5.22 Swan Song, Part 2
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WHEN THE LEVEE BREAKS
The important stuff is what happens in your own backyard.
That's how it all begins. That simple. And this is where it ends.
Right here.
Between two brothers.
In Bobby's parking lot.
Three Days Grace - Never Too Late .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine
(click above to play, right-click below to download)
This world will never be, what I expected. / And if I don't belong who would have guessed it? / I will not leave alone everything that I own / to make you feel like it's not too late. / It's never too late.
Even if I say "It will be all right," / still I hear you say you want to end your life... / Now and again we try to just stay alive. / Maybe we'll turn it around, / 'cause it's not too late. / It's never too late.
No one will ever see this side reflected. / And if there's something wrong, who would have guessed it...? / And I have left alone everything that I own. / To make you feel like it's not too late. / It's never too late.
The world we knew won't come back. / The time we've lost can't get back. / The life we had won't be ours again. / This world will never be what I expected./ And if I don't belong. / Maybe we'll turn it all around / 'cause it's not too late. / It's never too late. (It's never too late!) / It's not too late. It's never too late.
Sam knows they're about to hit ground zero and never come back. They could go anywhere they wanted, do anything they wanted. But what Sam wants the most in the world right now is right here: it's what they always do after they live through a hunt: he wants to sit on the roof of the car and have a beer and not have to say a word. It doesn't matter where they are, just that she's there. That he's home.
He sat out there for a really long time, you know. He took the whole cooler with him and just disappeared. He sat on the hood and thought to himself. (The beer was just to keep him occupied.) He thought about how he'd stood here three years ago and convinced Bobby that "we aren't just gonna give up on--" ...well. And how Dean had made her whole again, day after day, without ever blaming him... or taking a break. The look on Dean's face when he'd gotten her back to prime... worth more than gold. And he'd finally learned how to take care of her. He'd learned from the best and he did his best to look after her. He wondered who would take care of her when he was - when they were - gone someday... who would even want her. If anyone would wonder where she'd been and what she'd done. If they would care that she has a soul... /in my head
Like Dean, I'd almost get out here and then I'd have to take a walk and try to calm myself down some more, because what they have to say here is so hard and so right and so very heroic that I literally can't stand it. *tears up again* It took Dean a long time to be able to have this conversation,
but...
THIS IS WHERE THEY WIN. RIGHT. HERE.
Sam is a ninja/John Travolta/Gary Cooper! Dean is a pirate/Nick Cage/Grace Kelly!
It doesn't matter what happens to them from here on out. This is where they really make the choice, and you know they're going to follow through on it, because they're Winchesters and they keep their word. But they take the victory right here. They might die, it might suck, they might be torn away from each other again, more than likely they'll lose each other, but if they're going down, they're going down together and that's it. Now the world can't lose.
It's one thing to keep telling each other that, and it's something else entirely to hear the other one say, "I get it. I'm with you."
The three times that Sam thought that Dean denied him -- when he thought Dean had totally lost faith in him -- when Dean really left him, Dean was standing right there. And they were these three: The three times he heard Dean tell him that he was a monster, in the Panic Room, at the crossroads in the Voice Mail, and in the Honeymoon Suite when Dean told him that if he walked out, to never come back. At those times, it didn't matter necessarily that it was real. What mattered was that Sam believed it.
Dean saying that he's going to back Sam's play, even though every fiber in him hates it, hearing that? Knowing that it's 100% true? Means more than anything to Sam.
It means that he can do it. He wouldn't be able to go through with it, otherwise.
This is the real deal, the real crossroads, the real blues.
Dean's had to let go before. He can do it again. *believes*
Dean: Actually, I want you know... I mean don't think--
Sam: Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
Dean: Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.
Sam: You serious?
Dean: You've always known what you want and you go after it. You stand up to Dad. You always have. Hell, I wish I'd... anyway, I admire that about you. I'm proud of you, Sammy.
Sam: I don't even know what to say.
Dean: Say you'll take care of yourself.
Sam: I will.
--Scarecrow
*grips Dean's chin and kisses him on the cheek*
All of those times, when all was darkest and Dean was at the mercy of those who wanted to sacrifice him to their God "for the good of the many" (including Scarecrow), Sam came back in time. Just like when Dean dropped Sam off in Palo Alto and listened to the voice inside him that said Sam was in trouble, Dean came back in time. Just like at the Mystery Spot, when Sam kept waking up to Asia "In The Heat Of The Moment" ...and when he finally figured out how to save Dean from there, he woke up to Huey Lewis & The News air "Back In Time". Just like all the times they've saved each other.
