HP Reread 2010: Prisoner of Azkaban. Most of it, at least.
SO heads up, there will be typos in this post. There usually are anyway, but my "K" key is sticking lately, and I'm not checking it like I usually do. Mostly because HOLY SHIT THIS IS MY FAVORITE BOOK EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, it's worth the sparkle text. My opinion may change once I hit OotP, but fuck it. So far this is my favorite fucking book.
So we meet up with Harry while he is doing his homework. He's turning into Hermione. It's his birthday, but even he forgot about it. But Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid didn't forget, and he gets birthday presents for the first time in forever. Ron has also been in Egypt, and was in the paper. Again, we are dropping hints early. Hagrid gets him an attack book and a cryptic message.
The Dursley's get him a visit from Aunt Marge. She's evil, and Harry decided to blow her up. I always wished this was an explosion, but no, she's just a human balloon.
^^^evil bitch.^^^
Harry runs away, sees a big black dog, and gets on the Knight Bus. He pretends to be Neville Longbottom, which always makes me laugh, and is dropped off at the Leaky Cauldron, where Minster of Magic Cornelius Fudge is waiting for him. Why? Because he's Harry freakin' Potter. Warning: Sparkletext will be used for that phrase for forever, now. Paricularly the pink sparkletext, because I like it. But we don't know that yet. Right now, it's just a good way to freak Harry out and make him thin he's going to Azkaban, the wizard jail we just learned about. Conveniently enough, Sirius Black just broke out of said wizard jail, which would make one think it's not that secure a prision, but we are also told that he is the first to escape, so it/he must be pretty fucking scary. Harry is not going to Azkaban, though, so he decided to rent a room at the Leaky Cauldron and hang out in Diagon Alley for the rest of his break. Ron and Hermione eventually show up, along with the rest of the Weasley's, and they all get onto the train for Hogwarts together, but not before MR. Weasley let's it slip that Sirius Black broke out of Azkaban specifically to kill Harry.
On the train, they meet Remus freakin' Lupin. , who quickly proves to be a BAMF, despite looking a little ratty. He's not homeless anymore, either. For future reference, Lupin has always looked like Joe Moses in my mind, with darker hair. Yes, this was before I knew who the hell Joe Moses was. That's why I was slightly put out when I first saw him out of costume. He's not Snape. He's Lupin. For Christ's sake.
That guy. With brown hair. And a bit older. I'm telling you, I'm psychic, for even knowing this person exists.
Lupin sends away the dementors that make Harry pass out, and gives out chocolate. Seriously, he would have had me at free chocolate. Anyway, Remus Lupin is fucking awesome, and once everyone is back at school, everyone but the Slytherins think so, because they are all dicks.
Speaking of dicky Slytherins, Malfoy decides to cause a fuss in Hagrid's first ever Care of Magical Creatures class (Seriously, who else would assign an attack book to a bunch of thirteen-year-olds). Buckbeak the hippogriff attacks Malfoy after the stupid slimy git insults him. Malfoy asked for it. But ti means Buckbeak will have to stand trial and that is really important to know.
Lupin's first class is with a Boggart. I like the idea of a boggart. They are ridiculous, and it's kind of awesome. Also, boggart!Snape is hysterical. I wish that had been in AVPS.
So the first few months pass in a haze of classes and Quidditch. Oliver Wood really wants to win the Quidditch Cup this year. Just heads up.
Halloween is always eventful at Hogwarts, and this year is no exception. There is a Hogsmeade visit, which Harry cannot participate in, since he doesn't have any parents to sign his permission form. Instead, he has tea with Lupin, who talks about his father and Sirius Black. I think. Maybe that's another tea time with Lupin. I feel like it happens more than once. Later that night, the Fat Lady is attacked by Sirius Black. There is panic, and a sleepover in the Great Hall. That sounds pretty cool to me.
There's more Quidditch, but it's not that interesting. Harry wants to learn how to fight the dementors, so he asks Lupin. Naturally, it's very advanced magic. But that's not a problem, because he is Harry freakin' Potter. Lupin says he will teach him to battle dementors after Christmas break.
