The good and the bad.
Breaking up is hard to do - especially when it's with your best friend.
It happened last night - I was going to wait until next weekend but he decided to give me a surprise visit last night and one thing led to the next. We haven't been amazing for a while - we fought too much and had lost the humor in our relationship - I think that we got too serious too soon. I do love him and he IS my best friend; we just weren't happy with each other.
I'm worried that we won't even be able to be friends. It's scary that our friendship is completely dependent on how we both act these next couple weeks. I'm not going to fuck around and get back together again. Being outside of a relationship does funny things to your brain... you generally tend to forget about the things that made the relationship not work in the first place and get back together without working on the old problems. People are stupid when it comes to love. Soon one things leads to another and you're back in the same place again.
It hurt so much to see how sad he was. He kept mentioning that he wished we could have worked out - I wonder, at this point, the exact same thing too. I keep having to remind myself that I wasn't happy for a very long time and I wasn't doing anything for his confidence levels. I didn't want to kiss, be intimate, anything more than cuddling.
My parents are there for me. My dad said the closest thing to I love you today that I've ever heard him utter - "You know that we both love you." I'm sure my mom will call tonight if I don't call her after work. It's weird how empty I feel - I realized the other day that I have been in one relationship or another for over two years. I don't even remember how to be single anymore. Will it absolutely and utterly suck? I guess we'll have to see, won't we?
I don't want to be in another relationship right away. Maybe give it at least a half a year if not more. I think I just need to start focusing on NOT letting this semester kick my ass and building up who I am as an individual. Maybe getting an organizational system going? Maybe a couple dates though? Time for me to get relatiophobic (I'm sure there's a more technical less fun word for that)
Right now I just need to focus on coming out of Chemistry II kicking ass and getting an A :)
I hope that you all are doing well - Smile.
It happened last night - I was going to wait until next weekend but he decided to give me a surprise visit last night and one thing led to the next. We haven't been amazing for a while - we fought too much and had lost the humor in our relationship - I think that we got too serious too soon. I do love him and he IS my best friend; we just weren't happy with each other.
I'm worried that we won't even be able to be friends. It's scary that our friendship is completely dependent on how we both act these next couple weeks. I'm not going to fuck around and get back together again. Being outside of a relationship does funny things to your brain... you generally tend to forget about the things that made the relationship not work in the first place and get back together without working on the old problems. People are stupid when it comes to love. Soon one things leads to another and you're back in the same place again.
It hurt so much to see how sad he was. He kept mentioning that he wished we could have worked out - I wonder, at this point, the exact same thing too. I keep having to remind myself that I wasn't happy for a very long time and I wasn't doing anything for his confidence levels. I didn't want to kiss, be intimate, anything more than cuddling.
My parents are there for me. My dad said the closest thing to I love you today that I've ever heard him utter - "You know that we both love you." I'm sure my mom will call tonight if I don't call her after work. It's weird how empty I feel - I realized the other day that I have been in one relationship or another for over two years. I don't even remember how to be single anymore. Will it absolutely and utterly suck? I guess we'll have to see, won't we?
I don't want to be in another relationship right away. Maybe give it at least a half a year if not more. I think I just need to start focusing on NOT letting this semester kick my ass and building up who I am as an individual. Maybe getting an organizational system going? Maybe a couple dates though? Time for me to get relatiophobic (I'm sure there's a more technical less fun word for that)
Right now I just need to focus on coming out of Chemistry II kicking ass and getting an A :)
I hope that you all are doing well - Smile.