Makeshift [Part 3]
Rating: R / NC-17 (for content)
Eunsook / Minho
Genre: Romance
Words: *sings* Moooooore words than plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanned.
Note: Okay, serious moment here. Just so you know I'd always planned to take it in this direction. Kind of explores life and both sides of an argument without demeaning or belittling either sides argument. So uh, yeah? But there IS happy. Sorry (._.)
Note: Gwiboon and Jonghyun DON'T act like children in this one ^_^
Next comes the crucible…
Eunsook looked at the number of boxes littering her office floor and inwardly groaned. The files from her newly assigned case had been delivered and there was at least three times the amount of paperwork than she expected. She circled her desk and kicked a box out of the way so she could pull her chair back, ignoring the flutters of papers as she did so. She was just turning on her computer when her assistant stuck her head in the door, a knowing smile on her face.
“You have a visitor, a Kwon Stephanie and she is without.”
“I should have never given you those books. ‘She is without?’ Really?” Eunsook rolled her eyes and chuckled at the woman. “And the reason for this unexpected visit?”
“She didn’t say much, but something along the lines of a civil case you’re working on.”
That caused Eunsook to raise her brow in question, wondering which case and what information she could have. All of Eunsook’s current cases were on the verge of being closed. But, anything was possible; it wouldn’t hurt to talk to her. “Alright, send her in for me, okay?”
Yes, my lady. Thou shalt verily-”
“GET OUT SunYoung!” Eunsook said laughing uproariously at the younger woman. SunYoung smiled brightly at the woman, dropping off a few case files she’d forgotten earlier before walking out. Soon she returned with the visitor.
Eunsook gave the woman an appraising sweeping gaze as she entered her office. Tall, a whole head taller than Eunsook, with long silken spun hair that hung down in auburn waves past her shoulders and down her back. Her face was lovely enough, heart shaped profile, sparkling brown eyes, and lips quirked in a small smirk as she stared back at Eunsook.
She stood and bowed to the lady who graced her with an upturned brow. “Good morning, Ms. Kwon. I hope you’re doing well. I’m Lee Eunso-“
“Yes, I know who you are.” She moved to the set of chairs reserved for clients in front of Eunsook’s sleek cherry wood desk. The woman, Stephanie, ran a finger across the surface of the desk and held her finger up to inspect it. She then graced Eunsook with a tight smile as she sat back with her arms across her chest. “I came here to find out if you knew who I was.”
Eunsook frowned. “My assistant said you are here in regards to a civil case? Do you have some kind of connection or…”
“You can call it a civil case, of sorts.”
Eunsook blinked, regarding the woman with a bemused grimace, her patience running unusually thin. “I don’t mean to be rude, Ms. Kwon, but I do have other clients to see today as well as some personal matters to attend to. So if you could please actually state how I can-
The taller of the two women’s narrow eyes gleamed at her, unkind and surreptitious. “How well do you know Choi Minho?”
“He is a colleague, Ms. Kwon.” Eunsook tipped her head to the side innocently, politely smiling at the woman, when she wanted to haul the wench up by her long stringy hair and escort her out of her office. But she stayed put, one half of her telling her that she really needed to hear this, while another part was telling her was better off. She ignored the one out to protect her, and listened to the curiosity poking at her sides.
“Then you wouldn’t know that Minho spent the night with me last night.”
Every word smacked Eunsook across the face, hard. It was a cold sort of shock, although if she was going to be honest with herself, surprise wasn’t the first word she could use to describe her feelings. Because if she was going to be honest with herself, if she were to take an inventory of feelings and weight them against reality, she had a firm stock in the truth of the situation. She wasn’t a young naive girl, nor had she been foolish enough to invest any connection with Minho outside of superficial. Her appetite for him was feral and of the flesh. Or at least that’s what she screamed inside of her heart when the foolish thing laughed at her self-deluded assumptions. She had learned a long time ago how important it was to disconnect the pool of desire between her legs and the stupid emotive contraption she called a heart. And she was trying her hardest to cut the lines that envisioned Minho moving deeply in her; both her body and soul.
What really got to her was being lied too. To have her routine uprooted and pushed to the side. He’d told her that he needed to rearrange their meet up; that a client had shown up and he had to deal with that. Stephanie didn’t look like a client, and she damn sure didn’t behave like she was in the need of Minho’s services, legally speaking. Eunsook had come to enjoy spending time with him, but she wasn’t going to be treated like a thing, something he could pencil in when he felt like it, and erased only to have something penned in over her space. That’s what shocked her. That she was replaceable. Moving a hand over her stomach, she felt the first slice of pain.
Jesus Christ, she kept forgetting she was pregnant with his child. It’d only been a week, but the feeling was still suppressed; she didn’t know how to deal with it and him. This, long legs incased in a flirty dress and pink painted lips and cunning eyes, had only served to confuse her more. Still as soon as the words left the woman’s mouth, Eunsook forced herself to smile.
“I’m not exactly sure why that concerns me, Ms. Kwon, but I think you have the wrong office. Whatever type of dealings you have with Minho, that’s your own business. So if you are here to flaunt or brag, I’m going to have to tell you, and as much as it pains me to do so, that I simply do not care what sort of relationship you have with him, and what you two decide to do with your free time is on you. I’m a very busy woman and if you aren’t here in need of my services, I’m going to have to ask you to take your silly gossip to a woman with time on her hands.”
She stood, and motioned towards the door. “You are excused.”
Stephanie barley had the right of mind to hide the snarl that curled her upper lip, angrily grabbing at her purse and stomping towards the door. She wrapped a hand around the polished handle, but not before turning back towards Eunsook. “Don’t think that I was fooled by your little speech. Stay away from him.”
“Good day, Ms. Kwon.”
As the door closed, slammed closed was more like it, Eunsook flopped to her seat, rubbing at the pang of pain behind her eyes, a migraine looming. She moved to lay her head on the flat surface before she heard the door opening again. Eunsook growled, her fist clenching under the desk. “I’m pretty sure I said Good Day, Ms...”
“Well that confirms my suspicions. I could smell that overpriced yet appalling trail of perfume from down the hall.”
Eunsook’s head snapped up, which she regretted as the pain sharpened with her sudden movement. Wincing, she looked to see Kim Gwiboon standing in her office doorway with a hand on her hip. She had on what looked to be a very expensive, yet impeccable tweed two piece suit, a string of pearls across her neck and a pair of dainty taffy grey booties adorned her feet. She looked impressive and informidable, especially with the ever present smirk Gwiboon was famous for. “Ms. Kim! What are you doing here?”
“Social visit!” The woman eagerly sauntered to the exact chair that the cause of her migraine had just vacated, plopping down in a whiff of fragrance. “I know you’re my husband’s lawyer and all, and I wouldn’t have come by, but I saw that…woman and had to see if you were okay.”
“You know her?”
Gwiboon scoffed. “Who doesn’t? Heiress. Took over daddy’s airline business in Incheon. She deserves it; she’s a hard woman to compete with. She’s used to getting her way and has a problem stopping, even if it doesn’t look like there is a win in it for her. That’s her problem and that’s why she has more enemies than allies. She and I…aren’t friends. To be honest, I can’t stand her.”
Eunsook smiled at the energetic yet assertive woman. She liked Gwiboon, she really did. Although pushy in nature and a bit loud for her taste, she enjoyed her lively presence and how she could make Jonghyun stand at attention, bend over backwards, and just about any rare body contortion she could think of. She’d known Jonghyun for a few years, nothing too personal, just a few encounters, but Gwiboon’s reputation preceded her, and she knew enough about the woman before Jonghyun even mentioned the divorce.
She’d blazed her own way after receiving her degree abroad in Paris, fashion capital of the world, as the go to woman in Fashion Presentation and Exhibition. If you had a window to dress, or a runway show that needed to make jaws drop and drool, Kim Gwiboon was the first name you thought of.
“So, a social visit? Of what variety?”
Gwiboon eyes lit up in a most cunning way before reaching into her purse and pulled out a clear vial, a rustic looking sticker wrapped around its circumference.
“Emeterol.” Gwibbon said simply as she placed the bottle in Eunsook’s hand.
Eunsook wracked her brain over and over again, knowing the word sounded familiar. Then she blinked in recognition and paled. “This is for…”
“Morning sickness. Except for this is an all natural, all holistic remedy, completely backed by the KFDA so you don’t have to worry, it’s completely safe for pregnancy.”
Eunsook’s jaw went slack as her gaze went from the bottle in her hand and the woman smiling like a cat who caught the mouse in front of her. “H-how did you…” She closed her eyes as one name came to mind. “Taeyeon told you didn’t she?”
“You mean that absolutely adorable legal clerk from the seventh floor? Heaven’s no! She’s a strange one. Every time I try to talk to her she turns and walks in the opposite direction. It could be that I tried to kidnap her, once. But I only wanted to take her shopping. She should be thanking me!”
Eunsook opened her mouth but closed it, not really knowing what to say.
Gwiboon patted her hand knowingly before standing. “Men are dense, while we women happen not to be. That’s how I know.” She shrugged. “Details, I’m very good at them.” Gwiboon wanted to laugh at the woman’s face, but she refrained, hiding her chuckle behind her hand. She winked at Eunsook. “Relax. Secret is safe with me. Nine months from now I can go ‘Hey Jonghyun, guess who knew first.’ That’ll kill his Mr. Exclusive ego in a heartbeat.”
She bowed and turned to leave, opening the door. “And don’t worry about Stephanie. She’s naturally idiotic and repulsive, anything she said you believe the opposite of. That’s how I’ve always regarded her.” She waved and left.
Eunsook watched Gwiboon leave, a layer of confusion clouding her eyes, her lips pursed in thought. She went to lay her head down again, when she heard a female voice clear its throat. “For the love of God…”
“Not God, just me.” Taeyeon smiled brightly before grabbing Eunsook coat and keys. “C’mon, let’s get outta here. That Gwiboon woman is around here somewhere. I can smell her. I heard there was a sale and I don’t want to be a part of her megalomaniac conquest to rearrange my entire wardrobe.”
---
“Calm down.”
“YOU calm down.” Eunsook looked around the doctor’s office, to all of her degrees and plaques and did feel herself calming down, but only marginally. “Where is she? I feel like I’m going to piss my pants. Look at my hand Taeyeon. It’s shaking. I am a fountain of calm nerves and reasonable thinking.” She stood up abruptly, and began pacing up and down the length of the large back room of the Obstetrics office. “I AM A FOUNTAIN OF CALM NERVES AND REASONABLE THINKING, TAEYEON. I SHOULD NOT BE-“
Taeyeon reached into her purse, extracting an envelope and shoving it in Eunsook’s face. “I would say pick up a book to distract yourself, but this office is brimming with ‘What To Do When You’re Expecting’ literature and I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t shortlist anything you’re doing right now. Like panicking. ” When Eunsook didn’t grab the envelope, she waved it impatiently. “Read it.”
Eunsook snatched it out of her hands, scowling at the woman. She sat down as she ran her finger under the seal of the letter. “What is this?”
Taeyeon shrugged. “Something the big wigs handed to me this morning. Told me to deliver it to you first thing. But priorities and such.” She said, gesturing vaguely to the office.
She looked at the envelope again before, pulling the letter out of the sleeve. She ran over the first set of lines, using the words as a distraction as Taeyeon suggested. Then she read a sentence in particular, paused and re-read it. “Tae...”
