the shit hits the fan
I'm in a bad place.
i always get myself in the same situations....it's hard to think it's NOT me that's the problem....maybe i just come on too strong....it's like a 2 month curse....i don't know what to do with myself now, i didn't have many friends that i hung out with before, even less now....because they're your friends too(mainly danielle)...and also because you see them more because i'm stuck at the diner...i just don't know what to do...and of course she's probably pissed at me for whatever reason, i'm sure you talk to her about stuff....stuff that doesn't exactly make her think "nate's such a great person"....i love how someone who's both of our friends really only tries to comfort you, hangs out with you when you're upset...oh don't worry about me....completely confused about why this all happened, you don't want to be around me, after we were soo close, i don't get it, why do you hate me?...errr.rr....you ever get that sinking feeling in your stomach when you think of bad stuff, then your whole body starts to ache?...then you start sweating and feel like you're going to vomit?...i can't eat...i don't sleep for more than a half hour at a time....i know it's only the first couple days...but it's been a rough couple days....i'm surprised i haven't been nagging you like i usually do in these circumstances....the one person i want/need to be around doesn't want to see me....maybe this is a cry for help, a cry for attention, so the fuck what.
so i had a chat with my mom...a heart to heart...the first one we've had in a long, loooong time. she thinks i'm meant to help people. the people i try to help never want it..
scotty's getting sick again...
my step-grandfather's in the hospital....
...and so is my cousin cathy.
i love coming home from work and getting all this shit dumped on me.
....i can't quite get it all out....i'll write more later.
i always get myself in the same situations....it's hard to think it's NOT me that's the problem....maybe i just come on too strong....it's like a 2 month curse....i don't know what to do with myself now, i didn't have many friends that i hung out with before, even less now....because they're your friends too(mainly danielle)...and also because you see them more because i'm stuck at the diner...i just don't know what to do...and of course she's probably pissed at me for whatever reason, i'm sure you talk to her about stuff....stuff that doesn't exactly make her think "nate's such a great person"....i love how someone who's both of our friends really only tries to comfort you, hangs out with you when you're upset...oh don't worry about me....completely confused about why this all happened, you don't want to be around me, after we were soo close, i don't get it, why do you hate me?...errr.rr....you ever get that sinking feeling in your stomach when you think of bad stuff, then your whole body starts to ache?...then you start sweating and feel like you're going to vomit?...i can't eat...i don't sleep for more than a half hour at a time....i know it's only the first couple days...but it's been a rough couple days....i'm surprised i haven't been nagging you like i usually do in these circumstances....the one person i want/need to be around doesn't want to see me....maybe this is a cry for help, a cry for attention, so the fuck what.
so i had a chat with my mom...a heart to heart...the first one we've had in a long, loooong time. she thinks i'm meant to help people. the people i try to help never want it..
scotty's getting sick again...
my step-grandfather's in the hospital....
...and so is my cousin cathy.
i love coming home from work and getting all this shit dumped on me.
....i can't quite get it all out....i'll write more later.