6.05 Live Free or Twi Hard, Part 2/3
I've noticed a lot of anger lately toward one brother or another, even more so than any other year. Both have their camps and both are giving very convincing arguments for why the brother they love more is justified and how the other deserves everything that comes to him. I read those things and I lay aside the emotion and look at it objectively and I think, you know, they're BOTH right.... and they're BOTH wrong.
What we've come to expect from Sam and Dean -- Dean and Sam -- is exactly that: DEAN&SAM. Forever are the auspices of no space, no lies, no cross purposes, just two dudes hacking up monsters and hittin' the pavement to the next burger joint. But the truth is, they have BOTH ALWAYS kept secrets from one another at some point for varying reasons melting down to protecting the other one... it's been this way their whole lives. That's nothing new. And yet... this is all something new. It's on a level of intensity we only ever dreaded. It's so destructive that the very definition of monster comes into question.
Neither is doing anything to stay together. Neither is doing anything asked of them, in the other one's memory, now. And yet, neither of them get much flack for doing that. And yet... it begs the question: why does John get so much crap from fandom for his obsession to keep his promises to Mary? I never understood that. But anyway, that's water under the bridge...
I think, rather than have yet one more person try to explain what's going on here, I'd have more fun if I let them drive. And the oldest always gets to go first.
Here is Dean's side in so many words.
Sam is part 3.
Perhaps a more relevant question would be why Dean only sees things now. I don't think it's simply because he's a vampire. He's seen things before, when Andy sizzled his brain and tried to tell him that Sam was in Cold Oak.
Seeing as how Dean only has visions like this when someone sends messages to him, that must mean that Azazel was sending Sam all those visions, too, right? And seeing as how things ended up pretty much the way Azazel wanted them (except for the part where he died, haha), I think the visions can be useful, but only if they know what they're up against.
Maybe that's why Sam was asking him how it felt. He suspected a connection of this sort because it's what he's always dealt with and he wanted to know what Dean could hear, see, feel... like how Dean used to ask questions when Sam had a headache that crippled him. Where Sam has come to rely on Dean -- and his personality would lead him to accept the support -- Dean has never had anyone to lean on that way, so he pushes Sam away because it makes him just that much more uncomfortable.
Speaking of uncomfortable, it's like being Batman... with the bat hearing. Especially for clocks. Especially for clocks that roll to 11:11 like that's not a tease to make a wish to be a real boy or like a ridiculous reference to Revelations and the rising of the two witnesses... is it.
*squints at Show*
Eh, screw it. My brain runs in circles all the time, but doing it this way seems harder, tahirire. My OCD is making me twitchy. In fact, this scene pretty much lays out our relationship, doesn't it? I could substitute your name for Dean and my name for Sam and it would be pretty much the gist of every conversation we've ever had on Skype.
Tahirire: *finds link*
Blacklid: Dear god, what is that? That's just uncomfortable.
Blacklid: *hits a wall... is thinking*
Tahirire: Oh no, look at this. This is SO WRONG.
Blacklid: Dude, I'm trying to concentrate.
*flat stare*
Tahirire: DID YOU KNOW YOUR ATTENTION SPAN SUCKS? I MEAN IT REALLY SUCKS.
Blacklid: OMG BE QUIET FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, I'M TYYYYPINGGG.
Tahirire: You know, I ate that sandwich earlier ... it looked like this guy's face.
Blacklid: DUDE. SHUT UP.
Tahirire: Hey, I can do five things at once.
Blacklid: *caged scream*
Tahirire: I had this dream i don't remember it. i think it was Bleach related. at least Rukia was there i think. and there was a bunch of sword fighting. or something. And, in Bleach terms, the spiritual pressure was very distracting.
Blacklid: *sounds of my typing in other window*
Tahirire: Maybe you should work on your concentration skills.
Blacklid: ... I can make it all stop with the power of my mind. *hands*
Tahirire: *types quietly in other window*
All I'm gonna say about the Twilight stuff is that I LOVED IT, especially her dropping her Apple iPhone and him catching it, and the long beats, and the campy dialog, and her dad thinking she was on the drugs. And maybe I live under a rock, but I've heard no Twihards complaining about the episode, or saying that they thought it was anything other than funny and a well-aimed jab. For all its originality, it's not a hard series to make fun of. But it does have some salient points, like the mind reading capabilities. At least "Cynthia Rose" kinda got that part right... maybe a little too Ivy League, not enough Ivy Macramé. Also? That desktop face looked like one of those Jared / Jensen baby maker things on the internet. IT CREEPED ME OUT.
It might just be me, but he looks older in this scene than he does the whole rest of the time. He's got the Dad side of him taking over, shaping the minds of the Future Farmers of America, and it's kinda all over his face what the late nights can do to a guy who worries.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBOP. *smacks little bunny FooFoo*
I've harped on this enough. Thank you, Show, for clearing that up in no uncertain terms.
