5.02 Good God, Y'All, part 3/3
War, HUH!...
"There's never been a true war that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous."
-Neil Gaiman, American Gods
So, Dean sits down at the Knight's Round Table for Two and agitatedly twists his ring and segues into strategizing with the only other person in the room who has a freaking clue about anything, because if there's ANYTHING Dean's learned in the past forty - I mean four - years, it's that you don't run pell mell into demon country without a plan and you stick by your allies when you find some.
Which is extremely HOT, by the way.
Tahiri: Knights of the Round: A Final Fantasy 7 summon that brings in 13 mystical knights to deal replicating damage to an opponent. It can only be obtained by breeding a Chocobo that can cross the Ocean.
Lid: Shhhhh.
Dean: "Do you know why Rufus came to town? Was there a specific omen?"
Ellen: "Something about the water. That's all I know."
OH HAI, ELEMENTS, AGAIN. Um, so next is fire, right? I mean, let's get of this situation first, but stil... oh wait, there's also a BIG RED METAL PONY OUTSIDE.
Dean reads Revelations!
He reads it aloud leik dis:
De sebbenth bukkit an teh blingy burnin pot
1 OMG! Teh sevunth bucket gotted open, and everyone got shushed. Quiet! But only for half hour k?
2 And teh Ceiling Cat gived teh sevin ayngelz sevin trumpets.
3 One moar cam an stood at teh altar, burnin incents, cuz he was a hippy lol. He showd it off to teh other ayngelz and saints an sayed "I can has goldun senserr?" but he not need tehy're yeses cuz he already haz it, and he showeded tehm off.
4 Teh smokeys comed up form teh angulz and burnded Ceiling Cats eyez. Ceiling Cat was all "You n00bz stop burnin incentz in teh hous!"
5 An so teh ayngel tooked teh sensor, but he not eated it, and he was happy. But he burnz it and throwz it on teh floors outside insted, and then hurd voices an a thunderstorm comin.
Noizy hornz bust up ebberiting
6 Teh sevin ayngelz suckt in their bref so they could practice wif their trumpetz.
7 Fur some reason teh first ayngelz trumpet wuz full of fire, blood and hail! It burnt up a buncha trees and grass.
8 Teh seckind ayngel lukt at him and said "You not do it rite! You gotsta use ur diafram lol" An he blew his trumpetz and it somehow burneded a whole mountain up and then blew it up into teh oshun. The rest of teh oshun becam blud and gutz.
9 All teh stoopid aminals in teh sea were died; but luckly only a third of teh ships were hurt.
10 Teh fird ayngel blew his trumpet, but his was rly a flashlite,
11 Which they thought was a star becuz they n00bz. Teh water became gross and icky but ppl still drank it so lotsa ppl got molearia and dieded.
12 Teh fourth ayngel sounded his trumpetz, and he blocked only a third of teh sun, moon, and stars; he wantd it to be dark but not too dark.
13 An an ayngel flew on an invisible plane thru the mist and sayed Whoa nelly! 3 moar ayngelz not even practist their trumpetz yet lol!
"What we have here is War and he is not a n00b."
"Oh noes."
"You can reads me teh rest nao?"
"We can haz purty color waterz and den we can haz bright bursty starz leik on teh TV but moar bigger."
And at last, all is revealed, because Dean is SMRT.
The wings are gone and now Sam is just imprisoned. But isn't it pretty? Isn't it giving you ideas? No? It's just me, then?
And this guy walks in, acting all debonair wearing his ring on the wrong hand because the shoe is on the other foot and the glasses are not so rose-colored anymore and I can't think of any more cliches to fit into this sentence.
War: "Hey Sammy, I have a good joke for you. Tell me if you've heard it. Isaiah 45:7 in the original Hebrew says, 'I am He for whom without Me, there is no rising nor setting of the sun.' Now, that's commonly translated to say, 'I form the light and create darkness: I make peace and create evil: I the Lord do all these things,' but you know what, the punchline loses something when the joke is on you. Bad taste coming from me."
War: "I was in Germany... and then Germany... and then the Middle East. I was in Darfur when my beeper went off. I have three brothers. We all drive high-octane Fords that only get 8 miles per gallon. *hands*"
Sam: "I know who you are. You're... Sauron the Sith boring."
GEE, THIS LOOKS FAMILIAR. DIDN'T WE GET THIS LAST WEEK?
I love how, even when he looks resigned, he's actually just biding his time. He knows Dean will save him. Maybe. Hopefully.
You think you're helping but you're really just NOT.
Dear Everybody in this Episode,
Take a letter. Listen to The Chan. Dance like a muthafkah. Everybody knows it. What is it gooood foh? Yu-aow...
Don't make him go all Ninja on yo ass.
-Lid
Swing those hips, Rufus.
Gratuitous Jo! How'd that get in here?
As soon as Dean knew what was going on, his eyes were opened. Is that redundant? Actually, no.
Also, there's those ribsblinds in the window again, just when Dean has something very important he needs to say.
\o/ *victory arms*
"All we have to believe with is our senses, the tools we use to perceive the world: our sight, our touch, our memory. If they lie to us, then nothing can be trusted. And even if we do not believe, then still we cannot travel in any other way than the road our senses show us; and we must walk that road to the end."
-Neil Gaiman, American Gods
But everyone else is still panicking and running with the wolves herd pack sheeple. Dang, these four have their work cut out for them, trying to disarm and explain to all these wolves herd pack sheeple. Would you even bother? Most people wouldn't.