Before she could get the words out, the large door to the office opened up, a smiling slightly older woman walking through. “Hello Ms. Lee, I’m Dr. SoonKyu, how are you today?”
“Slightly neurotic, but I’m sure that’s normal.” She glared at Taeyeon before the doctor shook her hand as well.
SoonKyu nodded and motioned for the two women to sit. “Nervousness is normal. Excuse my language, but you’re not the first woman to lose her collective shit back here.” Eunsook smiled, impressed at how down the earth the doctor was, better than the stick in the mud, impending merchant of death in a lab coat as she’d imagined. “So, let’s get to the good part!” She placed an open folder in front of the two women. “Lee Eunsook, you are four weeks pregnant.”
Eunsook gripped the arms of the chair, rapid tension running through the length of her body, bleeding into the floor, threatening to engulf her. She was pregnant. Sure, the four test she’d taken back to back had given her an inkling, enough for her not to be surprised but having a trained professional confirm it, a woman with a wall full of degrees and there was this cross section of a woman’s womb, and dear god she was going to have a womb.
Then she remembered what was in her hands and she felt a pang resonate, wrestling against the happiness that was trying it’s hardest to peak through her terror eating away at her.
“The next step is to take you back to the exam room for an ultrasound, but first you’ll have to fill out this paperwork. Simple basics about what you want, and how we are going to handle the pregnancy.”
Taeyeon snatched the paperwork out of Eunsook’s hands. “For the most part I can fill it out, Eunsook. Go on. Go look at your child.”
---
“Mr. Choi you have a call on line one, a Dr. SoonKyu from Sunny Obstetrics and Women’s Health.”
Minho looked at his desk phone, bewildered. What the hell would an obstetrics office want with him? He was a Civil Litigation lawyer, and was unfamiliar with medical practice cases. Still he picked up the phone, thanking his assistant as he took the call.
“Choi Minho speaking, how can I help you?”
“Aaah, hello! I’m actually not Dr. SoonKyu but her assistant Im Yoona. Um, reason I’m calling is you were listed here as the emergency contact for Lee Eunsook?”
Minho panicked instantly, jumping from his seat. “What do you mean emergency contact? What happened to Eunsook? Is she okay? She isn’t hurt is she?”
“Aaah, Mr. Choi! You can calm down!” Yoona chuckled warmly. “I didn’t mean to worry you! Like I mentioned you were listed as emergency contact and father of the child, and Ms. Lee forgot her ultrasound pictures and she’s not picking up the phone and she’ll need them for her genetics appointment, and we were wondering if you wanted to come by and pick up the file. Plus there is insurance and-“
Minho interrupted her laundry list of tasks. “Wait. Excuse me. I’m not sure I heard you right. I do know Lee Eunsook but…” he laughed, scratching the back of his head. “She’s not… an ultrasound…Ms. Im, she’s not pregnant.”
Yoona was silent on the other end, frantically reading the paperwork in front of her. Normally they wouldn’t call anyone other than the mother, unless it was stated on the paperwork. And it was. Choi Minho, Father, and all of his contact information. “Um...Mr. Choi…I…Lee Eunsook is pregnant, four weeks to be exact…” She sighed. “I apologize if you’re hearing this from me first. She may not have tol- Hello?” She looked back to the phone to see the other line was dead.
Minho looked around his office for a second, his eyes wide and searching. Then his face started to feel funny, like the corners of his mouth were inching up and his cheeks were rushing hot and he realized it was a smile, a full outrageously bright and glorious smile and by some magic of combustion, some kind of chemical reaction that lit him on fire, he felt the bubbles of laughter make their way up his spine, pulling emotions and feelings along the way until he was sitting on his office floor, hands wrapped around his middle in pure unadulterated laughter.
When his assistant opened up the door, looking at him as if he’d lost his marbles; he sprang up, grabbed her hands and swung her around the office. This only heightened her stark awareness that her boss might be losing his mind, because Minho and laughter only happened on rare occasions, and even on those occasions they still scared her witless. She moved to say just that when he spun her around again and dipped her before laying a nasty sloppy kiss on her forehead.
“Hell is wrong with you?” Victoria said before she snatched herself out of his arms and stood up, wiping confusion and disdain off of her clothing.
He opened his mouth to tell her but then came up short. “Go. I-I...I have to go! I’ve gotta go! Clear my schedule! Tell everyone I’m not here.” When she started to object, he waved his hand, dismissing the thought as he grabbed his suit jacket and briefcase. “No, I’m not here. I’m on a rocket, and I’m in outer space. I don’t exist as far as they are concerned. When they say Choi Minho, you say who, okay?”
Victoria raised her finger to object again but didn’t have the chance as he flew by her and out of his office.
Minho tried his hardest to prevent running full gallop out the main entrance of his building, down the street and into Eunsook’s firm. He ran the several flights of stairs until he was at her floor. Rounding the corner, he burst into her office, only to find it empty. Hands on his knees and his breathing labored, he shook off the disappointment of not seeing her as he tried to catch his breath. He began to pick up his cell phone and dial her number but thought of another idea.
He was going to be a dad. And he didn’t have words; he just had this feeling but no words. Where he wanted to explode and maybe punch someone, then hug them. Just a jumble of confused feelings sitting at the pit of his stomach that made him restless and full of energy, a bundle of nerves and excitement. He was sitting in his car in front of their apartment building, holding the ultrasound pictures in his hands. Dr. SoonKyu had circled where his child lay, nestled safely, protected by Eunsook’s body. Just a speck, no longer than the tip of his finger. It was a life, one he helped create.
Resolving himself, he pressed the up button on the elevator, roses in one hand, a cake in the other. He felt incredibly cheesy and worthless, like this was the best he could offer. She was going to give him a son or a daughter and the best he could do was offer her was flour, eggs and vanilla extract on a pretty platter and some dying flowers. He approached her door, ready to surprise her because, yeah she hadn’t told him yet, but he knew she was just waiting for the right time. Eunsook never did anything without careful planning and analytic consideration.
“One day. Right girl, right situation sort of deal.”
The right situation. Ideally, no this wasn’t the right situation. His relationship with Eunsook was relatively new; he knew her and he liked her a lot. A whole whole lot, but didn’t love usually come before baby? An apartment building, although expensive, wasn’t the ideal setting to raise a child. A house with a yard, a school around the corner, a playground, other kids to play with? Things he never had as a child, cooped up on the top floor of some condo, watching the world play below. But he pushed that aside knowing that all he had to do was come up with a plan. That’s what he’d offer her. A plan.
Transferring the roses under his arm, he raised his hands to knock on the door, but it was slightly ajar. Pushing against the door, he peeked inside, glancing left and right and not seeing anybody. He was about to call out to her when he heard the voices coming from the bedroom.
“We just…we gotta just think, Eunsook. Think.”
“That’s really easy to say. Think. I don’t have time to think. I have three days to accept this. Plus, he’s running around town having his kicks and I’m stuck here making the biggest decision of my life.”
Taeyeon groaned. “You don’t know that for sure. You don’t know anything! You’re just guessing because you’re scared. You should at least speak to JungSoo first, Eunsook. Speak to Minho. You don’t know what will happen.”
Minho heard Eunsook scoff. His interest piqued slightly as he stepped further into her apartment. He rounded into the living room, seeing a glass of wine and a slew of paperwork strewn across Eunsook’s coffee table. He sat the cake and the roses on an end table as quietly as he could. He wasn’t…eavesdropping. He just figured they were having a serious conversation and he didn’t want to interrupt it. He could just leave, but how would he explain the cake and roses, he deducted lamely.
“I don’t have to go to him to find out what kind of answer he’ll give me. Think about Tae. I’m the only, the only female associate in that entire building. I’ve been scrapping and clawing my way up, not on my back, not fluttering my eyes at every male associate and partner in that firm. I did everything I could in my power to prove to them that I was no different from them. That I just as capable and competent to be a part of that firm. But guess what. I AM different. I AM a woman. What am I going to do? Walk in there and go ‘Hey! I accept junior partner, but you know…in my first year, I’m going to need to take off for six weeks because I’m full of human! Not to mention the doctor’s appointments and checkups. Oh! I forgot! Around month five I’m going to look like a walking talking blimp, but that should impress our clients, not send them running off to the first male lawyer they can find.’ No, Tae. I can’t say that.”
Minho turned towards the door in surprise. Junior Partner? She was offered junior partner? He felt a slight strum of pride at her proclamation, associative as it may be. The mother of his child was going to be a junior partner at the biggest law firm in Seoul. Well shit, Eunsook, he thought with a smile.
Something caught his attention, just out of the corner of his eye. He glanced back to Eunsook’s coffee table, zeroing in on a set of matching ultrasound pictures. He reached to pick it up, but as soon as he did, he saw something else. A pamphlet. Grabbing it, he looked back to the bedroom again because he could hear Eunsook pacing the floor. But his attention ebbed back to what was in his hands.
“Parent Advisory Center. Information for Women Considering Abortion.” Minho peered at the pamphlet, slightly confused for a second as he read the front of it over and over again. “Why would she…”
See linear observation wasn’t a strong point for Minho. He needed to see all of the evidence laid before him, bagged and tagged, to get the entire picture. It’s how he operated, it’s how he’s always operated and today was no different. He slowly put the fractures together. Eunsook not telling him about the pregnancy, and not telling him about the doctor’s appointment this morning. The hushed whispers behind the bedroom door about junior partner and needing time to think. Decisions that she would need to make. He slowly closed his eyes as it all came together.
“Eunsook…no.” He whispered. He was frozen to his feet, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe and he damn sure couldn’t think. He was furious, that she would attempt to snatch his joy like this. That she would even consider this without talking to him. He wiped angrily at the sweat collecting on his brow.
The door to Eunsook’s bedroom creaked open, a distraught and overwrought Eunsook walking out with a hand to her temple, obviously stressed by the situation. She just needed some fresh air; somewhere to think and to breathe that didn’t feel like everything was closing in on her. She looked up and saw Minho standing there in the middle of her living room, fury and fear, confusion and sadness taking over his features. She was surprised at first, seeing the roses and the cake on her counter but then she noticed what he had in his hands.
“Minho…what are you…how did you get in?” She drained all the emotion from her face and walked into the kitchen, acting as if there was nothing wrong. “Do you want some coffee?”
“Do I want some…are you serious right now? Do I want some coffee? No, I don’t want any damn coffee! I want you to explain.”
She sighed, looking back at Taeyeon’s face whose had gone pale as she noticed Minho in the living room, too. “Tae, I’ll call you. I need to talk with Minho for a second.” Taeyeon looked up at him and then back at Eunsook before nodding. She kissed the older woman on the cheek before grabbing her purse and walking out. When the door closed, Eunsook crossed the room to take a seat on the couch, rubbing a hand over the taught muscles in the back of her neck before turning to Minho.
“Explain what, Minho?”
Minho threw his hands up incredulously before rounding on her and throwing the pamphlet in her face. “THAT, Eunsook. Explain that.” He reached into his pocket and grabbed his own set of ultrasound pictures and threw those in her lap. “EXPLAIN THAT. Explain all of this shit, Eunsook.” She gasped as she noticed what he had, what he’d seen.
