HP REREAD 2010: THE END OF SS
That's right bitches. I finished the first book. I actually finished it a few days ago, but life has been hectic and I wanted to track down a copy of CoS before I wrote this post. The two seemed connected for some reason. Which is another issue with this reread, I realized. I don't have any of my copies of the books. They are all in a box somewhere that I cannot find, and it makes me want to cry. So I have been tracking them down at Goodwill, but I couldn't find the second one, so I debated for a while, but finally bought it at Walmart. 9 bucks later, I have a new copy of what is probably my least favorite of the series. Oh well, screw it, life will go on.
So, Sorcerer's Stone. How did it end?
Not terribly eventfully.
Yeah, I said it. The end is fucking boring. Especially compared to the other books.
But anyway, after Halloween, Harry plays Quidditch for the first time. He is staying out of trouble, until someone starts jinxing his broom, making it try to buck him off. Legit, this scene is suspenseful. It's fucking scary, possibly the scariest part of the book for me. It's the first time we are shown someone trying to kill Harry. Of course, we think it's Snape, but whatever. Someone is trying to kill this little 11 year old boy. That's scary. Anyway, Hermione saves the day. It's awesome. So begins the Snape hate, which lasts until a few seconds before he dies, six books later.
Hagrid becomes quite the trouble-maker in the second half of the book. First, he lets slip that he knows about the three-headed dog, has named him Fluffy, and knows what said dog is hiding. It has something to do with Nicholas Flamel. That name sounds familiar to Harry, and it should sound just as familiar to us. The really good people flipped back and found it. The rest of us were too lazy.
Anyway, our trio launches a massive library hunt for this name, using books that all have "modern" in the title, and fail tremendously.
Harry stays at Hogwarts for Christmas, which makes it the best Christmas he has ever had. We are reminded of how pathetic Harry's life has been when he is surprised he got presents. He and Ron play wizard chess, which you should also remember, and Ron kicks his ass. He also gets a surprise present from an anonymous donor, an invisibility cloak that belonged to Harry's dead father. His dad is dead...he has a dead father.
Harry puts the cloak to good use by sneaking into the library. Yup, that's the making of a rebel right there. Anyway, he goes to the Restricted Section, and a book literally screams at him. He runs away, but finds the Mirror of Erised, which shows him his entire fucking family. It takes him a minute to figure it out, but then he spends the next few nights just staring at them. Dumbledore finds him, and warns him that it might not be a good idea to stare at people he won't know. Dumbledore also tells him that the mirror will be moved to a new home, and that should alert the reader that we will find out where it goes. In case you hadn't noticed, Harry's life fucking SUCKS.
So everyone comes back for second semester (even if that's not what they are calling it), and Malfoy, surprisingly, is a douchebag. He teases Neville, who has yet to get in touch with his inner badass, and Harry comforts him in one of the sweetest moments of his life. He give Neville a chocolate frog, which reveals who the fuck Nicholas Flamel is. He made a Sorcerer's Stone. Holy Fuck. Turns out he's fucking ancient, and that's why all those modern books were a bad idea.
Harry, on his way back from Quidditch practice, overhears Snape and Quirrel talking in what seems to be a threatening manner. This is important, kind of.
Oh, and Hagrid has a fucking dragon egg.
Norbert is officially the cutest name for a dragon ever. I don't even like dragons, but I like a dragon named Norbert.
Harry and Hermione have to sneak Norbert away to Ron's brother Charlie. Ron would have helped, but the precious baby Norbert bit him. Malfoy rats them out, and Neville tries to warn them, meaning all four of them get caught for being out of bed after hours and are given detention, along with losing house points, which is still importatn at this point in the series. Their detention is with Hagrid, who takes four 11 year olds into the Forbbiden Forest to hunt a wounded unicorn. I honestly don't understand how Hogwarts was allowed to stay open. There are clearly no regulations on wizard schools.
Anyway, Harry finds the unicorn, and a hooded figure is drinking the poor dead (like Harry's dad) creature's blood. Harry's scar hurts, which both he and the reader will get used to, and he is saved by a centaur named Firenze. Movie!Firenze fucking sucks. I hate him. Book!Firenze is fucking awesome. Though not as awesome as Starkid!Firenze:
Look at that beast.
