It's Official
So, today I am a sister-in-law for the second time. My step-sister Brittany is now officially a married woman. In about two weeks I will be an aunt for the first time and I'm feeling really old. I'm only 22 and already I'm behind my older(by 3 months) step-brother and my step-sister(only 20 yrs. old!). I'm just trying to get through college and my siblings are starting families. I have a feeling my little sister will be next in a matter of months. I feel like I'm the only one thinking rationally about the whole marriage thing. I'm happy for all of them but it's just scary to see everyone around you so eager to get hitched. Since age 5, I've wanted to get married and have a family and all my other siblings just thought that was crazy. Everyone in my family expected me to get married first and now everyone but me is getting married.
Even though it scares me to see all this, I'm a little jealous. Sometimes it seems better to be oblivious and happy. I'm kinda having trouble remembering that I promised (myself) I would be financially independent before marrying anyone. It's just so easy for the women in my family to get married before they're financially ready and depend on their spouse to take care of everything. Is it wrong to think that if you love someone you would help them provide for the family rather than, depend solely on them? Maybe I'm wrong but that's how I prefer my relationship to be.
On top of all this, my step-father has yet to walk any of us down the isle. My step-sister had a courthouse wedding with only one witness and no family. Our dad has difficulty walking as it is but to not be given the opportunity to try is heartbreaking for him. I seriously doubt my little sister will have a big wedding so he'll miss his opportunity again. Now more than ever after seeing him cry today, I suddenly want to have a big church wedding just to give him the opportunity to proudly walk me down the isle. I'm also tempted to marry a catholic and convert so I can have an excuse to drink at my own wedding:) My family isn't big on drinking so that's the only way to make it happen and not be frowned upon.
But, I don't see a wedding for me happening anytime in the near future so, I'll just drink in celebration of the ones who are brave enough to do it so young.