“Jesus…” She ran her fingers over the pictures, seeing in the bottom right hand corner both of their names. “I needed to just…think…”
He ignored her sputtering. “You want to know how I found out? A fucking receptionist called me. I’m typing up legal dispositions and she calls me up like this was old news. But you know what? I was happy. I was so happy and proud and then I come here, wanting to sit you down and tell you and show you exactly how ecstatic I was, and I run across this. It’s enough not to tell me you were pregnant Eunsook. But when were you going to tell me about this, huh? You were just going to get rid of it? Act as if it never happened?”
“It…I just learned today, Minho! God! What do you want from me? I haven’t even had enough time to wrap my head around the fact that I am pregnant, and then they throw this promotion at me and I…”
“Then you should have come to me, Eunsook. ME. There is no way in hell I would let you get an abortion! I would have talked you out of even thinkin-“
Eunsook’s face darkened at his choice of words. It strummed at a very ugly cord at Eunsook’s deep sense of independence. “I don’t need your permission, you asshole!” She spat out, interrupting his rant, his lecture about what he would have done and wouldn’t have allowed. “How dare you! How dare you think you could ever attempt to tell me what I can and cannot do?!”
“It’s my child, Eunsook!”
“And it’s my body, Minho. My body and my future on the line! They offered me junior partner. Do you know what that even means? To be the only woman IN that firm, let alone the sole female partner? And I’m supposed to just give that up? For someone…I haven’t even met yet? That I don’t know? It’s not even a person yet...”
“For fucks sake, do you even HEAR yourself? It’s not a person yet?” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he began to pace the length of her living room. “It’s our child, Eunsook. Our little girl. She’s going to have your eyes and my nose, your lips, and my hair.”
“Minho, stop.”
“She’s going to call you Mommy and me Daddy and want me to teach her how to ride a bike, and she’s going to want you to do her hair. She’ll want you to teach her how to cook, and sing and dance.”
“MINHO. STOP IT.” Eunsook felt the tears breaching the corners of her eyes and flooding down her face. She put her hands over her ears to drown him out. She couldn’t take it, she didn’t want to think anymore, or feel anything. She just wanted things to go back to how they were months ago, when she didn’t know Minho, and his smile and his warmth and how he made her feel. She wanted to go back to where she didn’t feel the joy of conception, the thought of holding a child in her arms and looking down on their face. She wanted it all to go away.
“And she’s going to want you to be there to read her bedtime stories and I’ll have to fight the monsters under the bed and-“
“I SAID STOP! DAMN YOU, STOP!” She reached down and grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on, a vase that sat on coffee table and tossed it at him. It barely missed, him ducking as it flew by his head and slammed into the wall, the flowers in it flying everywhere. He jumped over the coffee table and kicked it out of the way. Minho dropped to his knees and threw his hands around her, ignoring her little fist as they beat against his back. Scooping her up, he stalked to the bedroom. Dropping her on the bed, he straddled her, grabbing both of her hands and throwing them over her head.
“Please Eunsook. Just listen to me for a second, would you? That’s not what I meant. I’d never tell you what to do, when have I ever? I just… I was happy and… I don’t know what to do. Please.”
“I hate you. I hate you and I want you to get out of my house and leave me alone!” She struggled in his grip, furious that he had the upper hand when all she wanted to do is beat the shit out of him. “You have no right to do this to me! None! You should have been the one person I could have depended on to talk to me about this. Not accuse me of murdering a child! You…” She broke down into fevered sobbing, her resistance against Minho’s grip relaxing as she cried. “It was supposed to be you…how could you?”
Minho released her arms, rolling to his side and clutched her towards him desperately. “That’s not what I meant! You didn’t give me a chance to talk to you but I shouldn’t have what I said. ” He wrapped strong arms around her back, stroking her soothingly as she fell apart in his arms. He shushed her, willing her to stop crying so the sobs that wracked her tiny frame would cease. He had hurt her, but he was hurting too, and he didn’t know who to comfort first. But as he felt her trembling, he thought of nothing but her. “Eunsook, baby. Don’t cry. Please.”
But she was still furious as she pushed away from him, kicking and screaming with renewed vigor. He’d bitten at a curious digest of emotion that Eunsook had forgetting she even possessed. She felt vulnerable and desperate, judged. And the sensation that ran cold in her was unfamiliar and frightening, and coupled with the severity of the situation, she lost it. “GET OUT! Get out! Get out! Get out!” She scrambled off the bed hysterically and ran to her bathroom, slamming it shut and locking the door. “Go away! I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hear your voice! Just…go.”
“Eunsook, just…” Minho slinked from the bed to her bathroom door, the defeat sitting on his shoulders weighing his down. “I didn’t mean to…we just need to talk about this…together…” He waited for several minutes, her entire apartment silent as he sat on the other side of the door, the other side of the universe waiting for her to speak, to do something. She was miles away and every second that passed, she traveled further from him, lost to him and his reason. Finally after what felt like hours, he heard her slump against the door, sliding down until she was sitting on the floor.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Minho.” She said quietly, the door separating them by inches. “This is my decision and I’m making it.”
Minho’s eyes fluttered closed as his head lolled back hitting the door. He felt his bottom lip trembling as the tears he’d held back slid down his face in waves. He put his face in his hands and sobbed.
---
Jonghyun looked in the bathroom mirror and straightened his tie, smiling roguishly at his reflection. “Any woman would be a fool not to want you.” He spoke to the mirror, pointing and winking at his handsome visage. Appeased with his appearance, he turned and walked towards the lounge area and took a seat on one of the plush V.I.P couches, calling for a waitress.
“Cognac, please.” The pretty waitress nodded in consent and he watched her go. He tilted his head in appreciation. She was lovely, but she wasn’t as pretty as Gwiboon, he absently thought. Gwiboon had rounder hips and a smaller waist. She smiled prettier too and knew just how much coyness she needed to sprinkle to make him feel young again. Plus, she’d never wear that shade of lipstick with that sort of found-
He sighed and forcibly stopped himself. Throwing his hands out, he proclaimed in a loud voice. “NO THOUGHTS OF GWIBOON. NONE. This is your night, your life! No Gwiboon.” He nodded with a smile, proud of his charge to himself. When the waitress appeared with his drink, he thanked her with a kiss on the hand. Just as his lips hit the soft skin of her knuckles, Jonghyun noticed someone at the bar with his hand firmly around a drink and his face plastered to the bar counter. He squinted and then gasped in recognition.
“Jesus Christ…Minho?” He walked over to the bar and bent his head, getting a better look at him. “Well, I’ll be damned. It is you.” He grabbed Minho’s tie which was currently soaking in a tumbler of vodka, shaking the excess liquor from it. “You look great!” He stated brightly but then he sobered as Minho burped up whiffs of liquor. He fanned at his nose in disgust. “Bad thing is I’m terrible at lying. You look like shit.”
Minho looked up from the position it had taken him thirty minutes to get comfortable in to glare at the man. “Fuck do you want?”
“To bother you of course. Isn’t that obvious?” He took a seat on the plush stool besides him, looking at the rather expensive looking bar counter than Minho was drooling on. “Exactly how many drinks have you had?”
“Not enough.”
Jonghyun raised his cognac in salute. “Here, here to that! Want to make sure someone has to carry out of here, huh? Sure that’s going to do wonders for that roughish reputation of yours.” He fished his cellphone out of his pocket and began dialing numbers. “I’m calling Eunsook to come and drag you out of here.”
Minho laughed bitterly before tipping back his glass, finishing off the vodka that his tie was once resting in. “Not like she would come anyway. I’m not high on her list of priorities right now. Nothing is, except for herself.”
Jonghyun raised an eye at him. “You two are something else, you know? One week you’re barely speaking to each other, thinly veiled tolerance. The next week you’re playing footsies under the table, smiling and giggling like a bunch of love drunken teenagers and the next your back to being mortal enemies.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stay out of it.”
“Oh, please. Spare me the antiquated bullshit. I know how a man looks at a woman he’s in love with. And you’ve been giving her that look for a pretty long time buddy. So, you can sit there and wallow in despair and vodka, or you can tell me what’s got you in here looking like well dressed Bernie Lomax.”
Minho chuckled low and full of sarcasm. “I’m going to be a father. “
Jonghyun sat up straight, beaming down at the intoxicated lawyer. “Oh, man! That’s great! Congratu-“
“And soon, I won’t be a father anymore.”
That stopped Jonghyun cold. “What do you mean? She’s not going to let you be a part? What, she’s not going to let you see the child?” Jonghyun scoffed. “I’ve known Eunsook long enough to know she knows better than that. And I also know she knows YOU know better than that.”
“Eunsook and ‘knows better’? Yeah fucking right. Tell that to me again after she has the abortion.” Minho felt like he was divulging too much, that this should be a private battle between him and Eunsook, but the fourth shot of liquor had devoured his filter on propriety.
“Ouch.” Jonghyun looked up at the bartender and ordered another round, because now it looked like Minho would need it. “Did she tell you why?”
Minho sighed as a fresh drink was placed in front of him. “Something about a promotion and being a female or some other bullshit. I don’t know. But she won’t talk to me, and there is nothing I can do about it.”
“That’s really tough, buddy. But I doubt she would do something like that without a good reason, a very good reason. It took Eunsook a long time to get to where she’s at and she wouldn’t throw that away. That’s just who she is.”
“But it doesn’t have to be that way. I can make it work! I know I can. But guess what? I don’t figure into the equation. She doesn’t care about me or what I say so...”
Jonghyun grabbed Minho’s shoulders and turned him so he could look him in the eye. “Look. You have this all wrong. Maybe she’s not looking for you to save the day. Maybe she is looking for you to trust her. Either way, she’s making this decision because she has to. And believe me, you matter, I can tell. It’s just that you wouldn’t understand making this type of decision, because as men, we’ll never have to make that type of choice. Between our careers and our family…our bodies. If you care about her, care about being with her, you have to know that if it comes down to that…there will be another time when you two can have a child.”
“What if I don’t want to, huh? What if I’m the type of man to be eternally bothered by this? What if I don’t want to be with a type of woman that would do this?”
Jonghyun laughed humorlessly. “Then you didn’t deserve her in the first place, pal.”
---
Eunsook looked around the conference room drearily, her frown evident and the bags under her eyes heavy and dark. She hadn’t slept in two days, and living next to Minho was driving her insane with grief. She needed him, more than she had ever expected to, and the fact that her decision had driven him away was more than she could bear. She didn’t have the courage to call him, let alone walk the two feet to his door and knock. Beg for him to understand because she didn’t know what she was going to do if she lost him to this.
It took her a day, a full twenty-four hours without immediate access to him for her to realize that she cared for him deeply. He was unexpected and unannounced, he didn’t make sense, and she couldn’t explain how fierce and raw her feelings for him were. It made her sick to need someone like that, to want his arms and feel his touch and listen to his words. But she didn’t have that anymore and she missed it, sorely. And she didn’t have a way to fix it. She was committed to her decision, and as much as it tore her soul in two, she knew that it was something she needed to do.
Then there was the whole Stephanie situation, one she hadn’t the chance to breech, the argument’s priorities pushing it off the table and out of her mind. But what did that matter now? It didn’t.
The only two people in the room were her and Gwiboon, and frankly she was getting tired of the worried look the younger woman kept passing her way. Gwiboon was an intuitive woman and without even saying anything, she knew the woman was reading her like a book. The one conversation they had that day had warmed things between the two of them, but she didn’t think she had it in her to endure the woman reading back her feelings or her situation like a transcript.
