are pathetic, Black. Where’s Lupin? There’s a distinct lack of any decency whatsoever out here…Not that he would do anything about it. He’s a rather terrible Prefect, isn’t he? Once a month he disappears without a trace…Where does he go?”
Sirius was on him in a moment, his wand shaking furiously not an inch from his ugly nose. “You keep your mouth shut about Remus,” he hissed, and he glared daggers into him. “You want to know where he goes every month? Fine. We’re fucking sick of you asking!”
James’s eyes widened. “Sirius, don’t…”
“No, NO! He wants to know, let him find out! Go prod the knot on the Whomping Willow, Snape, and follow the tunnel to the end! THAT’S where he goes every month! Since you’re so fucking in love with him, go see for yourself!” He was yelling into Snape’s face, spit flying from between his lips. “GO! After dusk, then he goes. See for your FUCKING SELF!”
Snape’s eyes widened and he took off running as though they could take the secret back with him, but Sirius caught him. “Levicorpus!” The moment Snivellus was upside-down in midair, he used his wand to fling him out over the lake and drop him in it, snickering. James laughed and gave him a high-five before they headed back towards the castle. “That’s what he gets,” Sirius laughed, his arm thrown around James’s neck. “Maybe Remus’ll kill him…”
James snorted then cleared his throat a little. “You…think this is a good idea? I mean…We should stop him, right?” He looked up into Sirius’s eyes and frowned. “Remus’ll be…really, really pissed off.”
“Nah.” Sirius threw his hair back in the wind and accompanied James to the Great Hall.
Remus lay in the Hospital Wing for a long while by himself, staring out the window. His stomach was hurting. The clock read two pm when Sirius came in to see him. “Hi,” whispered Remus as Sirius drew the curtains around the bed and lay on the bedside with him. His arms reached out to seize Sirius, and he drew him close to kiss him. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a lorry…”
Sirius smiled and stroked his hair. “Lorry or not, you’re still as lickable as ever.” He suddenly was the dog, lying on Remus’s chest and licking him all over his face. Remus laughed and embraced him, knowing that Madam Pomfrey would not come in when she saw the curtains drawn, and he kissed Padfoot on the snout. Sirius slipped his long, flat tongue into Remus’s mouth, causing Remus to splutter, and he pushed him back, glaring as Sirius turned back laughing like mad.
“Damn you, Sirius!” he snarled, but then Sirius had him by the hair and was really kissing him, throwing his leg over him and moaning into his mouth. Remus’s eyes closed and he wrapped his arms up and around his lover. “I love you…love you…” He found himself breathless when Sirius’s lips slid lower, and he shivered when he felt those hands on him. “I wish I felt better…God, I’d fuck you right now…”
Sirius huffed against Remus’s neck then looked up at him. “It’s all right, luv. You can shag me all you’d like tomorrow night…” He laughed when he felt Remus’s cock twitch beneath him at the prospect, and he crawled off of him, sitting up by his pillow. “James and I have to finish our homework so we can come with you tonight…I wish I could stay with you all afternoon.”
“I know,” Remus claimed, and he sat up a bit to give Sirius one last kiss. “Can’t wait to see you again. Have fun with your Charms essay…” He closed his eyes as Sirius kissed behind his ear.
“I will…And hey. Love you, too.” He pressed his lips to Remus’s forehead before he got up and left the Hospital Wing, winking at Remus before he closed the door.
Had he known it was the last happy and in love moment they would spend together for a long, long time, Remus might have never let Sirius leave.
When Snape followed Remus down to the Whomping Willow and crept in after Madam Pomfrey had left, he made it to the end of the tunnel, hearing strange things on the other side of the door, but just as he moved to open it, James caught him and tried to pull him away. “GET THE FUCK OFF ME, POTTER!” he yelled, and he tore from those arms, throwing open the door to the end of the tunnel and coming face-to-face with the most horrifying thing he had ever seen. Sirius slammed the door shut and charmed it so even as Remus threw himself at the door, snarling and clawing, he did not break it open, and Snivellus looked at Sirius in utter disbelief. “You…tried to kill…YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”
James grabbed Snape and dragged him back towards the Whomping Willow, shaking as the nasty Slytherin screeched at Sirius the entire time. They took him up to the castle and to Dumbledore, whose eyes lost their twinkle. Sirius spent the night throwing up in the bathroom.
