5.22 Swan Song, Part 21
MAIN | PART 20
THE END
The beginning of something new.
Sam: You sacrificed everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother. I would do anything for you.
--All Hell Breaks Loose II
Dean doesn't remember wrenching himself away from the side of the Impala. He doesn't remember trying to stand up and failing, crawling over to the spot where everything was normal except for four freezeburnt rings cooling in the grass. He waited for it to open again, for a voice to rise out of it and say, "Sorry, I forgot you. Come on," and he would fall in after it. But nothing like that happened. Nothing happened at all. Bobby was dead. Cas was gone. Sam... all he could hear was Sam's voice. Dean sat there for a long time. It was so long that his legs went to sleep and his face went numb and his arms felt like they'd never move again, and the only thing that was real, the only thing that moved for a very long time, was the water from the sweat dripping down his back. If he waited long enough, his heart would stop.
Revelation 9:6 And in those days men shall seek death, and Shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them. 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Dean can't die.
He can't be sad without forgetting how proud he is of Sam.
He can't get his brother back.
He can barely cry.
As emotional as he is, it's numb, he can't really feel anything.... anything at all.
Nothing.
*deep clown voice*
Dean. Son... you have looked through the nothing, forgotten yourself completely and lost the desire to continue. You have found the No Key Gate. You may enter. What you seek is on the other side.
*static*
MuseSam: Cas always uses two fingers--
Lid: OH STOP.
Oh, Dean, you got your wish, but those never turn out for you the way you meant them to, do they?
So, to those who had the nerve to give Dean crap for not being able to cry? It burned. HDU.
Does Dean still have a hand print on his shoulder?
Dean: Cas? Are you God?
Cas: Noes, n00b. I am jus invisble baffs.
It iz writed:
7 Invisibuhl airplane for Happycat! Everwun will see him in teh airplane, even tho iz invisibuhls. Even thoze bad doodz who wuz so mean will seez him, and everwun will be totally bummed. Srsly. 8 Teh Ceiling Cat sez "iz teh lolfa n iz lolmega n i allwayz haz been n allwayz will be also i haz strongness! rawr"
--Revel a Shun 1!
Cas is NEW!! and IMPROVED!! and I want a picture of it with his face pasteded on, like, a laundry detergent box or something. IT HALPS YER WHITEZ WHITER AND YER COLORZ COLORIER. AMEN.
He raises Bobby from the neck twisty deadness and I cringe mightily at the sounds of warp healing bones. I was really glad that Bobby was rewarded for his loyalty and brought back, but I imagine that he went to heaven for a couple minutes and had a really good time with a couple girls and a margarita in the Cayman Islands and wouldn't that be better than being here? I guess Dean needs him, huh? Awww, yay. Also, Cas would only bring Bobby back from that, I think, if he was fairly certain that Bobby wasn't facing certain death and hell in the foreseeable future thanks to Crowley which makes me think that Cas kinda trusts a demon, even, and that's just BZUH and WHUT and kinda awesome. *breathes*
Dude... any chapped ass monkey can poop out a beginning? HEY!
You tied it all up pretty good, if you ask me... which not to say that you're a chapped ass monkey, but I might be... not, I mean, I'm just... throwing it out.
The Bravery - Believe .mp3he Bravery - Believe .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine
(click above to play or right-click below to download)
The faces all around me they don't smile they just crack / Waiting for our ship to come but our ships not coming back / We do our time like pennies in a jar / What are we saving for [x2] / There's a smell of stale fear that's reeking from our skins./ The drinking never stops because the drinks absolve our sins / We sit and grow our roots into the floor / But what are we waiting for? [x2] / So give me something to believe / Cause I am living just to breathe / And I need something more / To keep on breathing for / So give me something to believe / I am hiding from some beast / But the beast was always here / Watching without eyes / Because the beast is just my fear / That I am just nothing / Now its just what I've become / What am I waiting for / Its already done
New and Improved Castiel says that, with Michael in the cage, that he's sure it's total anarchy up there. OooohhohhoOOhhh. I like this game. Round 2. Heaven. FIGHT.
HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT GOD WANTS. IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
Gee, Dean, if you weren't so... nothing, right now, we'd all actually worry about you gunning for God. But we all know you're bluffing... mostly.
Dean realizes too late that he got what he asked for -- to have nothing to worry about anymore -- and that it means not getting Sam back. Because what is family but a raging pain in the ass?
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE? PEACE? OR FREEDOM?
And there it is. Don't cry for me, Argentina.
Please don't cry one tear for me / I'm not afraid of what I have to say / This is my one and only voice / So listen close, it's only for today / I just saw Hailey's Comet; she waved / Said, "Why are you always running in place? / Even the man in the moon disappeared / Somewhere in the stratosphere" / Tell my mother, tell my father / I've done the best I can
Dean driving with a broken windshield just makes me think about how many miles he could have pretended that Sam could be in the seat next to him... if it weren't for all of his cracks.
*dies*
Bobby can always help Dean fix up the Impala, but he can't always help fix Dean. They are back to being fine on the outside, but as we all know, appearances mean so very little. All the same, Dean's getting more hugs than I remember him getting in years and that makes me smile through my sobs.
OH HEY! *icons stock footage (Roadkill?) from when she still had her spotlights*
She looks as utterly wrecked and relieved as I felt watching them, seeing Dean standing there like that, barely holding it together.
Dear Lisa,
THANK YOU.
-Lid
If Dean had not left Bobby's and gone to Lisa's like he promised Sam, I think he would have been of a mind to put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger... because it would work this time. So, in his own way, Sam saved Dean, too. I'm so glad Dean went back in time to pick up where they'd barely begun. I'm grateful to her like you wouldn't believe. She's amazing.
Muse Dean: They know I didn't stay, right? That first night? I didn't just invite myself into her life. I didn't just crash on her couch and get up and mow the lawn and meet all the neighbors, I mean--
Lid: Dean.
Muse Dean: We talked like adults... and I told her things. She knew what she would be dealing with, having me aroun--
Lid: Dean.
Muse Dean: What?
Lid: They know.
Muse Dean: Yeah? I dunno.
Lid: Uh, we saw you eating dinner once and you're not wearing the same clothes as this night. And we know that you historically take, like, at least three weeks when you're thinkin' about something serious. I think people can deduce that this was over the course of time.
Muse Dean: Well, it wasn't that long.
Lid: You're not making this easy anytime soon, are you?
John: I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school. I want Dean to have a home. ... I want Mary alive. I just... I just want this to be over.
--Salvation
These three things: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is ...
Being gay for that poor, dead intern. LOVE... and knowing what that means.
*THROWS THE YELLOW PAGES AT YOU*
Look at the stars / Look how they shine for you / And everything you do / And they were all yellow / So then I took my turn / Oh all the things I've done / And it was all yellow / I drew a line / I drew the line for you / Oh what a thing to do / And it was all yellow / Do you know for you I'd bleed myself dry / For you I bleed myself dry / It's true / Look how they shine for you
What you can't see is more important than what you can see.
*bows*
PART 22: The Pilot
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