“Mrs. Kim, we might want to reschedule this mediation meeting. It seems that your husband and my…” She cleared her throat at her near folly of words. “…it seems my colleague isn’t going to show up today.” She glanced down at her clock as it neared an hour they’d been waiting. “Maybe we can reconve-“
“Okay, so I have to confess.”
Eunsook looked up at the woman. “Confess?” She said blankly.
Gwiboon shuffled a bit, wringing her hands before she spoke. Her trademark smirk was gone, replaced by an unfamiliar frown. “You’re right. They aren’t showing up. Jonghyun has Minho back at our downtown flat. Apparently he happened upon your Minho last night, sloppy drunk and has him recovering on a couch right now.” She smiled. “Our cook makes the most delicious hangover cocktail. So no worries, he’ll be up and about in no time.”
“Wait. Why are you telling me all of this?” Eunsook’s brows furrowed deeply as she gazed at the woman.
“I...um. I know we don’t know each other that well, I don’t care how many times I stop by and chat it up with you. Outside of this particular matter here in mediation, I know you’re a good friend of Jonghyun, and despite my…feelings for him and how we conduct ourselves, any friend of his is a friend of mines. And although it sounds really weird, I do care about you, too. That is weird, huh? I know.” Eunsook didn’t say anything, so Gwiboon continued on. “I just wanted to let you know, and please please forgive me for being so intrusive and this is so completely rude and…but…if you need anyone to talk to about…”
Eunsook straightened up at the words as she began to pull their meanings and put them together. “About what.” She bit out icily.
“Okay, wrong approach.” Gwiboon thought for a second before she reached into her purse, and pulled out her Longchamp Roseau croc-embossed wallet, sliding a picture out from behind her driver’s license. “You’re not much older than me, right? So when you were twenty-one, I was turning what…nineteen?” She glanced at the picture in her hand, a frown pulling at the corners of her lips. “Jonghyun has been a singer all of his life, he loves to sing and God, I loved him and I wouldn’t have done anything to get in the way of that. But the summer of my sophomore year, we weren’t being careful, one thing led to another and…”
She placed the picture on the table and slid it towards Eunsook. Carefully Eunsook flipped the picture over, looking at a dated ultrasound picture. She gasped as she looked up. “But…but you don’t have any children…”
Gwiboon lifted her head up, a sad smile and tears lining the lids of her eyes, shinning against the bright lights of the conference room. “I know. I still don’t.”
“Jesus, Gwiboon. I’m sorry.” Eunsook searched her eyes and reached across to take Gwiboon’s hands into her. “But…why are you telling me this?”
“Because I know what it’s like to weigh your future against yourself. I looked at Jonghyun every day. Young and full of talent and this bright future ahead of him and I just knew that it wasn’t the time. The last thing I needed was for Jonghyun to look at me and our child with regret shining behind the love. But God, did he hate me for it. It took him years to look at me the same way again, the way he did before. Eventually, he understood…”
Eunsook squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Is that why you guys…are getting a divorce?”
Gwibbon laughed loudly. “Heavens, no.” She sighed. “I actually don’t know why…but…that’s not your problem, sweetheart. That’s ours. You have your own battles to fight. Either way, just know it will be okay. You don’t have to feel bad about your decision.”
“Thank you… I needed to hear that.”
“Oh, you bet your ass you did!” she laughed again, collecting her things. “But don’t think I’m going to go soft on you in the future because of this little talk. You’re representing my bonehead husband and that naturally makes you my enemy.” Gwiboon winked as she stood. “Look, if you need someone to talk to, baby, don’t hesitate. Call me. I know you have my number.” She waved on her way out, leaving Eunsook alone in the room.
---
“Okay, Eunsook, just lay back and place your feet in the stirrups.”
Eunsook shifted towards the end of the exam table, clutching the hospital gown closer to her body as she raised her feet, one by one onto the exam table stirrups. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, fighting back her tears as the clinic doctor opened the surgical pouch and folded the corners back. As she heard the package ripping she yelped and looked up.
“What is that? What was that?”
“Calm down, Eunsook. Remember? These are the instruments they showed you in the video when you first got here.” The doctor pointed to the array of instruments on the medical tray. “The speculum, the needle with the local anesthetic, and…” he pointed to a clear tube the size of a pencil. “And this is what’s going to safely get you through this procedure, the aspiration tube.”
From the other side of the door, she heard Taeyeon shuffling about. “Do you need me to come in there Eunsook? Hold your hand?”
Eunsook released a shaky breath. “No Taeyeon. I’m fine. Just wait out there.”
Taeyeon sighed and slumped against the door on the other side of the exam room, not really knowing what to do with herself. She felt so helpless, so powerless. The only thing she had to offer was moral support and at the moment she couldn’t even offer that. She admired Eunsook so much; she was like a big sister, so very different from her own, but all the same as important. With Taesun so far away, Eunsook had been like a place to call home in a city she was unfamiliar with. She’d taken the paralegal under her wing and protected her. And she could never imagine herself in a situation like Eunsook’s or understand what to do without her guidance. She felt so bad.
She felt her phone buzzing in her pocket and fished it out of her jeans. She glanced at the name on the screen and grimaced. Eunsook is going to kill her.
“We’re on the third floor.”
Minho had thought long and hard about it, and he meant long and hard about it. He avoided her face, her scent, her everything to get down to the bare science of what he wanted and what he was prepared to do if he didn’t get what he wanted.
What he wanted was Eunsook. Yes, he wanted a child, desperately, but, and it killed him to say it, but not at the risk of losing Eunsook. Not to the resentment she might feel if she gives up her future. It still hurt, and he knew it would be a wound he’d carry for the rest of his life. He already knew he’d have to deal with the demons that spawned irrationally; the dark and deceptive thoughts and the blame he’d placed squarely on her shoulders. But he’d make it better; he’d ask for her forgiveness and selfishly for the understanding he originally withheld from her.
By the time he met Taeyeon, she was pacing back in forth in front of the exam room. “Has she gone through with it yet?”
“No, not yet, she’s only been back there for a few minutes. She said the procedure should only take fifteen minutes though.”
Minho sighed and took a seat at one of the offered chairs beside the office. “Least I can do is be here for her when she gets out.”
---
Eunsook watched the doctor with wary eyes, as he reached for the needle. He turned towards her smiling. “Okay, Eunsook, what I want you to do is take a deep breath and then you are going to feel a little pinch, then you won’t feel anything at all.”
“Is this going to hurt the baby?”
He smiled at her with understanding. “The anesthetic won’t cause any harm to the baby or you, Ms. Lee. Just makes this more bearable for you, physically.”
She screwed her eye up in pain as she felt the needle pass. A little pinch her ass, but he was right, seconds later she didn’t feel anything. She continued to watch him as he placed the needle down and reached for the clear tube hooked up to a machine. “Okay, you won’t feel anything as this passes through, but you will feel cramping. It’ll feel like a mildly severe cramp, but nothing more, nothing less.” He reached down to turn on the machine and as soon as Eunsook heard the whirling sound of the vacuum, she panicked.
She wasn’t prepared for how loud the sound would be. It was powerful and piercing, ricocheting off every corner of the small room. It was impersonal and it scared the shit out of her. In the span of seconds, she imagined everything Minho had said. The way their child would look up at her and smile, wanting things, learning things from them, and looking like an odd beautiful wondrous combination of the two of them. She saw her little hand reaching for her as they crossed the street on her first day of school. She heard the way that little voice twinkled when she was laughing. Most of all, she saw how much in love Minho would be with her little small and unconditional heart and she couldn’t take it. She WANTED this child; she wanted her so much she could taste the desire to be a mother with everything, her fingertips and the roots of her hair, the soles of her feet.
She wanted this child.
“No.”
The clinic doctor looked up at her, not quite hearing her over the whirl of the machine. “What was that Ms. Lee?”
“No! No! I don’t want to do this.”
“Are you sure, Ms. Lee? Fifteen minutes is all it will take if that’s what you are worried about. You won’t feel much of anything.”
“That…that’s not it. I change my mind. I don’t…just…” When she didn’t hear the machine turn off or feel the doctor back away from her she panicked. She didn’t know if was the hormones, it couldn’t possibly be the hormones, but it was something, and she felt as if she were fighting for her child’s life. It was paranoia and panic, and she wasn’t thinking because the doctor had long ago put the instrument down and was pulling off his gloves. She opened her mouth to scream when she felt a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“That’s fine, Ms. Lee.” He said smiling. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Go ahead and get dressed. I’ll meet you in my office and we’ll figure out the next step, okay dear?”
She sat up immediately, pulling at the gown to stare down at the smooth, flat skin of her belly. Rubbing her hands over it, she finally felt the most radiant smile cross her lips. “That was close, wasn’t it? Sorry, my love.” She threw her head back and laughed.
Eunsook opened the door to a pacing Taeyeon who pulled her into a hug the moment she saw her. She immediately released her with a yelp. “Oh my god, I’m sorry! Did that hurt? Here, sit down! Do you need something to drink? Something to eat?”
Eunsook rolled her eyes with a grin. “No, I don’t need anything to drink. I want to go home and watch television or read a book.”
“Don’t you need to lie down?”
“I would need to lay down, if I’d actually gone through with it.”
Taeyeon froze, slowly turning her head towards the older woman. “You mean…”
“I didn’t do it. I kept her.” Eunsook smiled brightly at Taeyeon. “I’m going to be a mommy.”
Taeyeon squealed, grabbing Eunsook’s face and kissing her full on the lips! “Oh, my god! I’m so happy! I could just squish your squishy face, you crazy woman!” She released Eunsook and bellowed down the hall, her voice bright and full. “Minho! Minho! Come here!”
Eunsook looked up in confusion as Minho rounded the corner in a frenzied flash, a bag of chips and a couple of sodas in his hands. “Eunsook.” He came to an abrupt halt, whispering as he took her in. He hadn’t seen her in days but they’d felt like forever.
Taeyeon was jumping up and down. “She didn’t do it, Minho!”
The chips fell from his mouth as he tried to comprehend Taeyeon’s excited chatter. He swung his gaze from Taeyeon’s excitement to Eunsook’s. He searched her face for an answer, to make sure they weren’t playing some kind of cruel joke on him. But when Eunsook smile and nodded, he dropped both sodas and ran the length of the hallway. He stopped before he collided with her, sinking low to scoop her into his arms, twirling her around as she laughed loudly.
“You didn’t do it?”
“No, I didn’t. I didn’t.”
“I’m going to be a father?”
“You are going to be the best father ever.” He hugged her tightly to him, before tilting her head back and kissing her fully on the lips. “Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know I didn’t have a right to ask for this but thank you.” He placed her down and kissed her again. And again, pecking her lips then her brow, then her cheeks, her fat lovely cheeks.
She grabbed him by his shoulders and forced him to look at her, to calm down. “You’re welcome. But I didn’t do it for you. As much as I understood how much you wanted this child, I did it because everything happens for a reason. And I am ready.”
She slid her hand down the length of his forearm, finding everything as she curled her hand into his. Reassurance, acceptance and a man willing to walk down this rugged path of inspired devotion to what lay inside of her.
She smiled.
----
A/N: See! Happy! But this was something I wanted to tackle, because it happens and people sometime are afraid to speak out about it, like it's some kind of taboo topic. But like I said I wanted to tackle both sides, for those considering and for those who wouldn't consider, for those who have gone through with it and for the men left in a limbo, almost powerless in these situations. Choices and consequences and serious thought. All of that. Hopefully, someone understood where I was going and don't hate my Eunsook and Minho for it ^_^.
