for maybe a whole week,
i was so independent from the computer. it was beautiful, and i didn't even notice it happening. then i came back. it will probably mostly always be that way, unless i find a way to keep myself constantly occupied.
i am telling myself right here, right now, that i am going to spend a lot of time on piano and maybe even violin this summer (and hopefully, bass). i cannot keep fooling myself that i am going to get anywhere by practicing the day before my lesson and then listen to jeff [piano teacher] talk about the plans he has for my success. i have to be so much more immersed.
everytime i am anywhere, these days, i just realize how much i don't know. i don't even know where to begin.
i must stop eating things like cake for awhile.
...i'm going to jake's sister's graduation party tomorrow.
i must stop eating things like cake for awhile starting monday.
(that is always how things like that go)
i'm so used to summer being this intangible feeling, this distant goal that is the answer to everything at the same time, the ability to do everything at once and the drive to do everything at once. i don't know if i like actually being in it and knowing that i have to start somewhere and not knowing what i want it to be.
i was very pleased at some of my yearbook entries (i read them all last night while watching the "so you think you can dance" i recorded on wednesday, which was actually just the same as the episode that aired on thursday, which i watched already) (so i actually changed it to seinfeld) and very disappointed in others. like, not to be mean or anything, but ben roth just rambled on about how it was fun working with me at a factory where the children had no eyebrows (?). it really bothered me that he never said anything about the actual year or how he values our friendship or ANYTHING that related to ANYTHING at all. ben is a good kid and i'm not mad or anything, but things like that just puzzle me completely. but other people's blurbs reflected our friendship in the same way i feel about our friendship, which made me very happy and stable and fulfilled and loved and blahblahlah.
i'm going to read things like the great gatsby and catcher in the rye this summer.
goodnight.
i am telling myself right here, right now, that i am going to spend a lot of time on piano and maybe even violin this summer (and hopefully, bass). i cannot keep fooling myself that i am going to get anywhere by practicing the day before my lesson and then listen to jeff [piano teacher] talk about the plans he has for my success. i have to be so much more immersed.
everytime i am anywhere, these days, i just realize how much i don't know. i don't even know where to begin.
i must stop eating things like cake for awhile.
...i'm going to jake's sister's graduation party tomorrow.
i must stop eating things like cake for awhile starting monday.
(that is always how things like that go)
i'm so used to summer being this intangible feeling, this distant goal that is the answer to everything at the same time, the ability to do everything at once and the drive to do everything at once. i don't know if i like actually being in it and knowing that i have to start somewhere and not knowing what i want it to be.
i was very pleased at some of my yearbook entries (i read them all last night while watching the "so you think you can dance" i recorded on wednesday, which was actually just the same as the episode that aired on thursday, which i watched already) (so i actually changed it to seinfeld) and very disappointed in others. like, not to be mean or anything, but ben roth just rambled on about how it was fun working with me at a factory where the children had no eyebrows (?). it really bothered me that he never said anything about the actual year or how he values our friendship or ANYTHING that related to ANYTHING at all. ben is a good kid and i'm not mad or anything, but things like that just puzzle me completely. but other people's blurbs reflected our friendship in the same way i feel about our friendship, which made me very happy and stable and fulfilled and loved and blahblahlah.
i'm going to read things like the great gatsby and catcher in the rye this summer.
goodnight.