The next morning, Sirius went to the Hospital Wing, his eyes wide as Madam Pomfrey turned him away. “Remus doesn’t want to see you, Sirius. He will be released later this afternoon…” She had a hint of sadness in her voice, and Sirius could hear Remus sobbing as well as the quiet tones of Dumbledore. Sirius’s eyes welled with tears, and he clasped his hands together.
“Please. Please let me see him, Madam Pomfrey,” he choked, and by some miracle, she broke down. Motioning for him to wait a moment, she disappeared behind Remus’s curtain, returning with Dumbledore a moment later. They left the Hospital Wing together, leaving the boys alone. The moment the door closed, Sirius swallowed hard and went to Remus’s bed, opening the curtain and moving inside. “Remus…”
Remus would not look at him. He did not even lift his face from his hands, which dripped tears. “Get the fuck OUT of here!” he rasped in a thick, deep voice. “I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!” At this, he dropped his hands, and Sirius saw the horrible gashes across his cheeks and nose that had never been there before. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME, SIRIUS!” His cry was guttural, and he hid his face in the blanket.
Sirius felt tears sliding off of his cheeks, and he moved to sit on the bedside. “I-I do, M-Moony. More’n anything, you kn-know that…I…Remus, look at me!” He moved his arms around Remus, eyes widening as Remus pushed him away. He persisted, trying to move close again, but Remus screamed at him and punched him in the face, knocking him clear off the bed.
“Don’t TOUCH ME, GODDAMNIT!” Remus got shakily out of bed and kicked the hell out of Sirius’s shoulder, roaring at him. “DON’T YOU REALIZE WHAT THE FUCK WOULD HAVE HAPPENED? HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU?! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU EVER, EVER AGAIN!”
Sirius yelped when he was kicked, and he stood up, holding his shoulder. “Remus, I’m s-sorry…” His voice sounded so small, and his eyes widened as Remus lurched forward and kissed him roughly on the lips. When Remus drew back, all tears and blotchy cheeks and fury, Sirius swallowed hard and felt as though he were going to die. “Remus?”
“That’s it. That’s IT, Sirius Black! You’d BETTER FUCKING REMEMBER IT BECAUSE WE’RE THROUGH AND I’M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN.” He looked in his eyes and shook his head. “I love you. I love you, but I can’t be with you ever again. Get out,” he half-sobbed, and when Sirius reached for him, he wanted more than anything to fall against him and forgive him. He did not.
That night and for many, many subsequent nights, Remus lay in bed with the curtains drawn, an orange cat lying against his chest with tear-soaked fur. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw their last moments of happiness, saw Sirius lying on top of him and kissing him and laughing. Occasionally, he would forget the Silencing Charm, and Sirius could hear him crying miserably or having nightmares. These nights, he would get out of bed and open Remus’s drapes, and when Remus looked up at him, he would climb into bed with his ex-boyfriend and close the curtains. When the Silencing Charm was cast, they would turn and face one another, but they could never touch more than fingertips. “Will you forgive me, Remus?” Sirius would ask, and Remus would shake his head no.
“No, never.”
And gradually, the nightmares stopped and so did the nights filled with crying or moaning, but Sirius always listened just in case.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Summary: Part 30 of the Smitten series; Sirius makes a tragic mistake that ruins everything.
Warnings: Depression, angsty situations
Need to catch up? http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2817005/1/ Then refer back to LJ for the pr0n. ^_~
Fifth year went by faster than any of them could have imagined. Remus had panicked over his O.W.L.s, but he did fine on them, managing them in all subjects but Potions. It was no devastation to him. Sirius and James did exceptionally well, and even Peter managed to scrape by with a good share. The summer was relaxed and warm, and during the holidays, Sirius and Remus grew ever closer. “I’ll be with you forever,” Sirius would croon to him every night as they drifted off to sleep, his mouth a soft, warm presence by Remus’s ear, and Remus believed it. Their kitten thrived happily with them, often given extravagant gifts and shown more affection than any human.
When September first rolled around, though, Remus found himself dreading the coming full moon more than he ever had before. He expressed these concerns with Sirius, who would merely snort and hold onto him, lavishing him in kisses and caresses. He always knew how to make Remus feel better. Nevertheless, Remus could not shake the feeling.