Then Comes...
Eunsook / Minho
Genre: Romance
Words: *sings* Moooooore words than plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanned.
Note: Okay, serious moment here. Just so you know I'd always planned to take it in this direction. Kind of explores life and both sides of an argument without demeaning or belittling either sides argument. So uh, yeah? But there IS happy. Sorry (._.)
Note: Gwiboon and Jonghyun DON'T act like children in this one ^_^
Next comes the crucible…
Eunsook looked at the number of boxes littering her office floor and inwardly groaned. The files from her newly assigned case had been delivered and there was at least three times the amount of paperwork than she expected. She circled her desk and kicked a box out of the way so she could pull her chair back, ignoring the flutters of papers as she did so. She was just turning on her computer when her assistant stuck her head in the door, a knowing smile on her face.
“You have a visitor, a Kwon Stephanie and she is without.”
“I should have never given you those books. ‘She is without?’ Really?” Eunsook rolled her eyes and chuckled at the woman. “And the reason for this unexpected visit?”
“She didn’t say much, but something along the lines of a civil case you’re working on.”
That caused Eunsook to raise her brow in question, wondering which case and what information she could have. All of Eunsook’s current cases were on the verge of being closed. But, anything was possible; it wouldn’t hurt to talk to her. “Alright, send her in for me, okay?”
Yes, my lady. Thou shalt verily-”
“GET OUT SunYoung!” Eunsook said laughing uproariously at the younger woman. SunYoung smiled brightly at the woman, dropping off a few case files she’d forgotten earlier before walking out. Soon she returned with the visitor.
Eunsook gave the woman an appraising sweeping gaze as she entered her office. Tall, a whole head taller than Eunsook, with long silken spun hair that hung down in auburn waves past her shoulders and down her back. Her face was lovely enough, heart shaped profile, sparkling brown eyes, and lips quirked in a small smirk as she stared back at Eunsook.
She stood and bowed to the lady who graced her with an upturned brow. “Good morning, Ms. Kwon. I hope you’re doing well. I’m Lee Eunso-“
“Yes, I know who you are.” She moved to the set of chairs reserved for clients in front of Eunsook’s sleek cherry wood desk. The woman, Stephanie, ran a finger across the surface of the desk and held her finger up to inspect it. She then graced Eunsook with a tight smile as she sat back with her arms across her chest. “I came here to find out if you knew who I was.”
Eunsook frowned. “My assistant said you are here in regards to a civil case? Do you have some kind of connection or…”
“You can call it a civil case, of sorts.”
Eunsook blinked, regarding the woman with a bemused grimace, her patience running unusually thin. “I don’t mean to be rude, Ms. Kwon, but I do have other clients to see today as well as some personal matters to attend to. So if you could please actually state how I can-
The taller of the two women’s narrow eyes gleamed at her, unkind and surreptitious. “How well do you know Choi Minho?”
“He is a colleague, Ms. Kwon.” Eunsook tipped her head to the side innocently, politely smiling at the woman, when she wanted to haul the wench up by her long stringy hair and escort her out of her office. But she stayed put, one half of her telling her that she really needed to hear this, while another part was telling her was better off. She ignored the one out to protect her, and listened to the curiosity poking at her sides.
“Then you wouldn’t know that Minho spent the night with me last night.”
Every word smacked Eunsook across the face, hard. It was a cold sort of shock, although if she was going to be honest with herself, surprise wasn’t the first word she could use to describe her feelings. Because if she was going to be honest with herself, if she were to take an inventory of feelings and weight them against reality, she had a firm stock in the truth of the situation. She wasn’t a young naive girl, nor had she been foolish enough to invest any connection with Minho outside of superficial. Her appetite for him was feral and of the flesh. Or at least that’s what she screamed inside of her heart when the foolish thing laughed at her self-deluded assumptions. She had learned a long time ago how important it was to disconnect the pool of desire between her legs and the stupid emotive contraption she called a heart. And she was trying her hardest to cut the lines that envisioned Minho moving deeply in her; both her body and soul.
What really got to her was being lied too. To have her routine uprooted and pushed to the side. He’d told her that he needed to rearrange their meet up; that a client had shown up and he had to deal with that. Stephanie didn’t look like a client, and she damn sure didn’t behave like she was in the need of Minho’s services, legally speaking. Eunsook had come to enjoy spending time with him, but she wasn’t going to be treated like a thing, something he could pencil in when he felt like it, and erased only to have something penned in over her space. That’s what shocked her. That she was replaceable. Moving a hand over her stomach, she felt the first slice of pain.
Jesus Christ, she kept forgetting she was pregnant with his child. It’d only been a week, but the feeling was still suppressed; she didn’t know how to deal with it and him. This, long legs incased in a flirty dress and pink painted lips and cunning eyes, had only served to confuse her more. Still as soon as the words left the woman’s mouth, Eunsook forced herself to smile.
“I’m not exactly sure why that concerns me, Ms. Kwon, but I think you have the wrong office. Whatever type of dealings you have with Minho, that’s your own business. So if you are here to flaunt or brag, I’m going to have to tell you, and as much as it pains me to do so, that I simply do not care what sort of relationship you have with him, and what you two decide to do with your free time is on you. I’m a very busy woman and if you aren’t here in need of my services, I’m going to have to ask you to take your silly gossip to a woman with time on her hands.”
She stood, and motioned towards the door. “You are excused.”
Stephanie barley had the right of mind to hide the snarl that curled her upper lip, angrily grabbing at her purse and stomping towards the door. She wrapped a hand around the polished handle, but not before turning back towards Eunsook. “Don’t think that I was fooled by your little speech. Stay away from him.”
“Good day, Ms. Kwon.”
As the door closed, slammed closed was more like it, Eunsook flopped to her seat, rubbing at the pang of pain behind her eyes, a migraine looming. She moved to lay her head on the flat surface before she heard the door opening again. Eunsook growled, her fist clenching under the desk. “I’m pretty sure I said Good Day, Ms...”
“Well that confirms my suspicions. I could smell that overpriced yet appalling trail of perfume from down the hall.”
Eunsook’s head snapped up, which she regretted as the pain sharpened with her sudden movement. Wincing, she looked to see Kim Gwiboon standing in her office doorway with a hand on her hip. She had on what looked to be a very expensive, yet impeccable tweed two piece suit, a string of pearls across her neck and a pair of dainty taffy grey booties adorned her feet. She looked impressive and informidable, especially with the ever present smirk Gwiboon was famous for. “Ms. Kim! What are you doing here?”
“Social visit!” The woman eagerly sauntered to the exact chair that the cause of her migraine had just vacated, plopping down in a whiff of fragrance. “I know you’re my husband’s lawyer and all, and I wouldn’t have come by, but I saw that…woman and had to see if you were okay.”
“You know her?”
Gwiboon scoffed. “Who doesn’t? Heiress. Took over daddy’s airline business in Incheon. She deserves it; she’s a hard woman to compete with. She’s used to getting her way and has a problem stopping, even if it doesn’t look like there is a win in it for her. That’s her problem and that’s why she has more enemies than allies. She and I…aren’t friends. To be honest, I can’t stand her.”
Eunsook smiled at the energetic yet assertive woman. She liked Gwiboon, she really did. Although pushy in nature and a bit loud for her taste, she enjoyed her lively presence and how she could make Jonghyun stand at attention, bend over backwards, and just about any rare body contortion she could think of. She’d known Jonghyun for a few years, nothing too personal, just a few encounters, but Gwiboon’s reputation preceded her, and she knew enough about the woman before Jonghyun even mentioned the divorce.
She’d blazed her own way after receiving her degree abroad in Paris, fashion capital of the world, as the go to woman in Fashion Presentation and Exhibition. If you had a window to dress, or a runway show that needed to make jaws drop and drool, Kim Gwiboon was the first name you thought of.
“So, a social visit? Of what variety?”
Gwiboon eyes lit up in a most cunning way before reaching into her purse and pulled out a clear vial, a rustic looking sticker wrapped around its circumference.
“Emeterol.” Gwibbon said simply as she placed the bottle in Eunsook’s hand.
Eunsook wracked her brain over and over again, knowing the word sounded familiar. Then she blinked in recognition and paled. “This is for…”
“Morning sickness. Except for this is an all natural, all holistic remedy, completely backed by the KFDA so you don’t have to worry, it’s completely safe for pregnancy.”
Eunsook’s jaw went slack as her gaze went from the bottle in her hand and the woman smiling like a cat who caught the mouse in front of her. “H-how did you…” She closed her eyes as one name came to mind. “Taeyeon told you didn’t she?”
“You mean that absolutely adorable legal clerk from the seventh floor? Heaven’s no! She’s a strange one. Every time I try to talk to her she turns and walks in the opposite direction. It could be that I tried to kidnap her, once. But I only wanted to take her shopping. She should be thanking me!”
Eunsook opened her mouth but closed it, not really knowing what to say.
Gwiboon patted her hand knowingly before standing. “Men are dense, while we women happen not to be. That’s how I know.” She shrugged. “Details, I’m very good at them.” Gwiboon wanted to laugh at the woman’s face, but she refrained, hiding her chuckle behind her hand. She winked at Eunsook. “Relax. Secret is safe with me. Nine months from now I can go ‘Hey Jonghyun, guess who knew first.’ That’ll kill his Mr. Exclusive ego in a heartbeat.”
She bowed and turned to leave, opening the door. “And don’t worry about Stephanie. She’s naturally idiotic and repulsive, anything she said you believe the opposite of. That’s how I’ve always regarded her.” She waved and left.
Eunsook watched Gwiboon leave, a layer of confusion clouding her eyes, her lips pursed in thought. She went to lay her head down again, when she heard a female voice clear its throat. “For the love of God…”
“Not God, just me.” Taeyeon smiled brightly before grabbing Eunsook coat and keys. “C’mon, let’s get outta here. That Gwiboon woman is around here somewhere. I can smell her. I heard there was a sale and I don’t want to be a part of her megalomaniac conquest to rearrange my entire wardrobe.”
---
“Calm down.”
“YOU calm down.” Eunsook looked around the doctor’s office, to all of her degrees and plaques and did feel herself calming down, but only marginally. “Where is she? I feel like I’m going to piss my pants. Look at my hand Taeyeon. It’s shaking. I am a fountain of calm nerves and reasonable thinking.” She stood up abruptly, and began pacing up and down the length of the large back room of the Obstetrics office. “I AM A FOUNTAIN OF CALM NERVES AND REASONABLE THINKING, TAEYEON. I SHOULD NOT BE-“
Taeyeon reached into her purse, extracting an envelope and shoving it in Eunsook’s face. “I would say pick up a book to distract yourself, but this office is brimming with ‘What To Do When You’re Expecting’ literature and I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t shortlist anything you’re doing right now. Like panicking. ” When Eunsook didn’t grab the envelope, she waved it impatiently. “Read it.”
Eunsook snatched it out of her hands, scowling at the woman. She sat down as she ran her finger under the seal of the letter. “What is this?”
Taeyeon shrugged. “Something the big wigs handed to me this morning. Told me to deliver it to you first thing. But priorities and such.” She said, gesturing vaguely to the office.
She looked at the envelope again before, pulling the letter out of the sleeve. She ran over the first set of lines, using the words as a distraction as Taeyeon suggested. Then she read a sentence in particular, paused and re-read it. “Tae...”