Firenze leads Harry to the conclusion that it is Voldemort under the hood, and he is drinking unicorn blood to strengthen himself in order to find the Scorcerer's Stone, which would keep him alive forever. Harry is only mildly worried about this.
So Harry is safe for now. He takes his exams, which are so not scary. He thenstarts thinking about why someone would give HAgrid a dragon egg. He figures out that it was to get Hagrid drunk and trusting, so that a person under a hood could as khim how to get past a three-headed dog. You know, just in case they ever meet one. Convientiently Harry figures this out after his last test. He, Ron, and Hermione are convinced that Snape is going to get the Stone for Voldemort, and natural figure that three of them can stop him. They go after the stone.
This is the test at the end to make sure you were paying attention. Get used to it, it happens at the end of every book.
First they need to get past Fluffy. They play a flute that Harry got for Christmas (from Hagrid, naturally), and the vicious beast falls asleep. They fall through the trap door, and onto a vicious bed of plant intent on strangling them. hermione has a moment of panic, then magics them up some fire to repel the damp plant. They then find themselves in a room full of flying keys and broomsticks. Good thing Harry is such a good damn seeker. They catch the right key and move on to the next room, which is a giant chessboard. Ron happens to be the reigning chess champion of the WORLD. He sacrifices himself, but only get knocked out. harry and Hermione move on to a potions challenge of logic. Hermione wins, picking the potion that will send Harry forward and herself back to help Ron. Harry is on his own.
We are met by the Mirror of Erised, an Professor Quirrel. turns out he was Voldy's stooge. That was legit a surprise, at least the first time around. Voldemort is hiding under his turban. Or just standing back to back with him, pick your interpretation. Harry looks in the Mirror, decides he wants the Stone just to hide it from Voldemort, and it magically appears in his pocket. Voldemortr knows he's lying, because Voldy is a creepy fuck. Quirrel tries to kill Harry, but he burns when he touches him. Neat trick, except it hurts Harry as well. Harry passes out, hearing someone call his name.
When he wakes up, he is in the hospital wing, with Dumbledore blinking down at him. So begins the tradition of Dumbledore explaining everything at the end. Harry's mother died to save him, which is why Quirrel was burning. That's important, remember that.
So ends the school year, and Harry is going back to the Dursley's, with a shiny new wand to threaten with. He seems to think he will have fun. We all know otherwise, because Harry's life fucking sucks.
And so ends the first, and most boring, book in the series. Seriously, things can only go up from here.
So, Sorcerer's Stone. How did it end?
Not terribly eventfully.
Yeah, I said it. The end is fucking boring. Especially compared to the other books.
But anyway, after Halloween, Harry plays Quidditch for the first time. He is staying out of trouble, until someone starts jinxing his broom, making it try to buck him off. Legit, this scene is suspenseful. It's fucking scary, possibly the scariest part of the book for me. It's the first time we are shown someone trying to kill Harry. Of course, we think it's Snape, but whatever. Someone is trying to kill this little 11 year old boy. That's scary. Anyway, Hermione saves the day. It's awesome. So begins the Snape hate, which lasts until a few seconds before he dies, six books later.
Hagrid becomes quite the trouble-maker in the second half of the book. First, he lets slip that he knows about the three-headed dog, has named him Fluffy, and knows what said dog is hiding. It has something to do with Nicholas Flamel. That name sounds familiar to Harry, and it should sound just as familiar to us. The really good people flipped back and found it. The rest of us were too lazy.
Anyway, our trio launches a massive library hunt for this name, using books that all have "modern" in the title, and fail tremendously.
Harry stays at Hogwarts for Christmas, which makes it the best Christmas he has ever had. We are reminded of how pathetic Harry's life has been when he is surprised he got presents. He and Ron play wizard chess, which you should also remember, and Ron kicks his ass. He also gets a surprise present from an anonymous donor, an invisibility cloak that belonged to Harry's dead father. His dad is dead...he has a dead father.
Harry puts the cloak to good use by sneaking into the library. Yup, that's the making of a rebel right there. Anyway, he goes to the Restricted Section, and a book literally screams at him. He runs away, but finds the Mirror of Erised, which shows him his entire fucking family. It takes him a minute to figure it out, but then he spends the next few nights just staring at them. Dumbledore finds him, and warns him that it might not be a good idea to stare at people he won't know. Dumbledore also tells him that the mirror will be moved to a new home, and that should alert the reader that we will find out where it goes. In case you hadn't noticed, Harry's life fucking SUCKS.