They always go BACK. IN. TIME.
Sam: Don't worry. I will be back in time. I promise.
--The Pilot
It was never about traveling through time. It was about saving people. Every time they have gone back, the only thing that they were ever allowed to change was the only thing that would save each other: their real home... the Impala.
Is it a coincidence that saving each other also just so happens to save the world? It's a neat metaphor, but I think it's very literal, too.
Sam and Dean are two sides of the same coin. You can't have one without the other.
Sam could never seem to be back in time to save the ones he cared about most, except for Dean because Dean is all he would need. Everything else that Sam did seemed to make things worse. One could argue that it was because he was "special" and had a "destiny", but it wasn't that. Sure, he was tainted, but so was Dean, just in different ways. Sam thought he had to do something epic because he was special, but Dean always knew that doing something special makes you epic. Sam has to save the whole world. Dean just wants to save Sam. Sam is his world. Which, if you think about it, is true for everyone. Your family, blood or not, is your world.
Shinedown - Simple Man .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine
(click above to play, right-click here to download)
And who do you think taught Dean that to begin with? John.
Sometimes he taught him by being wrong and admitting it later; other times, he taught him by using enough repetition to melt Dean's brain; other times, he taught him by being right. Sure, they had issues. He always felt like Sam was the favorite. He knows his mom loved him with that attentive kind of love, even though the loser angels tried to take that from him, he knows better. Sam never had that. But John's example, loving someone who can be hard to love because you butt heads all the time, well... I don't know who else Dean could have learned that from.
John: You’re right.
Dean: I am?
John: It scares the hell out of me. You two are all I’ve got. But I guess we are stronger as a family. So... we go after this damn thing... together.
Sam and Dean together: Yes, Sir.
--Dead Man's Blood
John: ... I stopped being your father. And I - I became your, your drill sergeant. So when you said that you wanted to go away to school, all I could think about, my only thought was that you were going to be alone...vulnerable. Sammy, it just - it never occurred to me what you wanted. I just couldn’t accept the fact that you and me - we’re just different.
[Sam laughs.]
John: What?
Sam: We’re not different. Not anymore. With what happened to Mom and Jess, we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone.
John: I guess you’re right, son.
Sam: Hey, Dad? Whatever happened to that college fund?
John: Spent it on ammo.
--Dead Man's Blood
But why does it have to be John's sons? I could go back through the Jericho curse here, or you could just click here... or you can keep going. Suffice it to say, the family curse is lifted with the sacrifice these two are making. John wanted to save his sons from it, but he was never there in time. He may not have been chosen to finish it... but they couldn't have done it without him.
Dean: For the last time, what happened to them is not your fault.
Sam: Yeah, you’re right, it’s not my fault, but it’s my problem!
Dean: No, it’s not your problem. It’s our problem!!
John: Okay. That’s enough. Look, I wish I had more answers. I do. I’ve always been one step behind it. Look, I’ve never gotten there in time to save...
--Salvation
John: I’ve been waiting a long time for this fight. Now it’s here, and I’m not gonna be in it. It’s up to you boys now. It’s your fight, you finish this. You finish what I started. You understand?
--Devil's Trap
John may have felt like he never got back in time to save anyone, but he did save the man who would ultimately finish it, and he raised two men who could do everything he asked of them and more.
Dean: No, that's the thing. It's not on me to let you do anything. ... This is what you want, I'll back your play.
Sam: That's the last thing I thought you'd ever say.
Dean: Might be. Not gonna lie to you though. It goes against every fiber I got. The truth is, watching out for you? It's kinda been my job, you know, but more than that... it's kinda who I am. ... I don't know if we've got a snowball's chance... but I do know that if anybody can do it, it's you.
Sam: Thank you.
Sam isn't the only one who gave up everything he has, everything he is, to do the right thing. Dean did, too. He's the big brother. He has to jump in first... and it just took every bit of faith he has left.
But he did it. *is proud*
*happy sad sigh* OUR BOYS ARE ALL GROWED UP. *sniffles proudly*
Dude, you sound like crap. Can I mother you for just a sec? *swipes Dean's beer and hands him some ginger green tea and an ice pack and a blanket and reruns of Sanford and Son for his sniffles*
Okay, that's it, then.
*nods*
Yes, okay, it's been fun y'all, see you on down the road *waves* --oh. You mean we have to actually do this? *tenses* Alright. But, not before I get to hang out in Bobby's shed.
*gets lost for a few*
PART THREE: Hunted
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