Before she could get the words out, the large door to the office opened up, a smiling slightly older woman walking through. “Hello Ms. Lee, I’m Dr. SoonKyu, how are you today?”
“Slightly neurotic, but I’m sure that’s normal.” She glared at Taeyeon before the doctor shook her hand as well.
SoonKyu nodded and motioned for the two women to sit. “Nervousness is normal. Excuse my language, but you’re not the first woman to lose her collective shit back here.” Eunsook smiled, impressed at how down the earth the doctor was, better than the stick in the mud, impending merchant of death in a lab coat as she’d imagined. “So, let’s get to the good part!” She placed an open folder in front of the two women. “Lee Eunsook, you are four weeks pregnant.”
Eunsook gripped the arms of the chair, rapid tension running through the length of her body, bleeding into the floor, threatening to engulf her. She was pregnant. Sure, the four test she’d taken back to back had given her an inkling, enough for her not to be surprised but having a trained professional confirm it, a woman with a wall full of degrees and there was this cross section of a woman’s womb, and dear god she was going to have a womb.
Then she remembered what was in her hands and she felt a pang resonate, wrestling against the happiness that was trying it’s hardest to peak through her terror eating away at her.
“The next step is to take you back to the exam room for an ultrasound, but first you’ll have to fill out this paperwork. Simple basics about what you want, and how we are going to handle the pregnancy.”
Taeyeon snatched the paperwork out of Eunsook’s hands. “For the most part I can fill it out, Eunsook. Go on. Go look at your child.”
---
“Mr. Choi you have a call on line one, a Dr. SoonKyu from Sunny Obstetrics and Women’s Health.”
Minho looked at his desk phone, bewildered. What the hell would an obstetrics office want with him? He was a Civil Litigation lawyer, and was unfamiliar with medical practice cases. Still he picked up the phone, thanking his assistant as he took the call.
“Choi Minho speaking, how can I help you?”
“Aaah, hello! I’m actually not Dr. SoonKyu but her assistant Im Yoona. Um, reason I’m calling is you were listed here as the emergency contact for Lee Eunsook?”
Minho panicked instantly, jumping from his seat. “What do you mean emergency contact? What happened to Eunsook? Is she okay? She isn’t hurt is she?”
“Aaah, Mr. Choi! You can calm down!” Yoona chuckled warmly. “I didn’t mean to worry you! Like I mentioned you were listed as emergency contact and father of the child, and Ms. Lee forgot her ultrasound pictures and she’s not picking up the phone and she’ll need them for her genetics appointment, and we were wondering if you wanted to come by and pick up the file. Plus there is insurance and-“
Minho interrupted her laundry list of tasks. “Wait. Excuse me. I’m not sure I heard you right. I do know Lee Eunsook but…” he laughed, scratching the back of his head. “She’s not… an ultrasound…Ms. Im, she’s not pregnant.”
Yoona was silent on the other end, frantically reading the paperwork in front of her. Normally they wouldn’t call anyone other than the mother, unless it was stated on the paperwork. And it was. Choi Minho, Father, and all of his contact information. “Um...Mr. Choi…I…Lee Eunsook is pregnant, four weeks to be exact…” She sighed. “I apologize if you’re hearing this from me first. She may not have tol- Hello?” She looked back to the phone to see the other line was dead.
Minho looked around his office for a second, his eyes wide and searching. Then his face started to feel funny, like the corners of his mouth were inching up and his cheeks were rushing hot and he realized it was a smile, a full outrageously bright and glorious smile and by some magic of combustion, some kind of chemical reaction that lit him on fire, he felt the bubbles of laughter make their way up his spine, pulling emotions and feelings along the way until he was sitting on his office floor, hands wrapped around his middle in pure unadulterated laughter.
When his assistant opened up the door, looking at him as if he’d lost his marbles; he sprang up, grabbed her hands and swung her around the office. This only heightened her stark awareness that her boss might be losing his mind, because Minho and laughter only happened on rare occasions, and even on those occasions they still scared her witless. She moved to say just that when he spun her around again and dipped her before laying a nasty sloppy kiss on her forehead.
“Hell is wrong with you?” Victoria said before she snatched herself out of his arms and stood up, wiping confusion and disdain off of her clothing.
He opened his mouth to tell her but then came up short. “Go. I-I...I have to go! I’ve gotta go! Clear my schedule! Tell everyone I’m not here.” When she started to object, he waved his hand, dismissing the thought as he grabbed his suit jacket and briefcase. “No, I’m not here. I’m on a rocket, and I’m in outer space. I don’t exist as far as they are concerned. When they say Choi Minho, you say who, okay?”
Victoria raised her finger to object again but didn’t have the chance as he flew by her and out of his office.
Minho tried his hardest to prevent running full gallop out the main entrance of his building, down the street and into Eunsook’s firm. He ran the several flights of stairs until he was at her floor. Rounding the corner, he burst into her office, only to find it empty. Hands on his knees and his breathing labored, he shook off the disappointment of not seeing her as he tried to catch his breath. He began to pick up his cell phone and dial her number but thought of another idea.
He was going to be a dad. And he didn’t have words; he just had this feeling but no words. Where he wanted to explode and maybe punch someone, then hug them. Just a jumble of confused feelings sitting at the pit of his stomach that made him restless and full of energy, a bundle of nerves and excitement. He was sitting in his car in front of their apartment building, holding the ultrasound pictures in his hands. Dr. SoonKyu had circled where his child lay, nestled safely, protected by Eunsook’s body. Just a speck, no longer than the tip of his finger. It was a life, one he helped create.
Resolving himself, he pressed the up button on the elevator, roses in one hand, a cake in the other. He felt incredibly cheesy and worthless, like this was the best he could offer. She was going to give him a son or a daughter and the best he could do was offer her was flour, eggs and vanilla extract on a pretty platter and some dying flowers. He approached her door, ready to surprise her because, yeah she hadn’t told him yet, but he knew she was just waiting for the right time. Eunsook never did anything without careful planning and analytic consideration.
“One day. Right girl, right situation sort of deal.”
The right situation. Ideally, no this wasn’t the right situation. His relationship with Eunsook was relatively new; he knew her and he liked her a lot. A whole whole lot, but didn’t love usually come before baby? An apartment building, although expensive, wasn’t the ideal setting to raise a child. A house with a yard, a school around the corner, a playground, other kids to play with? Things he never had as a child, cooped up on the top floor of some condo, watching the world play below. But he pushed that aside knowing that all he had to do was come up with a plan. That’s what he’d offer her. A plan.
Transferring the roses under his arm, he raised his hands to knock on the door, but it was slightly ajar. Pushing against the door, he peeked inside, glancing left and right and not seeing anybody. He was about to call out to her when he heard the voices coming from the bedroom.
“We just…we gotta just think, Eunsook. Think.”
“That’s really easy to say. Think. I don’t have time to think. I have three days to accept this. Plus, he’s running around town having his kicks and I’m stuck here making the biggest decision of my life.”
Taeyeon groaned. “You don’t know that for sure. You don’t know anything! You’re just guessing because you’re scared. You should at least speak to JungSoo first, Eunsook. Speak to Minho. You don’t know what will happen.”
Minho heard Eunsook scoff. His interest piqued slightly as he stepped further into her apartment. He rounded into the living room, seeing a glass of wine and a slew of paperwork strewn across Eunsook’s coffee table. He sat the cake and the roses on an end table as quietly as he could. He wasn’t…eavesdropping. He just figured they were having a serious conversation and he didn’t want to interrupt it. He could just leave, but how would he explain the cake and roses, he deducted lamely.
“I don’t have to go to him to find out what kind of answer he’ll give me. Think about Tae. I’m the only, the only female associate in that entire building. I’ve been scrapping and clawing my way up, not on my back, not fluttering my eyes at every male associate and partner in that firm. I did everything I could in my power to prove to them that I was no different from them. That I just as capable and competent to be a part of that firm. But guess what. I AM different. I AM a woman. What am I going to do? Walk in there and go ‘Hey! I accept junior partner, but you know…in my first year, I’m going to need to take off for six weeks because I’m full of human! Not to mention the doctor’s appointments and checkups. Oh! I forgot! Around month five I’m going to look like a walking talking blimp, but that should impress our clients, not send them running off to the first male lawyer they can find.’ No, Tae. I can’t say that.”
Minho turned towards the door in surprise. Junior Partner? She was offered junior partner? He felt a slight strum of pride at her proclamation, associative as it may be. The mother of his child was going to be a junior partner at the biggest law firm in Seoul. Well shit, Eunsook, he thought with a smile.
Something caught his attention, just out of the corner of his eye. He glanced back to Eunsook’s coffee table, zeroing in on a set of matching ultrasound pictures. He reached to pick it up, but as soon as he did, he saw something else. A pamphlet. Grabbing it, he looked back to the bedroom again because he could hear Eunsook pacing the floor. But his attention ebbed back to what was in his hands.
“Parent Advisory Center. Information for Women Considering Abortion.” Minho peered at the pamphlet, slightly confused for a second as he read the front of it over and over again. “Why would she…”
See linear observation wasn’t a strong point for Minho. He needed to see all of the evidence laid before him, bagged and tagged, to get the entire picture. It’s how he operated, it’s how he’s always operated and today was no different. He slowly put the fractures together. Eunsook not telling him about the pregnancy, and not telling him about the doctor’s appointment this morning. The hushed whispers behind the bedroom door about junior partner and needing time to think. Decisions that she would need to make. He slowly closed his eyes as it all came together.
“Eunsook…no.” He whispered. He was frozen to his feet, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe and he damn sure couldn’t think. He was furious, that she would attempt to snatch his joy like this. That she would even consider this without talking to him. He wiped angrily at the sweat collecting on his brow.
The door to Eunsook’s bedroom creaked open, a distraught and overwrought Eunsook walking out with a hand to her temple, obviously stressed by the situation. She just needed some fresh air; somewhere to think and to breathe that didn’t feel like everything was closing in on her. She looked up and saw Minho standing there in the middle of her living room, fury and fear, confusion and sadness taking over his features. She was surprised at first, seeing the roses and the cake on her counter but then she noticed what he had in his hands.
“Minho…what are you…how did you get in?” She drained all the emotion from her face and walked into the kitchen, acting as if there was nothing wrong. “Do you want some coffee?”
“Do I want some…are you serious right now? Do I want some coffee? No, I don’t want any damn coffee! I want you to explain.”
She sighed, looking back at Taeyeon’s face whose had gone pale as she noticed Minho in the living room, too. “Tae, I’ll call you. I need to talk with Minho for a second.” Taeyeon looked up at him and then back at Eunsook before nodding. She kissed the older woman on the cheek before grabbing her purse and walking out. When the door closed, Eunsook crossed the room to take a seat on the couch, rubbing a hand over the taught muscles in the back of her neck before turning to Minho.
“Explain what, Minho?”
Minho threw his hands up incredulously before rounding on her and throwing the pamphlet in her face. “THAT, Eunsook. Explain that.” He reached into his pocket and grabbed his own set of ultrasound pictures and threw those in her lap. “EXPLAIN THAT. Explain all of this shit, Eunsook.” She gasped as she noticed what he had, what he’d seen.
“Jesus…” She ran her fingers over the pictures, seeing in the bottom right hand corner both of their names. “I needed to just…think…”
He ignored her sputtering. “You want to know how I found out? A fucking receptionist called me. I’m typing up legal dispositions and she calls me up like this was old news. But you know what? I was happy. I was so happy and proud and then I come here, wanting to sit you down and tell you and show you exactly how ecstatic I was, and I run across this. It’s enough not to tell me you were pregnant Eunsook. But when were you going to tell me about this, huh? You were just going to get rid of it? Act as if it never happened?”