The day of, Remus felt sicker than usual, and he kissed Sirius on the cheek that morning as he hauled himself out of bed. “I’m going to go to Pomfrey and rest today, Sirius,” he said quietly, and he smiled as Sirius drew him into his arms and covered his neck in kisses. “Stop it. A morning shag won’t make me feel better, I’m afraid…” His hands laced with Sirius’s, and he turned to kiss his cheek before he closed his eyes. “I love you.”
When Remus was safely tucked away in the Hospital Wing, James and Sirius chose to spend the day outside. It was a Saturday and it was beautiful out by the lake, so they were skipping stones when Snape happened upon them. “Well, well!” Sirius barked, and he turned to throw one of the stones at the slimy git. “Looking for trouble, Snivellus?” The wind outside kicked up around them.
Snape sneered and stalked up to him, giving a shake of his head. “You truly are pathetic, Black. Where’s Lupin? There’s a distinct lack of any decency whatsoever out here…Not that he would do anything about it. He’s a rather terrible Prefect, isn’t he? Once a month he disappears without a trace…Where does he go?”
Sirius was on him in a moment, his wand shaking furiously not an inch from his ugly nose. “You keep your mouth shut about Remus,” he hissed, and he glared daggers into him. “You want to know where he goes every month? Fine. We’re fucking sick of you asking!”
James’s eyes widened. “Sirius, don’t…”
“No, NO! He wants to know, let him find out! Go prod the knot on the Whomping Willow, Snape, and follow the tunnel to the end! THAT’S where he goes every month! Since you’re so fucking in love with him, go see for yourself!” He was yelling into Snape’s face, spit flying from between his lips. “GO! After dusk, then he goes. See for your FUCKING SELF!”
Snape’s eyes widened and he took off running as though they could take the secret back with him, but Sirius caught him. “Levicorpus!” The moment Snivellus was upside-down in midair, he used his wand to fling him out over the lake and drop him in it, snickering. James laughed and gave him a high-five before they headed back towards the castle. “That’s what he gets,” Sirius laughed, his arm thrown around James’s neck. “Maybe Remus’ll kill him…”
James snorted then cleared his throat a little. “You…think this is a good idea? I mean…We should stop him, right?” He looked up into Sirius’s eyes and frowned. “Remus’ll be…really, really pissed off.”
“Nah.” Sirius threw his hair back in the wind and accompanied James to the Great Hall.
Remus lay in the Hospital Wing for a long while by himself, staring out the window. His stomach was hurting. The clock read two pm when Sirius came in to see him. “Hi,” whispered Remus as Sirius drew the curtains around the bed and lay on the bedside with him. His arms reached out to seize Sirius, and he drew him close to kiss him. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a lorry…”
Sirius smiled and stroked his hair. “Lorry or not, you’re still as lickable as ever.” He suddenly was the dog, lying on Remus’s chest and licking him all over his face. Remus laughed and embraced him, knowing that Madam Pomfrey would not come in when she saw the curtains drawn, and he kissed Padfoot on the snout. Sirius slipped his long, flat tongue into Remus’s mouth, causing Remus to splutter, and he pushed him back, glaring as Sirius turned back laughing like mad.
“Damn you, Sirius!” he snarled, but then Sirius had him by the hair and was really kissing him, throwing his leg over him and moaning into his mouth. Remus’s eyes closed and he wrapped his arms up and around his lover. “I love you…love you…” He found himself breathless when Sirius’s lips slid lower, and he shivered when he felt those hands on him. “I wish I felt better…God, I’d fuck you right now…”
Sirius huffed against Remus’s neck then looked up at him. “It’s all right, luv. You can shag me all you’d like tomorrow night…” He laughed when he felt Remus’s cock twitch beneath him at the prospect, and he crawled off of him, sitting up by his pillow. “James and I have to finish our homework so we can come with you tonight…I wish I could stay with you all afternoon.”
“I know,” Remus claimed, and he sat up a bit to give Sirius one last kiss. “Can’t wait to see you again. Have fun with your Charms essay…” He closed his eyes as Sirius kissed behind his ear.