Now I'm just waiting for the whole OMG, WHY ARE ONLY THE NONHUMAN CHARACTERS GAY and that will happen en masse because everyone will have forgotten about Corbett of Ghostfacers' non-fame and I will headdesk and it will be fun watching Misha protest by showing us more of his ass.
Where was I? Oh, yes.
Part of me was excited to see Dean as a monster -- we've only ever been teased with it and here it is! Yay! the most difficult part in watching him get turned was that he wasn't given a choice. You could say that Sam could have rescued him, and he could have, but that's almost beside the point. The plain fact is that Sam feels the need to lie to Dean about the alphas and Dean doesn't know why. Sam and Samuel could have told him why they wanted the hunt, why they trusted him to do it, how they wanted him to be the bait, as so many hunters have done before. Mix that with a shot of whiskey and a good dose of the "nice to be needed again" medicine and Dean might have actually come around to it or suggested another way... because he's smart.
What makes Sam a monster in this situation is that he doesn't even consider giving Dean the choice. That much tarnishing of the one person you have to trust your life with... well, a little goes a long way.
When Dean turns, he's not tempted to drink Sam. It doesn't seem to tempt him in the slightest. So it does not occur to him at first that Sam is an exception. He figures that if he loves the person enough, he won't want to attack them.
He goes to see Lisa because he'll never get to see her again and she deserves to hear a thank you in person, like she's been wanting after him being on the road so long. But when he gets there, he breaks in like a monster would. He could have knocked on the door, used the key, but he doesn't. He uses the second story window and is so quiet that he doesn't wake them. He can stand there and enjoy watching her sleep, listen to her heartbeat, remember the warmth, feel her desire to give him anything and everything he needs if he'll take care of her, too.
Oh, he'll take care of her, alright. They'll be together forever...Oops.
Of course, by the time he gets back, Sam has left to look for him and he leans on the freezer, using the drone of the compressor to drown out the sounds of the other people in the building, thinking about how he would have killed two of the people he cares about most in life and yet he doesn't feel the urge when it's Sam. He could rationalize it away and tell himself that it's just because, hey, it's Sam, but the truth is... it can't be. Not after this. Not after he almost ate his own kid.
So it's not just the human part that he wants. It can't be. It has to be more complicated than that. It has to have something to do with a life force or something, like a striga sucking on someone's vitae but without the need for a cleanup on aisle 5. Man, strigas had it easier... hold on, whatinhell is he thinking... and then the door opens and Samuel walks in.
He doesn't want him, either.
Something's not right. But he can't worry about that now. Now, he needs to die. Hell, at the rate they're going, maybe he'll come back right as rain. Maybe he'll stay dead. Either way, there's not much of a downside. Except for how he hates to leave. That, and he feels younger and more spry than he has in... well, almost two years. He looks it, too. Younger. At least he can see himself in the mirror. Freak.
The soup thing, though -- that will probably hurt less than dying again, he's pretty sure. And if he can smell them, he's pretty sure they know where he is, too. He has to be careful, what he says, what he hears, what he repeats, or they won't trust him enough to make it inside -- they'll kill him on the spot. He talks his way out of it as fast as he can while he thinks about all the people in the building he'd love to be sucking on right now, and he leaves like his ass is on fire.
Getting in is gonna be the easy part. Getting out... he might never get out if he can't swallow down the urge to kill them all and then himself. Could he? Kill himself... he contemplates that complex scenario... maybe a machete on a bungee... when the door opens.
And man, is he hungry. He hasn't eaten since lunch the day before and he can't risk it. He's never wanted anything other than red meat anyway, but now he wants it raw, just raw, preferably with everything still attached, maybe hanging upside down like those meat lockers at the store... no, he can't risk it, doesn't matter what kinda blood it is. He has to give up what he wants most to have what he wants most. Now there's a shot in the crotch.
He could spin this kid the fantasy he just had, including the shot in the crotch part, but he's more caught up in the revelation that they aren't allowed to kill anyone anymore. Company line? Is that publicly or privately held? Are people like stock? Do they get a choice in it? Or is that choice only used against them? Why would anyone CHOOSE this anyway? I don't even know. It makes sense, considering their numbers, that they'd want to lay low and fit the profiles of regular perps, so that they don't bring a whole host of hunters down on their heads... but their numbers makes it hard to understand why they would be afraid of hunters by now.
But dude, you did not just call him "bro". Huh UH. Hnt-mm. Also? Nobody is pimping him. You can call it "recruiting" all you want. Whoring is not a game he's gonna play for your team either. No. Denied. This can't be a long term strategic op, now. He's gotta get in and get out.
The building looks like an old train station and the clock is frozen on "store-bought" time. Also, the switches between the yellow and the blue camera filters is making me see colors that I didn't think existed in the natural world. Or maybe they don't... if you're a vampire.
Click to view
Download this mp3 from Beemp3.com
He looks at the addicts in the cages and he feels bad for Kirsten, who had no idea that her favorite escape was going to turn into something from which there is no escape... that there's no curing her now, no saving any of them. But then again... maybe they would have held out if they'd known there was one.
