geez;
i have been having THE WEIRDEST dreams lately. slight details are just so incorrect that i don't know what to do with them. and i guess it isn't so much that i have been having weird dreams as that i have been remembering them vividly. this only started in the summer; i can never describe my dreams to people otherwise. perhaps stress and being busy has to do with not remembering dreams.
anyway, so i have this new myspace picture where i'm looking out a window [it's all i ever do :)] and last night i dreamt that someone posted a comment about it saying "your reflection is so pretty". and i knew that there were only like 2 centimeters of my reflection in the actual picture, so i got a bit confused i looked back at the picture and it was a crappier version of my actual picture, all blurry and i was looking a different direction and i looked really pale and weird. so then i clicked "refresh" cause i thought that i would get my real picture back, and it just changed to another one, and i realized that this was not me. it was some asian person. so then i clicked refresh again, and there was this picture of the same asian person in a sailing outfit, and i began to freak out. but just then, someone commented this picture and said "oh my gosh leah you're so pretty" and i was like WHAT IS HAPPENING, don't these people see that my pictures are not me? and then the next time i clicked refresh, all of my pictures were gone and replaced with this weird person.
that's all i remember.
i don't think it's significant, like "people don't know the real me" or something like that. just freaking weird.
and then i dreamt a couple days ago that my mom had another baby and he looked remarkably like sam and he could walk, though he was one week old, and
then two nights ago, i had a dream that this guy in a hotel room [there were two other people there too, i don't know what they were doing] tried to rape me and he locked the door and started walking toward me and so i kicked him in the left thigh [see this is the type of detail that i have just accepted all along until today, when i realize that it's very nonsensical. i don't even remembering aiming for his nuts and missing or anything] and i unlocked the door and ran and ran and locked myself in someone else's bathroom, i don't know how i got in. so i waited and waited and waited and then people got me a long time later and then someone said that right after i had left, the guy had had a seizure and died.
so the weird thing was that even though he had tried to rape me [which i told everyone about, i guess, before i knew that he died], he had died and it seemed like an awful thing to focus on right at his death. so we buried him and everything and the funeral was really strained [haha, i think it was on the lawn of the hotel?] because everyone was thinking "how could he try and rape this girl" but at the same time they had loved him for his entire life and this was the time for them to celebrate what a wonderful person he had been. it felt wrong to blame him.
anyway.
haha, i think it's really ironic; last night jake kept saying he was going to call [today] to tell me whether he would be riding his bike over to my house and i would ride back with him to his house, or whether he would pick me up in his mom's car. and i kept saying that he should just show up, that it really was an unnecessary phone call, but finally i gave in cause it wasn't that big of a deal. but then around 11:00 today a PHONE woke me UP and i couldn't get back to sleep and sam came in my room and told me it was jake but that they couldn't pick it up in time and so i called him back and told him how "angry i was" with him [though i was laughing the whole time] and how the fact that he made this unnecessary phone call woke me up from a very deep sleep.
those sort of things just kill me. :) .. i just finished the catcher in the rye a couple of days ago and if you have read it that is just something that holton would say. haha it just sort of came out of me, too.
i loved that book very much. especially the quote:
"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."
i think it can have its relations to many things.
i'm going to go eat.
good day, my dears.
anyway, so i have this new myspace picture where i'm looking out a window [it's all i ever do :)] and last night i dreamt that someone posted a comment about it saying "your reflection is so pretty". and i knew that there were only like 2 centimeters of my reflection in the actual picture, so i got a bit confused i looked back at the picture and it was a crappier version of my actual picture, all blurry and i was looking a different direction and i looked really pale and weird. so then i clicked "refresh" cause i thought that i would get my real picture back, and it just changed to another one, and i realized that this was not me. it was some asian person. so then i clicked refresh again, and there was this picture of the same asian person in a sailing outfit, and i began to freak out. but just then, someone commented this picture and said "oh my gosh leah you're so pretty" and i was like WHAT IS HAPPENING, don't these people see that my pictures are not me? and then the next time i clicked refresh, all of my pictures were gone and replaced with this weird person.
that's all i remember.
i don't think it's significant, like "people don't know the real me" or something like that. just freaking weird.
and then i dreamt a couple days ago that my mom had another baby and he looked remarkably like sam and he could walk, though he was one week old, and
then two nights ago, i had a dream that this guy in a hotel room [there were two other people there too, i don't know what they were doing] tried to rape me and he locked the door and started walking toward me and so i kicked him in the left thigh [see this is the type of detail that i have just accepted all along until today, when i realize that it's very nonsensical. i don't even remembering aiming for his nuts and missing or anything] and i unlocked the door and ran and ran and locked myself in someone else's bathroom, i don't know how i got in. so i waited and waited and waited and then people got me a long time later and then someone said that right after i had left, the guy had had a seizure and died.
so the weird thing was that even though he had tried to rape me [which i told everyone about, i guess, before i knew that he died], he had died and it seemed like an awful thing to focus on right at his death. so we buried him and everything and the funeral was really strained [haha, i think it was on the lawn of the hotel?] because everyone was thinking "how could he try and rape this girl" but at the same time they had loved him for his entire life and this was the time for them to celebrate what a wonderful person he had been. it felt wrong to blame him.
anyway.
haha, i think it's really ironic; last night jake kept saying he was going to call [today] to tell me whether he would be riding his bike over to my house and i would ride back with him to his house, or whether he would pick me up in his mom's car. and i kept saying that he should just show up, that it really was an unnecessary phone call, but finally i gave in cause it wasn't that big of a deal. but then around 11:00 today a PHONE woke me UP and i couldn't get back to sleep and sam came in my room and told me it was jake but that they couldn't pick it up in time and so i called him back and told him how "angry i was" with him [though i was laughing the whole time] and how the fact that he made this unnecessary phone call woke me up from a very deep sleep.
those sort of things just kill me. :) .. i just finished the catcher in the rye a couple of days ago and if you have read it that is just something that holton would say. haha it just sort of came out of me, too.
i loved that book very much. especially the quote:
"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."
i think it can have its relations to many things.
i'm going to go eat.
good day, my dears.