“It…I just learned today, Minho! God! What do you want from me? I haven’t even had enough time to wrap my head around the fact that I am pregnant, and then they throw this promotion at me and I…”
“Then you should have come to me, Eunsook. ME. There is no way in hell I would let you get an abortion! I would have talked you out of even thinkin-“
Eunsook’s face darkened at his choice of words. It strummed at a very ugly cord at Eunsook’s deep sense of independence. “I don’t need your permission, you asshole!” She spat out, interrupting his rant, his lecture about what he would have done and wouldn’t have allowed. “How dare you! How dare you think you could ever attempt to tell me what I can and cannot do?!”
“It’s my child, Eunsook!”
“And it’s my body, Minho. My body and my future on the line! They offered me junior partner. Do you know what that even means? To be the only woman IN that firm, let alone the sole female partner? And I’m supposed to just give that up? For someone…I haven’t even met yet? That I don’t know? It’s not even a person yet...”
“For fucks sake, do you even HEAR yourself? It’s not a person yet?” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he began to pace the length of her living room. “It’s our child, Eunsook. Our little girl. She’s going to have your eyes and my nose, your lips, and my hair.”
“Minho, stop.”
“She’s going to call you Mommy and me Daddy and want me to teach her how to ride a bike, and she’s going to want you to do her hair. She’ll want you to teach her how to cook, and sing and dance.”
“MINHO. STOP IT.” Eunsook felt the tears breaching the corners of her eyes and flooding down her face. She put her hands over her ears to drown him out. She couldn’t take it, she didn’t want to think anymore, or feel anything. She just wanted things to go back to how they were months ago, when she didn’t know Minho, and his smile and his warmth and how he made her feel. She wanted to go back to where she didn’t feel the joy of conception, the thought of holding a child in her arms and looking down on their face. She wanted it all to go away.
“And she’s going to want you to be there to read her bedtime stories and I’ll have to fight the monsters under the bed and-“
“I SAID STOP! DAMN YOU, STOP!” She reached down and grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on, a vase that sat on coffee table and tossed it at him. It barely missed, him ducking as it flew by his head and slammed into the wall, the flowers in it flying everywhere. He jumped over the coffee table and kicked it out of the way. Minho dropped to his knees and threw his hands around her, ignoring her little fist as they beat against his back. Scooping her up, he stalked to the bedroom. Dropping her on the bed, he straddled her, grabbing both of her hands and throwing them over her head.
“Please Eunsook. Just listen to me for a second, would you? That’s not what I meant. I’d never tell you what to do, when have I ever? I just… I was happy and… I don’t know what to do. Please.”
“I hate you. I hate you and I want you to get out of my house and leave me alone!” She struggled in his grip, furious that he had the upper hand when all she wanted to do is beat the shit out of him. “You have no right to do this to me! None! You should have been the one person I could have depended on to talk to me about this. Not accuse me of murdering a child! You…” She broke down into fevered sobbing, her resistance against Minho’s grip relaxing as she cried. “It was supposed to be you…how could you?”
Minho released her arms, rolling to his side and clutched her towards him desperately. “That’s not what I meant! You didn’t give me a chance to talk to you but I shouldn’t have what I said. ” He wrapped strong arms around her back, stroking her soothingly as she fell apart in his arms. He shushed her, willing her to stop crying so the sobs that wracked her tiny frame would cease. He had hurt her, but he was hurting too, and he didn’t know who to comfort first. But as he felt her trembling, he thought of nothing but her. “Eunsook, baby. Don’t cry. Please.”
But she was still furious as she pushed away from him, kicking and screaming with renewed vigor. He’d bitten at a curious digest of emotion that Eunsook had forgetting she even possessed. She felt vulnerable and desperate, judged. And the sensation that ran cold in her was unfamiliar and frightening, and coupled with the severity of the situation, she lost it. “GET OUT! Get out! Get out! Get out!” She scrambled off the bed hysterically and ran to her bathroom, slamming it shut and locking the door. “Go away! I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hear your voice! Just…go.”
“Eunsook, just…” Minho slinked from the bed to her bathroom door, the defeat sitting on his shoulders weighing his down. “I didn’t mean to…we just need to talk about this…together…” He waited for several minutes, her entire apartment silent as he sat on the other side of the door, the other side of the universe waiting for her to speak, to do something. She was miles away and every second that passed, she traveled further from him, lost to him and his reason. Finally after what felt like hours, he heard her slump against the door, sliding down until she was sitting on the floor.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Minho.” She said quietly, the door separating them by inches. “This is my decision and I’m making it.”
Minho’s eyes fluttered closed as his head lolled back hitting the door. He felt his bottom lip trembling as the tears he’d held back slid down his face in waves. He put his face in his hands and sobbed.
---
Jonghyun looked in the bathroom mirror and straightened his tie, smiling roguishly at his reflection. “Any woman would be a fool not to want you.” He spoke to the mirror, pointing and winking at his handsome visage. Appeased with his appearance, he turned and walked towards the lounge area and took a seat on one of the plush V.I.P couches, calling for a waitress.
“Cognac, please.” The pretty waitress nodded in consent and he watched her go. He tilted his head in appreciation. She was lovely, but she wasn’t as pretty as Gwiboon, he absently thought. Gwiboon had rounder hips and a smaller waist. She smiled prettier too and knew just how much coyness she needed to sprinkle to make him feel young again. Plus, she’d never wear that shade of lipstick with that sort of found-
He sighed and forcibly stopped himself. Throwing his hands out, he proclaimed in a loud voice. “NO THOUGHTS OF GWIBOON. NONE. This is your night, your life! No Gwiboon.” He nodded with a smile, proud of his charge to himself. When the waitress appeared with his drink, he thanked her with a kiss on the hand. Just as his lips hit the soft skin of her knuckles, Jonghyun noticed someone at the bar with his hand firmly around a drink and his face plastered to the bar counter. He squinted and then gasped in recognition.
“Jesus Christ…Minho?” He walked over to the bar and bent his head, getting a better look at him. “Well, I’ll be damned. It is you.” He grabbed Minho’s tie which was currently soaking in a tumbler of vodka, shaking the excess liquor from it. “You look great!” He stated brightly but then he sobered as Minho burped up whiffs of liquor. He fanned at his nose in disgust. “Bad thing is I’m terrible at lying. You look like shit.”
Minho looked up from the position it had taken him thirty minutes to get comfortable in to glare at the man. “Fuck do you want?”
“To bother you of course. Isn’t that obvious?” He took a seat on the plush stool besides him, looking at the rather expensive looking bar counter than Minho was drooling on. “Exactly how many drinks have you had?”
“Not enough.”
Jonghyun raised his cognac in salute. “Here, here to that! Want to make sure someone has to carry out of here, huh? Sure that’s going to do wonders for that roughish reputation of yours.” He fished his cellphone out of his pocket and began dialing numbers. “I’m calling Eunsook to come and drag you out of here.”
Minho laughed bitterly before tipping back his glass, finishing off the vodka that his tie was once resting in. “Not like she would come anyway. I’m not high on her list of priorities right now. Nothing is, except for herself.”
Jonghyun raised an eye at him. “You two are something else, you know? One week you’re barely speaking to each other, thinly veiled tolerance. The next week you’re playing footsies under the table, smiling and giggling like a bunch of love drunken teenagers and the next your back to being mortal enemies.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stay out of it.”
“Oh, please. Spare me the antiquated bullshit. I know how a man looks at a woman he’s in love with. And you’ve been giving her that look for a pretty long time buddy. So, you can sit there and wallow in despair and vodka, or you can tell me what’s got you in here looking like well dressed Bernie Lomax.”
Minho chuckled low and full of sarcasm. “I’m going to be a father. “
Jonghyun sat up straight, beaming down at the intoxicated lawyer. “Oh, man! That’s great! Congratu-“
“And soon, I won’t be a father anymore.”
That stopped Jonghyun cold. “What do you mean? She’s not going to let you be a part? What, she’s not going to let you see the child?” Jonghyun scoffed. “I’ve known Eunsook long enough to know she knows better than that. And I also know she knows YOU know better than that.”
“Eunsook and ‘knows better’? Yeah fucking right. Tell that to me again after she has the abortion.” Minho felt like he was divulging too much, that this should be a private battle between him and Eunsook, but the fourth shot of liquor had devoured his filter on propriety.
“Ouch.” Jonghyun looked up at the bartender and ordered another round, because now it looked like Minho would need it. “Did she tell you why?”
Minho sighed as a fresh drink was placed in front of him. “Something about a promotion and being a female or some other bullshit. I don’t know. But she won’t talk to me, and there is nothing I can do about it.”
“That’s really tough, buddy. But I doubt she would do something like that without a good reason, a very good reason. It took Eunsook a long time to get to where she’s at and she wouldn’t throw that away. That’s just who she is.”
“But it doesn’t have to be that way. I can make it work! I know I can. But guess what? I don’t figure into the equation. She doesn’t care about me or what I say so...”
Jonghyun grabbed Minho’s shoulders and turned him so he could look him in the eye. “Look. You have this all wrong. Maybe she’s not looking for you to save the day. Maybe she is looking for you to trust her. Either way, she’s making this decision because she has to. And believe me, you matter, I can tell. It’s just that you wouldn’t understand making this type of decision, because as men, we’ll never have to make that type of choice. Between our careers and our family…our bodies. If you care about her, care about being with her, you have to know that if it comes down to that…there will be another time when you two can have a child.”
“What if I don’t want to, huh? What if I’m the type of man to be eternally bothered by this? What if I don’t want to be with a type of woman that would do this?”
Jonghyun laughed humorlessly. “Then you didn’t deserve her in the first place, pal.”
---
Eunsook looked around the conference room drearily, her frown evident and the bags under her eyes heavy and dark. She hadn’t slept in two days, and living next to Minho was driving her insane with grief. She needed him, more than she had ever expected to, and the fact that her decision had driven him away was more than she could bear. She didn’t have the courage to call him, let alone walk the two feet to his door and knock. Beg for him to understand because she didn’t know what she was going to do if she lost him to this.
It took her a day, a full twenty-four hours without immediate access to him for her to realize that she cared for him deeply. He was unexpected and unannounced, he didn’t make sense, and she couldn’t explain how fierce and raw her feelings for him were. It made her sick to need someone like that, to want his arms and feel his touch and listen to his words. But she didn’t have that anymore and she missed it, sorely. And she didn’t have a way to fix it. She was committed to her decision, and as much as it tore her soul in two, she knew that it was something she needed to do.
Then there was the whole Stephanie situation, one she hadn’t the chance to breech, the argument’s priorities pushing it off the table and out of her mind. But what did that matter now? It didn’t.
The only two people in the room were her and Gwiboon, and frankly she was getting tired of the worried look the younger woman kept passing her way. Gwiboon was an intuitive woman and without even saying anything, she knew the woman was reading her like a book. The one conversation they had that day had warmed things between the two of them, but she didn’t think she had it in her to endure the woman reading back her feelings or her situation like a transcript.
“Mrs. Kim, we might want to reschedule this mediation meeting. It seems that your husband and my…” She cleared her throat at her near folly of words. “…it seems my colleague isn’t going to show up today.” She glanced down at her clock as it neared an hour they’d been waiting. “Maybe we can reconve-“
“Okay, so I have to confess.”