They keep asking him if he's eaten and if he got away from that hunter that chased a laughing Boris away in the alley. At least they can't read his mind like he thought they might be able to, but he can tell that he is vastly outnumbered, even without the use of his eyeballs. Maybe they are just more like dogs than people... loyal to a fault and not very sophisticated or disciplined...
...like little puppies in crates, nibbling on anything that moves.... or doesn't move, maybe. Ew. But the last thing he ever expects to hear is that cages are for compliance.
CAGES. ARE FOR COMPLIANCE. ONCE THEY COMPLY, THEY GET OUT.
They get out, and they hunt, and they bring others in, and around and around it goes.
Huh.
He can smell this guy from miles away and now he's right up under his nose, asking him if he wants the private tour and licking his lips like this is going to get super personal, real damn quick. He can't go back there. He won't do it, he won't go that far, even if it means they're alone in a room and he can stick him where it counts... god, not like that. He has to do it now. He has to take advantage of the attraction, the trust for Boris to turn his back on him, before he gets stuck in a cage himself. But the blood gives him away.
AND MAN, DO I LOVE THAT CAMERA WORK AND THE EDITING ON THIS AND HOW ALL THE SIGNS THAT POINT TO ESCAPE ARE HALF OUT OR HALF BLOCKED FROM THE CAMERA SO THAT THEY ONLY SAY "EX" AND I WANT TO KNOW WHO THOUGHT OF THAT SO I CAN BUY THEM A BIG BOX OF COOKIES.
Who knows what parts Boris would have bit into first to teach him a lesson, but whichever part it was, it was probably gonna be personal... and he probably wasn't going to live through it. He'd be dead. Again.
But someone saved him: The Father. (Oh, hello, yellow camera filter that they also use for blood, because yellow has never stood for evil; it stands for blood granted a supernatural power ... angelic levels of power.) How come every time someone wants to kill him, they get their ass handed to them? Are all the Fathers wanting him to live for something? What do they want him for? He's a total rebel to their cause and yet they refuse to let him get axed. It's like they WANT him to know these things... BUT WHY?
IDUNNO. There's only light and thunder. Who knows how long they've been out because time doesn't move here, but they're coming to get him. He's gotta kick it into high gear or he's toast... and he sure can't drink them to get a boost. He's gotta go in raw and red eyed.
And he swings with memory. He slices them to pieces. He jumps two stories and lands on his feet --- some things about this gig are cool -- if he wasn't vamped out, he'd be dead right now. He guesses Sam had some kind of plan to this, but he really doesn't wanna know why. He doesn't care right now that he hasn't stopped what's coming. All he cares about is staying alive. Really, alive.
So what if Sam is gonna think this is the alpha. He'd be wrong. So he hacks him up. Guy was askin' for it. He rolls his head slowly with the tip of his boot, watching the only blood that can save him ooze all over the floor -- story of his life. He props his foot on the head of his enemy, almost biblically, waiting for the end to come, because sitting there waiting for backup in the time that doesn't exist can be a bitch when you still gotta pee.
He's worked up a hunger even he can't fathom and he can hear Sam and Samuel as soon as they get inside the building, let alone the room. Standing next to them is torture. It was an annoying dull roar before. Now it's so annoying that he'll cut it off the damning way if he has to -- shut up, shut up, shut up. He takes the cup and says goodbye. See you. Maybe.
THERE ARE NOT WORDS FOR THE SHAPE MY FACE MADE WHEN HE PUKED BLUE. Carnivàle shout out. I HAVE DIED HAPPY. POWERS. powers! POWERS! bring on the kiddie rides.
What he didn't expect was to live Kindom of Hearts in real life, watching the last 12 hours flash before his eyes in reverse rewind. Watching Sam stop and stare ... and smirk.
Then, he doesn't feel anything.
(Reverse rewind of No Rest For the Wicked FOR THE WIN, except now his eyes see so much more darkness than they ever did back then)
Blissful silence is interrupted by a siren and he sits up to a look of pride on ... this thing's face ... and he's not among family anymore. Only monsters would turn someone they love into a monster, too. Only a monster would put someone at risk -- allow them to be used involuntarily. Only someone without a conscience...
He shrugs them off, crawls into the bathroom and shuts the door. He waits out the night on the floor. Alone. Not sure if living was the right choice. He falls asleep on the tile. When the sun is up, he runs hot water and sits in the shower until the red of the blood is gone, the sound of bones crunching is gone, the sound of souls lost is drowned out in feeling alive.
There's no openness to talking about his feelings. That's not the kinda feelings they're asking about. So he tells them what they want to know, gives them the good news -- like anything's good about there being an alpha out there -- and the bad news -- that they are no longer a threat. They're outnumbered and it's only getting worse. The only one who seems to have a clue what's coming is the alpha, so at least they are in agreement on that.
He talks all morning about it until he can't talk anymore and he goes outside and calls Lisa. Second biggest mistake of his new life. Probably. Talking to this thing like it's his brother is probably the first. He's escaped again into something from which there is no escape.
[part three soon]