“I will…And hey. Love you, too.” He pressed his lips to Remus’s forehead before he got up and left the Hospital Wing, winking at Remus before he closed the door.
Had he known it was the last happy and in love moment they would spend together for a long, long time, Remus might have never let Sirius leave.
When Snape followed Remus down to the Whomping Willow and crept in after Madam Pomfrey had left, he made it to the end of the tunnel, hearing strange things on the other side of the door, but just as he moved to open it, James caught him and tried to pull him away. “GET THE FUCK OFF ME, POTTER!” he yelled, and he tore from those arms, throwing open the door to the end of the tunnel and coming face-to-face with the most horrifying thing he had ever seen. Sirius slammed the door shut and charmed it so even as Remus threw himself at the door, snarling and clawing, he did not break it open, and Snivellus looked at Sirius in utter disbelief. “You…tried to kill…YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”
James grabbed Snape and dragged him back towards the Whomping Willow, shaking as the nasty Slytherin screeched at Sirius the entire time. They took him up to the castle and to Dumbledore, whose eyes lost their twinkle. Sirius spent the night throwing up in the bathroom.
The next morning, Sirius went to the Hospital Wing, his eyes wide as Madam Pomfrey turned him away. “Remus doesn’t want to see you, Sirius. He will be released later this afternoon…” She had a hint of sadness in her voice, and Sirius could hear Remus sobbing as well as the quiet tones of Dumbledore. Sirius’s eyes welled with tears, and he clasped his hands together.
“Please. Please let me see him, Madam Pomfrey,” he choked, and by some miracle, she broke down. Motioning for him to wait a moment, she disappeared behind Remus’s curtain, returning with Dumbledore a moment later. They left the Hospital Wing together, leaving the boys alone. The moment the door closed, Sirius swallowed hard and went to Remus’s bed, opening the curtain and moving inside. “Remus…”
Remus would not look at him. He did not even lift his face from his hands, which dripped tears. “Get the fuck OUT of here!” he rasped in a thick, deep voice. “I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!” At this, he dropped his hands, and Sirius saw the horrible gashes across his cheeks and nose that had never been there before. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME, SIRIUS!” His cry was guttural, and he hid his face in the blanket.
Sirius felt tears sliding off of his cheeks, and he moved to sit on the bedside. “I-I do, M-Moony. More’n anything, you kn-know that…I…Remus, look at me!” He moved his arms around Remus, eyes widening as Remus pushed him away. He persisted, trying to move close again, but Remus screamed at him and punched him in the face, knocking him clear off the bed.
“Don’t TOUCH ME, GODDAMNIT!” Remus got shakily out of bed and kicked the hell out of Sirius’s shoulder, roaring at him. “DON’T YOU REALIZE WHAT THE FUCK WOULD HAVE HAPPENED? HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU?! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU EVER, EVER AGAIN!”
Sirius yelped when he was kicked, and he stood up, holding his shoulder. “Remus, I’m s-sorry…” His voice sounded so small, and his eyes widened as Remus lurched forward and kissed him roughly on the lips. When Remus drew back, all tears and blotchy cheeks and fury, Sirius swallowed hard and felt as though he were going to die. “Remus?”
“That’s it. That’s IT, Sirius Black! You’d BETTER FUCKING REMEMBER IT BECAUSE WE’RE THROUGH AND I’M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN.” He looked in his eyes and shook his head. “I love you. I love you, but I can’t be with you ever again. Get out,” he half-sobbed, and when Sirius reached for him, he wanted more than anything to fall against him and forgive him. He did not.
That night and for many, many subsequent nights, Remus lay in bed with the curtains drawn, an orange cat lying against his chest with tear-soaked fur. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw their last moments of happiness, saw Sirius lying on top of him and kissing him and laughing. Occasionally, he would forget the Silencing Charm, and Sirius could hear him crying miserably or having nightmares. These nights, he would get out of bed and open Remus’s drapes, and when Remus looked up at him, he would climb into bed with his ex-boyfriend and close the curtains. When the Silencing Charm was cast, they would turn and face one another, but they could never touch more than fingertips. “Will you forgive me, Remus?” Sirius would ask, and Remus would shake his head no.
“No, never.”
And gradually, the nightmares stopped and so did the nights filled with crying or moaning, but Sirius always listened just in case.