There's another Hogsmeade trip. Fred and George give Harry a mysterious object called The Marauder's Map, made by Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, which are legit some of the lamest nicknames ever. Harry sneaks into the village, goes to a bar, and overhears a bunch of his teachers and the Minister of Magic tell a random barmaid the story of how Sirius Black, his father's best friend, betrayed them to Voldemort and had them killed. He is clearly upset, flips out, and starts plotting revenge.
Christmas comes. Harry gets a Firebolt, the best fucking broom in the world. Everyone but Hermione thinks that awesome, so she has McGonagall confiscated it and run a bunch of tests, because it could have been sent by Sirius Black. Ron and Harry stop speaking to her, natch.
Term starts. More classes and Quidditch that I don't care about. Harry starts his Patronus lessons, and he sucks. It's because he wants to hear his mother's voice again. That might have just broken my heart a little.
Eventually, Harry gets his Firebolt back, and it's like, two days before a match. But whatever. He has it for the match, and he fucking wins. Because he's Harry freakin' Potter.. Oh, and that's when we meet Cho Chang. She follows Harry around, and is generally useless.
There's some more filler in here. Classes and shit. Hermione quits Divination and hits Malfoy at some point. There's the Quidditch final in there somewhere as well, and Gryffindor finally wins. Don't care, because my favorite part is the end.
Exams come up. Everyone does their usual somewhat good job. Hogwarts apparently sucks at teaching anyone that isn't Hermione. Then the real shit begins.
I'm gonna stop there, because I'm not actually done with the book yet. I don't think I will be making my month goal, but dammit it won't be from lack of trying. I did just move, after all. Maybe my own copies of the book will resurface.
Speaking of which, I went to the library to get the third book. I knew I had lost my library card a while ago, but I didn't now how long it had been. Well, I found out. Six years. Seriously. I last used the library in 2004. I WAS THIRTEEN. I had $4.75 in overdue fees. Maybe that's why I stopped. To my 13-year-old self, that was a lot of money. The library remodeled since then. It's really pretty now. There's a giant computer lab, and the children's section has shelves small people can actually reach. It's kind of awesome.
Yeah, it's worth the sparkle text. My opinion may change once I hit OotP, but fuck it. So far this is my favorite fucking book.
So we meet up with Harry while he is doing his homework. He's turning into Hermione. It's his birthday, but even he forgot about it. But Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid didn't forget, and he gets birthday presents for the first time in forever. Ron has also been in Egypt, and was in the paper. Again, we are dropping hints early. Hagrid gets him an attack book and a cryptic message.
The Dursley's get him a visit from Aunt Marge. She's evil, and Harry decided to blow her up. I always wished this was an explosion, but no, she's just a human balloon.
^^^evil bitch.^^^
Harry runs away, sees a big black dog, and gets on the Knight Bus. He pretends to be Neville Longbottom, which always makes me laugh, and is dropped off at the Leaky Cauldron, where Minster of Magic Cornelius Fudge is waiting for him. Why? Because he's Harry freakin' Potter. Warning: Sparkletext will be used for that phrase for forever, now. Paricularly the pink sparkletext, because I like it. But we don't know that yet. Right now, it's just a good way to freak Harry out and make him thin he's going to Azkaban, the wizard jail we just learned about. Conveniently enough, Sirius Black just broke out of said wizard jail, which would make one think it's not that secure a prision, but we are also told that he is the first to escape, so it/he must be pretty fucking scary. Harry is not going to Azkaban, though, so he decided to rent a room at the Leaky Cauldron and hang out in Diagon Alley for the rest of his break. Ron and Hermione eventually show up, along with the rest of the Weasley's, and they all get onto the train for Hogwarts together, but not before MR. Weasley let's it slip that Sirius Black broke out of Azkaban specifically to kill Harry.
On the train, they meet Remus freakin' Lupin. , who quickly proves to be a BAMF, despite looking a little ratty. He's not homeless anymore, either. For future reference, Lupin has always looked like Joe Moses in my mind, with darker hair. Yes, this was before I knew who the hell Joe Moses was. That's why I was slightly put out when I first saw him out of costume. He's not Snape. He's Lupin. For Christ's sake.
