5.22 Swan Song, Part 9
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MONSTER MOVIE
Bring me to life.
Most monsters are called that because they try to arrest a human's free will. Angels have to -- others of them want to -- play at being us, even while they claim to hate us. They know that we have something that they will never have... not just sex and chocolate cake... and then more sex.
Lucifer wants to feel alive. He may claim to think that we're all just monkeys, but he wouldn't kill Sam, would never hurt Sam. Sam is special. Sam is one of the ones he wants to keep, on whom he made sure that Croatoan would have no effect. Those in a certain... bloodline. The ones who can be vessels.
He wants to be human and feel love... and he wants Sam to love him. So, he goes about trying to convince Sam that he should. And in his mind, the greatest hurdle to his success is Sam's connections to any other human being, which is why everyone he loves dies. And the biggest bump in the road? Dean.
Lucifer wants Sam to save him.
OMG I CANNOT EVEN PROCESS HOW MUCH AWESOME IS IN THIS SCENE.
Evanescence - Bring Me to Life .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine
(click above to play, right-click below to download)
How can you see into my eyes like open doors? / Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb / Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold / Until you find it there and lead it back home / (Wake me up) / Wake me up inside / (I can't wake up) / Wake me up inside / (Save me) / Call my name and save me from the dark / (Wake me up) / Bid my blood to run / (I can't wake up) / Before I come undone / (Save me) / Save me from the nothing I've become / Now that I know what I'm without / You can't just leave me / Breathe into me and / (Make me real) / Bring me to life / (Wake me up) / Wake me up inside / (I can't wake up]) / Wake me up inside / (Save me) / Call my name and save me from the dark / (Wake me up) / Bid my blood to run / (I can't wake up) / Before I come undone / (Save me) / Save me from the nothing I've become / Bring me to life / I've been living a lie / There's nothing inside / Bring me to life / Frozen inside without your touch / Without your love, darling / Only you all the life upon the die / (All of this I, I can't believe I couldn't see / Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me) / I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems / Got to open my eyes to everything / (Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul) / (Don't let me die here) / (There must be something more) / Bring me to life / (Wake me up) / Wake me up inside / (I can't wake up]) / Wake me up inside / (Save me) / Call my name and save me from the dark / (Wake me up) / Bid my blood to run / (I can't wake up) / Before I come undone / (Save me) / Save me from the nothing I've become / Bring me to life / (I've been living a lie / There's nothing inside) / Bring me to life
1997 May 2:
Sammy is fourteen years old today. He's been having strange dreams again. I've tried to keep an eye out for any signs that he's more than a regular kid, but I don't see them. He's sensitive, has a lot of imagination, but that's about it. ... But Sammy just shuts down sometimes. Won't talk to anyone, and when he does, it's only because he wants to argue about something. He's got all the willpower us Winchesters are known for, but in him it sits quietly. You don't notice it's there until he decides he feels strongly enough about something that he won't comprise. Then you might as well wrestle angels.
--John's Journal
Sam has been blind and deaf and mute until now and the first thing he hears is that hey, Lucifer isn't a bad guy, he's just misunderstood. Sam doesn't know for sure if Dean's alive, if any of them are alive, and he's had nothing but the sound of his own heartbeat drowning out everything but Lucifer and his practically orgasmic appreciation of Sam's... everything... and I am gonna be sick.
Lucifer wants Sam to be happy because it makes Lucifer feel happiness again and he wants Sam to be his family, or have his family back, if it takes that, because Lucifer wants to feel belonging again and right now? I want Sam to get crabs again so Lucifer can feel THAT... what an effing parasite. But that's not the only reason he wants to keep Sam as docile as a Hindu cow. /Fight Club
I love how Lucifer keeps reminding Sam that his anger is something he'll be able to use against him, young Skywalker. Because it's the catalyst for The Force! I love it because that works BOTH WAYS -- Lucifer might be able to use it, but so can Sam. It's a threat to Lucifer, but it's one he enjoys challenging. Just like Lucifer doesn't want Dean to show up later and try to take Sam away, so he feeds him a line about destiny, he doesn't want Sam to get angry, so he tells him that it will only blow up in his face. He wants to CONVINCE the boys that they are useless and have them give up voluntarily rather than beating them to a pulp, because any bully can do that.
Dear Lucifer,
ICWYDT.
-Lid, who thinks that people who say that anger is a sin are reading it wrong
All his life, Sam has never wanted to live by the gun. He wanted to use diplomacy and reason. He has fought the urge to rise to anger because its effects were so strong that they've caused telekinetic supernovas in closets more than once. It's scary. More than that, it's a power over people that he didn't want to have. He'd rather convince them that he was right. He's lost his cool (ah-haha), sure, especially with Dean and his father, but he also knows that a lot of his anger stems from the losses he's sustained. It's about wanting to stop the monster who did this.
Now, he's facing the master of that strategy and seeing in the mirror just what effect a twisted mind can have on logic and diplomacy and reason... makes him want the gun and the righteous, animalistic rage and all the willpower that he can muster.
Tahirire: People were so chagrined over it (The Monster At The End Of This Book) that everyone forgot that it was the first time Dean prayed, for one thing
Blacklid: yeah, I know.
MuseSam: Cas' faith in Dean was finally sanctioned after Dean showed that he still had faith in God.
Tahirire: and how no matter how hard Sam and Dean tried to get off the prophesied track, nothing happened that Chuck hadn't seen until CAS broke the rules, the same way that the fight was going to happen just as it had been foretold with Michael and Lucifer until Cas broke the rules again. Since Cas is an agent of fate, he can ... screw up the ineffiability, lol. That's why God kept bringing him back. He doesn't influence their choices, but he opens new doors for them.
Blacklid: Precisely.
Tahirire: You think Sam was immune to Lilith because he was Lucifer's vessel? Obviously she figured it out right around 4.18, because that was when she learned what she'd have to do to break the final seal. You think Lilith's power was tied to Lucifer since he created her himself and so that's why her light didn't touch Sam? And she didn't figure out who Sam was until she tried to fire the light at him and it didn't work - because before that she was trying to kill him, and after, she was making sure HE didn't kill HER until the right time?
Blacklid: *nods slowly*
Tahirire: I AM THE PROPHET. CHUCK. *loves*
Blacklid: So... Castiel is the Companion Cube Aziraphale?
Tahirire: yep
Blacklid: yep
MuseSam: Cas used the back door.
Tahirire: yep
Blacklid: yep
MuseSam: yep
I'm not entirely sure that Cas approves this message. ... *snerk*
It's like that ancient time when that guy Job lost all of his wealth and his kids and his reputation and his health and all his friends were like, Jeez, dude, what you do to make God so angry, and Job was like, DAMFINO, I try to be a good dude and pay my taxes and take out the trash.
Well, he didn't do anything. He was doin' it right. He was just a bet in a high stakes card game.
And when his Friend won, Job got all the winnings.
I'm betting on Dean.
PART TEN: My Bloody Valentine
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