so excuse me mister
Today has been bouts of me studying intensely interspersed with eating, watching adorable (!!!) animals on tv, and listening to No Doubt very loudly. I used to study math and listen to them in like 8th grade, and for some reason I feel compelled to do so now.
I went outside and there was this car parked in front of my building, and it reminded me of my dad's car and it allowed me to come to the realization that I hoped I'd never come to: I MISS suburban Atlanta. Yes, that's right. There's an element of comfort that comes with Mansell Road and Alpharetta and the malls, and the SUVs that drive too fast along Eves Road. Yeah, I'm a creature of habit, and these things comprise what is familiar to me, and I desperately need something familiar right now. What can I say.
It really doesn't feel like I'm going home in 5 days. It's what I want more than ANYTHING right now, and somehow it doesn't seem real, like something bad will happen and stop me from actually getting there. I always have these thoughts before I travel, but I dunno.
I had the most bizarre dream last night. I'll spare some sordid details, but at one point, I was like in this ocean, and there were these hyper-Christian people like telling us to do these things that would extract us from comfortability and allow us to embrace reality or something. And in order to do this you had to do these exercises: (1) you had to go into this really little submarine and spin around underwater with your eyes open. (2) Go underwater, eat a spoonful of heroin grain (it looked like powder) and then come up, take a deep breath, go under again, and come up. And for some reason the heroin wasnt meant to be as bad in grain form. Needless to say, both of these experiments scared the shit out of me, even though everyone was doing them. So I refused. Then, in a hotel room with a certain exboyfriend, there was this pot of powder and he was like eating it and offered me some. And it was like meth, so I was like, no thanks. What the fuck?
I went outside and there was this car parked in front of my building, and it reminded me of my dad's car and it allowed me to come to the realization that I hoped I'd never come to: I MISS suburban Atlanta. Yes, that's right. There's an element of comfort that comes with Mansell Road and Alpharetta and the malls, and the SUVs that drive too fast along Eves Road. Yeah, I'm a creature of habit, and these things comprise what is familiar to me, and I desperately need something familiar right now. What can I say.
It really doesn't feel like I'm going home in 5 days. It's what I want more than ANYTHING right now, and somehow it doesn't seem real, like something bad will happen and stop me from actually getting there. I always have these thoughts before I travel, but I dunno.
I had the most bizarre dream last night. I'll spare some sordid details, but at one point, I was like in this ocean, and there were these hyper-Christian people like telling us to do these things that would extract us from comfortability and allow us to embrace reality or something. And in order to do this you had to do these exercises: (1) you had to go into this really little submarine and spin around underwater with your eyes open. (2) Go underwater, eat a spoonful of heroin grain (it looked like powder) and then come up, take a deep breath, go under again, and come up. And for some reason the heroin wasnt meant to be as bad in grain form. Needless to say, both of these experiments scared the shit out of me, even though everyone was doing them. So I refused. Then, in a hotel room with a certain exboyfriend, there was this pot of powder and he was like eating it and offered me some. And it was like meth, so I was like, no thanks. What the fuck?