That guy. With brown hair. And a bit older. I'm telling you, I'm psychic, for even knowing this person exists.
Lupin sends away the dementors that make Harry pass out, and gives out chocolate. Seriously, he would have had me at free chocolate. Anyway, Remus Lupin is fucking awesome, and once everyone is back at school, everyone but the Slytherins think so, because they are all dicks.
Speaking of dicky Slytherins, Malfoy decides to cause a fuss in Hagrid's first ever Care of Magical Creatures class (Seriously, who else would assign an attack book to a bunch of thirteen-year-olds). Buckbeak the hippogriff attacks Malfoy after the stupid slimy git insults him. Malfoy asked for it. But ti means Buckbeak will have to stand trial and that is really important to know.
Lupin's first class is with a Boggart. I like the idea of a boggart. They are ridiculous, and it's kind of awesome. Also, boggart!Snape is hysterical. I wish that had been in AVPS.
So the first few months pass in a haze of classes and Quidditch. Oliver Wood really wants to win the Quidditch Cup this year. Just heads up.
Halloween is always eventful at Hogwarts, and this year is no exception. There is a Hogsmeade visit, which Harry cannot participate in, since he doesn't have any parents to sign his permission form. Instead, he has tea with Lupin, who talks about his father and Sirius Black. I think. Maybe that's another tea time with Lupin. I feel like it happens more than once. Later that night, the Fat Lady is attacked by Sirius Black. There is panic, and a sleepover in the Great Hall. That sounds pretty cool to me.
There's more Quidditch, but it's not that interesting. Harry wants to learn how to fight the dementors, so he asks Lupin. Naturally, it's very advanced magic. But that's not a problem, because he is Harry freakin' Potter. Lupin says he will teach him to battle dementors after Christmas break.
There's another Hogsmeade trip. Fred and George give Harry a mysterious object called The Marauder's Map, made by Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, which are legit some of the lamest nicknames ever. Harry sneaks into the village, goes to a bar, and overhears a bunch of his teachers and the Minister of Magic tell a random barmaid the story of how Sirius Black, his father's best friend, betrayed them to Voldemort and had them killed. He is clearly upset, flips out, and starts plotting revenge.
Christmas comes. Harry gets a Firebolt, the best fucking broom in the world. Everyone but Hermione thinks that awesome, so she has McGonagall confiscated it and run a bunch of tests, because it could have been sent by Sirius Black. Ron and Harry stop speaking to her, natch.
Term starts. More classes and Quidditch that I don't care about. Harry starts his Patronus lessons, and he sucks. It's because he wants to hear his mother's voice again. That might have just broken my heart a little.
Eventually, Harry gets his Firebolt back, and it's like, two days before a match. But whatever. He has it for the match, and he fucking wins. Because he's Harry freakin' Potter.. Oh, and that's when we meet Cho Chang. She follows Harry around, and is generally useless.
There's some more filler in here. Classes and shit. Hermione quits Divination and hits Malfoy at some point. There's the Quidditch final in there somewhere as well, and Gryffindor finally wins. Don't care, because my favorite part is the end.
Exams come up. Everyone does their usual somewhat good job. Hogwarts apparently sucks at teaching anyone that isn't Hermione. Then the real shit begins.
I'm gonna stop there, because I'm not actually done with the book yet. I don't think I will be making my month goal, but dammit it won't be from lack of trying. I did just move, after all. Maybe my own copies of the book will resurface.
Speaking of which, I went to the library to get the third book. I knew I had lost my library card a while ago, but I didn't now how long it had been. Well, I found out. Six years. Seriously. I last used the library in 2004. I WAS THIRTEEN. I had $4.75 in overdue fees. Maybe that's why I stopped. To my 13-year-old self, that was a lot of money. The library remodeled since then. It's really pretty now. There's a giant computer lab, and the children's section has shelves small people can actually reach. It's kind of awesome.