Eunsook looked up at the woman. “Confess?” She said blankly.
Gwiboon shuffled a bit, wringing her hands before she spoke. Her trademark smirk was gone, replaced by an unfamiliar frown. “You’re right. They aren’t showing up. Jonghyun has Minho back at our downtown flat. Apparently he happened upon your Minho last night, sloppy drunk and has him recovering on a couch right now.” She smiled. “Our cook makes the most delicious hangover cocktail. So no worries, he’ll be up and about in no time.”
“Wait. Why are you telling me all of this?” Eunsook’s brows furrowed deeply as she gazed at the woman.
“I...um. I know we don’t know each other that well, I don’t care how many times I stop by and chat it up with you. Outside of this particular matter here in mediation, I know you’re a good friend of Jonghyun, and despite my…feelings for him and how we conduct ourselves, any friend of his is a friend of mines. And although it sounds really weird, I do care about you, too. That is weird, huh? I know.” Eunsook didn’t say anything, so Gwiboon continued on. “I just wanted to let you know, and please please forgive me for being so intrusive and this is so completely rude and…but…if you need anyone to talk to about…”
Eunsook straightened up at the words as she began to pull their meanings and put them together. “About what.” She bit out icily.
“Okay, wrong approach.” Gwiboon thought for a second before she reached into her purse, and pulled out her Longchamp Roseau croc-embossed wallet, sliding a picture out from behind her driver’s license. “You’re not much older than me, right? So when you were twenty-one, I was turning what…nineteen?” She glanced at the picture in her hand, a frown pulling at the corners of her lips. “Jonghyun has been a singer all of his life, he loves to sing and God, I loved him and I wouldn’t have done anything to get in the way of that. But the summer of my sophomore year, we weren’t being careful, one thing led to another and…”
She placed the picture on the table and slid it towards Eunsook. Carefully Eunsook flipped the picture over, looking at a dated ultrasound picture. She gasped as she looked up. “But…but you don’t have any children…”
Gwiboon lifted her head up, a sad smile and tears lining the lids of her eyes, shinning against the bright lights of the conference room. “I know. I still don’t.”
“Jesus, Gwiboon. I’m sorry.” Eunsook searched her eyes and reached across to take Gwiboon’s hands into her. “But…why are you telling me this?”
“Because I know what it’s like to weigh your future against yourself. I looked at Jonghyun every day. Young and full of talent and this bright future ahead of him and I just knew that it wasn’t the time. The last thing I needed was for Jonghyun to look at me and our child with regret shining behind the love. But God, did he hate me for it. It took him years to look at me the same way again, the way he did before. Eventually, he understood…”
Eunsook squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Is that why you guys…are getting a divorce?”
Gwibbon laughed loudly. “Heavens, no.” She sighed. “I actually don’t know why…but…that’s not your problem, sweetheart. That’s ours. You have your own battles to fight. Either way, just know it will be okay. You don’t have to feel bad about your decision.”
“Thank you… I needed to hear that.”
“Oh, you bet your ass you did!” she laughed again, collecting her things. “But don’t think I’m going to go soft on you in the future because of this little talk. You’re representing my bonehead husband and that naturally makes you my enemy.” Gwiboon winked as she stood. “Look, if you need someone to talk to, baby, don’t hesitate. Call me. I know you have my number.” She waved on her way out, leaving Eunsook alone in the room.
---
“Okay, Eunsook, just lay back and place your feet in the stirrups.”
Eunsook shifted towards the end of the exam table, clutching the hospital gown closer to her body as she raised her feet, one by one onto the exam table stirrups. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, fighting back her tears as the clinic doctor opened the surgical pouch and folded the corners back. As she heard the package ripping she yelped and looked up.
“What is that? What was that?”
“Calm down, Eunsook. Remember? These are the instruments they showed you in the video when you first got here.” The doctor pointed to the array of instruments on the medical tray. “The speculum, the needle with the local anesthetic, and…” he pointed to a clear tube the size of a pencil. “And this is what’s going to safely get you through this procedure, the aspiration tube.”
From the other side of the door, she heard Taeyeon shuffling about. “Do you need me to come in there Eunsook? Hold your hand?”
Eunsook released a shaky breath. “No Taeyeon. I’m fine. Just wait out there.”
Taeyeon sighed and slumped against the door on the other side of the exam room, not really knowing what to do with herself. She felt so helpless, so powerless. The only thing she had to offer was moral support and at the moment she couldn’t even offer that. She admired Eunsook so much; she was like a big sister, so very different from her own, but all the same as important. With Taesun so far away, Eunsook had been like a place to call home in a city she was unfamiliar with. She’d taken the paralegal under her wing and protected her. And she could never imagine herself in a situation like Eunsook’s or understand what to do without her guidance. She felt so bad.
She felt her phone buzzing in her pocket and fished it out of her jeans. She glanced at the name on the screen and grimaced. Eunsook is going to kill her.
“We’re on the third floor.”
Minho had thought long and hard about it, and he meant long and hard about it. He avoided her face, her scent, her everything to get down to the bare science of what he wanted and what he was prepared to do if he didn’t get what he wanted.
What he wanted was Eunsook. Yes, he wanted a child, desperately, but, and it killed him to say it, but not at the risk of losing Eunsook. Not to the resentment she might feel if she gives up her future. It still hurt, and he knew it would be a wound he’d carry for the rest of his life. He already knew he’d have to deal with the demons that spawned irrationally; the dark and deceptive thoughts and the blame he’d placed squarely on her shoulders. But he’d make it better; he’d ask for her forgiveness and selfishly for the understanding he originally withheld from her.
By the time he met Taeyeon, she was pacing back in forth in front of the exam room. “Has she gone through with it yet?”
“No, not yet, she’s only been back there for a few minutes. She said the procedure should only take fifteen minutes though.”
Minho sighed and took a seat at one of the offered chairs beside the office. “Least I can do is be here for her when she gets out.”
---
Eunsook watched the doctor with wary eyes, as he reached for the needle. He turned towards her smiling. “Okay, Eunsook, what I want you to do is take a deep breath and then you are going to feel a little pinch, then you won’t feel anything at all.”
“Is this going to hurt the baby?”
He smiled at her with understanding. “The anesthetic won’t cause any harm to the baby or you, Ms. Lee. Just makes this more bearable for you, physically.”
She screwed her eye up in pain as she felt the needle pass. A little pinch her ass, but he was right, seconds later she didn’t feel anything. She continued to watch him as he placed the needle down and reached for the clear tube hooked up to a machine. “Okay, you won’t feel anything as this passes through, but you will feel cramping. It’ll feel like a mildly severe cramp, but nothing more, nothing less.” He reached down to turn on the machine and as soon as Eunsook heard the whirling sound of the vacuum, she panicked.
She wasn’t prepared for how loud the sound would be. It was powerful and piercing, ricocheting off every corner of the small room. It was impersonal and it scared the shit out of her. In the span of seconds, she imagined everything Minho had said. The way their child would look up at her and smile, wanting things, learning things from them, and looking like an odd beautiful wondrous combination of the two of them. She saw her little hand reaching for her as they crossed the street on her first day of school. She heard the way that little voice twinkled when she was laughing. Most of all, she saw how much in love Minho would be with her little small and unconditional heart and she couldn’t take it. She WANTED this child; she wanted her so much she could taste the desire to be a mother with everything, her fingertips and the roots of her hair, the soles of her feet.
She wanted this child.
“No.”
The clinic doctor looked up at her, not quite hearing her over the whirl of the machine. “What was that Ms. Lee?”
“No! No! I don’t want to do this.”
“Are you sure, Ms. Lee? Fifteen minutes is all it will take if that’s what you are worried about. You won’t feel much of anything.”
“That…that’s not it. I change my mind. I don’t…just…” When she didn’t hear the machine turn off or feel the doctor back away from her she panicked. She didn’t know if was the hormones, it couldn’t possibly be the hormones, but it was something, and she felt as if she were fighting for her child’s life. It was paranoia and panic, and she wasn’t thinking because the doctor had long ago put the instrument down and was pulling off his gloves. She opened her mouth to scream when she felt a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“That’s fine, Ms. Lee.” He said smiling. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Go ahead and get dressed. I’ll meet you in my office and we’ll figure out the next step, okay dear?”
She sat up immediately, pulling at the gown to stare down at the smooth, flat skin of her belly. Rubbing her hands over it, she finally felt the most radiant smile cross her lips. “That was close, wasn’t it? Sorry, my love.” She threw her head back and laughed.
Eunsook opened the door to a pacing Taeyeon who pulled her into a hug the moment she saw her. She immediately released her with a yelp. “Oh my god, I’m sorry! Did that hurt? Here, sit down! Do you need something to drink? Something to eat?”
Eunsook rolled her eyes with a grin. “No, I don’t need anything to drink. I want to go home and watch television or read a book.”
“Don’t you need to lie down?”
“I would need to lay down, if I’d actually gone through with it.”
Taeyeon froze, slowly turning her head towards the older woman. “You mean…”
“I didn’t do it. I kept her.” Eunsook smiled brightly at Taeyeon. “I’m going to be a mommy.”
Taeyeon squealed, grabbing Eunsook’s face and kissing her full on the lips! “Oh, my god! I’m so happy! I could just squish your squishy face, you crazy woman!” She released Eunsook and bellowed down the hall, her voice bright and full. “Minho! Minho! Come here!”
Eunsook looked up in confusion as Minho rounded the corner in a frenzied flash, a bag of chips and a couple of sodas in his hands. “Eunsook.” He came to an abrupt halt, whispering as he took her in. He hadn’t seen her in days but they’d felt like forever.
Taeyeon was jumping up and down. “She didn’t do it, Minho!”
The chips fell from his mouth as he tried to comprehend Taeyeon’s excited chatter. He swung his gaze from Taeyeon’s excitement to Eunsook’s. He searched her face for an answer, to make sure they weren’t playing some kind of cruel joke on him. But when Eunsook smile and nodded, he dropped both sodas and ran the length of the hallway. He stopped before he collided with her, sinking low to scoop her into his arms, twirling her around as she laughed loudly.
“You didn’t do it?”
“No, I didn’t. I didn’t.”
“I’m going to be a father?”
“You are going to be the best father ever.” He hugged her tightly to him, before tilting her head back and kissing her fully on the lips. “Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know I didn’t have a right to ask for this but thank you.” He placed her down and kissed her again. And again, pecking her lips then her brow, then her cheeks, her fat lovely cheeks.
She grabbed him by his shoulders and forced him to look at her, to calm down. “You’re welcome. But I didn’t do it for you. As much as I understood how much you wanted this child, I did it because everything happens for a reason. And I am ready.”
She slid her hand down the length of his forearm, finding everything as she curled her hand into his. Reassurance, acceptance and a man willing to walk down this rugged path of inspired devotion to what lay inside of her.
She smiled.
----
A/N: See! Happy! But this was something I wanted to tackle, because it happens and people sometime are afraid to speak out about it, like it's some kind of taboo topic. But like I said I wanted to tackle both sides, for those considering and for those who wouldn't consider, for those who have gone through with it and for the men left in a limbo, almost powerless in these situations. Choices and consequences and serious thought. All of that. Hopefully, someone understood where I was going and don't hate my Eunsook and Minho for it ^_^.
Then Comes...