So everyone comes back for second semester (even if that's not what they are calling it), and Malfoy, surprisingly, is a douchebag. He teases Neville, who has yet to get in touch with his inner badass, and Harry comforts him in one of the sweetest moments of his life. He give Neville a chocolate frog, which reveals who the fuck Nicholas Flamel is. He made a Sorcerer's Stone. Holy Fuck. Turns out he's fucking ancient, and that's why all those modern books were a bad idea.
Harry, on his way back from Quidditch practice, overhears Snape and Quirrel talking in what seems to be a threatening manner. This is important, kind of.
Oh, and Hagrid has a fucking dragon egg.
Norbert is officially the cutest name for a dragon ever. I don't even like dragons, but I like a dragon named Norbert.
Harry and Hermione have to sneak Norbert away to Ron's brother Charlie. Ron would have helped, but the precious baby Norbert bit him. Malfoy rats them out, and Neville tries to warn them, meaning all four of them get caught for being out of bed after hours and are given detention, along with losing house points, which is still importatn at this point in the series. Their detention is with Hagrid, who takes four 11 year olds into the Forbbiden Forest to hunt a wounded unicorn. I honestly don't understand how Hogwarts was allowed to stay open. There are clearly no regulations on wizard schools.
Anyway, Harry finds the unicorn, and a hooded figure is drinking the poor dead (like Harry's dad) creature's blood. Harry's scar hurts, which both he and the reader will get used to, and he is saved by a centaur named Firenze. Movie!Firenze fucking sucks. I hate him. Book!Firenze is fucking awesome. Though not as awesome as Starkid!Firenze:
Look at that beast.
Firenze leads Harry to the conclusion that it is Voldemort under the hood, and he is drinking unicorn blood to strengthen himself in order to find the Scorcerer's Stone, which would keep him alive forever. Harry is only mildly worried about this.
So Harry is safe for now. He takes his exams, which are so not scary. He thenstarts thinking about why someone would give HAgrid a dragon egg. He figures out that it was to get Hagrid drunk and trusting, so that a person under a hood could as khim how to get past a three-headed dog. You know, just in case they ever meet one. Convientiently Harry figures this out after his last test. He, Ron, and Hermione are convinced that Snape is going to get the Stone for Voldemort, and natural figure that three of them can stop him. They go after the stone.
This is the test at the end to make sure you were paying attention. Get used to it, it happens at the end of every book.
First they need to get past Fluffy. They play a flute that Harry got for Christmas (from Hagrid, naturally), and the vicious beast falls asleep. They fall through the trap door, and onto a vicious bed of plant intent on strangling them. hermione has a moment of panic, then magics them up some fire to repel the damp plant. They then find themselves in a room full of flying keys and broomsticks. Good thing Harry is such a good damn seeker. They catch the right key and move on to the next room, which is a giant chessboard. Ron happens to be the reigning chess champion of the WORLD. He sacrifices himself, but only get knocked out. harry and Hermione move on to a potions challenge of logic. Hermione wins, picking the potion that will send Harry forward and herself back to help Ron. Harry is on his own.
We are met by the Mirror of Erised, an Professor Quirrel. turns out he was Voldy's stooge. That was legit a surprise, at least the first time around. Voldemort is hiding under his turban. Or just standing back to back with him, pick your interpretation. Harry looks in the Mirror, decides he wants the Stone just to hide it from Voldemort, and it magically appears in his pocket. Voldemortr knows he's lying, because Voldy is a creepy fuck. Quirrel tries to kill Harry, but he burns when he touches him. Neat trick, except it hurts Harry as well. Harry passes out, hearing someone call his name.
When he wakes up, he is in the hospital wing, with Dumbledore blinking down at him. So begins the tradition of Dumbledore explaining everything at the end. Harry's mother died to save him, which is why Quirrel was burning. That's important, remember that.
So ends the school year, and Harry is going back to the Dursley's, with a shiny new wand to threaten with. He seems to think he will have fun. We all know otherwise, because Harry's life fucking sucks.
And so ends the first, and most boring, book in the series. Seriously, things can only go up from here.