the part where she decides what to do
Well, my friends, my far too pensive cigarette breaks have amounted to something.
This is going to be inane and self-absorbed, so stop reading now if you'd like to avoid that tonight.
So, over the past few months, I've struggled a lot with deciding whether or not I want to go to law school or just pursue writing/ maybe go to grad school and see what becomes of me. I think I'd be a very good lawyer, and if there were any nonartistic, professional trade that would be perfectly suited for me, that would probably be it. With that said, I've decided that if I go to law school and dive into that dog eat dog, scum-sucking, business schmoozing competition, than I might risk losing my soul.
That may be a bit harsh, and I would like to work in some substantial capacity for the ACLU or Planned Parenthood, BUT...
I realized that's sacrificing too much of myself. That sounds dumb, but it's true. I may be sacrificing a lot financially in not "securing" some profession by the time I'm 25, but I guess I'm going to have to be OK with that. I'd regret far more abandoning writing than I would abandoning my posh lifestyle. And it is posh. I do look good in nice things. I can schmooze with the best of them and talk about yuppy private schools' law programs like I'm gonna go there. But the truth is, I'm NOT. I guess I sort of have to eschew my first-born, type A, rich, bossy bitch outlook and deal with the fact that I can't let go of that much myself in exchange for buying designer shoes.
This might not make sense and it might make better lyrics to like fucking John Mayer or something. But....I've decided. I'm not used to not having security and I guess that sense of academic superiority (no, I don't actually believe in that shit, but it does influence you and make you feel like you've accomplished something). I wanted to be able to look down at a lot of those asshole, Republican, misogynist, arrogant lawyers that I've met and be like, 'Hey fuckface, I did it, too. Don't be so cocky.' But. I guess I'll have to just have to get over that some other way.
This has gone on forever and I apologize, and I know no one's gonna read it, but it's a big decision for me, and it really had to be made. I am not going to law school. I will write. Or try. Or something. I will be successful at something. I hope.
Ok, that is all.
This is going to be inane and self-absorbed, so stop reading now if you'd like to avoid that tonight.
So, over the past few months, I've struggled a lot with deciding whether or not I want to go to law school or just pursue writing/ maybe go to grad school and see what becomes of me. I think I'd be a very good lawyer, and if there were any nonartistic, professional trade that would be perfectly suited for me, that would probably be it. With that said, I've decided that if I go to law school and dive into that dog eat dog, scum-sucking, business schmoozing competition, than I might risk losing my soul.
That may be a bit harsh, and I would like to work in some substantial capacity for the ACLU or Planned Parenthood, BUT...
I realized that's sacrificing too much of myself. That sounds dumb, but it's true. I may be sacrificing a lot financially in not "securing" some profession by the time I'm 25, but I guess I'm going to have to be OK with that. I'd regret far more abandoning writing than I would abandoning my posh lifestyle. And it is posh. I do look good in nice things. I can schmooze with the best of them and talk about yuppy private schools' law programs like I'm gonna go there. But the truth is, I'm NOT. I guess I sort of have to eschew my first-born, type A, rich, bossy bitch outlook and deal with the fact that I can't let go of that much myself in exchange for buying designer shoes.
This might not make sense and it might make better lyrics to like fucking John Mayer or something. But....I've decided. I'm not used to not having security and I guess that sense of academic superiority (no, I don't actually believe in that shit, but it does influence you and make you feel like you've accomplished something). I wanted to be able to look down at a lot of those asshole, Republican, misogynist, arrogant lawyers that I've met and be like, 'Hey fuckface, I did it, too. Don't be so cocky.' But. I guess I'll have to just have to get over that some other way.
This has gone on forever and I apologize, and I know no one's gonna read it, but it's a big decision for me, and it really had to be made. I am not going to law school. I will write. Or try. Or something. I will be successful at something. I hope.
Ok, that is all.