Time for rifles and guns and such is over, Ellen. Didn't you watch the video?
"I'm too old for this."
You tell 'em, Dean.
I am so proud of them for figuring this out without just falling back on Bobby or someone else to figure it out for them.
FORDS ARE A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE. I TELL YOU.
Yeah, that thing about trying to disarm and convince everyone? Not happening. It's just not possible and such assignments might actually be outside the jurisdiction of most prosecution attorneys in the lower forty-eight.
Good thing they're not lawyers.
Ew. That's all I have to say.
I had just watched FREEDOMLAND the day before, so this vignette was particularly emotional for me.
Everyone has hacked this last scene to death in fandom, so alls I'm gonna say is this: it was a long time coming. They're both wrong and they're both right. But what happens when everyone's been believing something about you for so long that you start to believe it, too?
There's no secret to living (there's no secret to living) / Just keep on walking / There's no secret to dying (there's no secret to dying) / Just keep on flying.
I'm gonna die in a place that don't know my name / I'm gonna die in a space that don't hold my fame.
God knows you're lonely souls / God knows you're lonely souls.
I believe there's a time when the cord of life / Should be cut, my friends (cut the cord, my friend) / I believe there's a time when the cord can be cut / And this vision ends (let this vision end).
But I'm gonna die in a place that don't know my name / And I'm gonna cry in a space that don't hold my fame.
O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN.
"There's never been a true war that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous."
-Neil Gaiman, American Gods
So, Dean sits down at the Knight's Round Table for Two and agitatedly twists his ring and segues into strategizing with the only other person in the room who has a freaking clue about anything, because if there's ANYTHING Dean's learned in the past forty - I mean four - years, it's that you don't run pell mell into demon country without a plan and you stick by your allies when you find some.
Which is extremely HOT, by the way.
Tahiri: Knights of the Round: A Final Fantasy 7 summon that brings in 13 mystical knights to deal replicating damage to an opponent. It can only be obtained by breeding a Chocobo that can cross the Ocean.
Lid: Shhhhh.
Dean: "Do you know why Rufus came to town? Was there a specific omen?"
Ellen: "Something about the water. That's all I know."
OH HAI, ELEMENTS, AGAIN. Um, so next is fire, right? I mean, let's get of this situation first, but stil... oh wait, there's also a BIG RED METAL PONY OUTSIDE.
Dean reads Revelations!
He reads it aloud leik dis:
De sebbenth bukkit an teh blingy burnin pot
1 OMG! Teh sevunth bucket gotted open, and everyone got shushed. Quiet! But only for half hour k?
2 And teh Ceiling Cat gived teh sevin ayngelz sevin trumpets.
3 One moar cam an stood at teh altar, burnin incents, cuz he was a hippy lol. He showd it off to teh other ayngelz and saints an sayed "I can has goldun senserr?" but he not need tehy're yeses cuz he already haz it, and he showeded tehm off.
4 Teh smokeys comed up form teh angulz and burnded Ceiling Cats eyez. Ceiling Cat was all "You n00bz stop burnin incentz in teh hous!"
5 An so teh ayngel tooked teh sensor, but he not eated it, and he was happy. But he burnz it and throwz it on teh floors outside insted, and then hurd voices an a thunderstorm comin.
Noizy hornz bust up ebberiting
6 Teh sevin ayngelz suckt in their bref so they could practice wif their trumpetz.
7 Fur some reason teh first ayngelz trumpet wuz full of fire, blood and hail! It burnt up a buncha trees and grass.
8 Teh seckind ayngel lukt at him and said "You not do it rite! You gotsta use ur diafram lol" An he blew his trumpetz and it somehow burneded a whole mountain up and then blew it up into teh oshun. The rest of teh oshun becam blud and gutz.
9 All teh stoopid aminals in teh sea were died; but luckly only a third of teh ships were hurt.
10 Teh fird ayngel blew his trumpet, but his was rly a flashlite,
11 Which they thought was a star becuz they n00bz. Teh water became gross and icky but ppl still drank it so lotsa ppl got molearia and dieded.
12 Teh fourth ayngel sounded his trumpetz, and he blocked only a third of teh sun, moon, and stars; he wantd it to be dark but not too dark.
13 An an ayngel flew on an invisible plane thru the mist and sayed Whoa nelly! 3 moar ayngelz not even practist their trumpetz yet lol!
"What we have here is War and he is not a n00b."
"Oh noes."
"You can reads me teh rest nao?"
"We can haz purty color waterz and den we can haz bright bursty starz leik on teh TV but moar bigger."
And at last, all is revealed, because Dean is SMRT.
The wings are gone and now Sam is just imprisoned. But isn't it pretty? Isn't it giving you ideas? No? It's just me, then?
And this guy walks in, acting all debonair wearing his ring on the wrong hand because the shoe is on the other foot and the glasses are not so rose-colored anymore and I can't think of any more cliches to fit into this sentence.
War: "Hey Sammy, I have a good joke for you. Tell me if you've heard it. Isaiah 45:7 in the original Hebrew says, 'I am He for whom without Me, there is no rising nor setting of the sun.' Now, that's commonly translated to say, 'I form the light and create darkness: I make peace and create evil: I the Lord do all these things,' but you know what, the punchline loses something when the joke is on you. Bad taste coming from me."
War: "I was in Germany... and then Germany... and then the Middle East. I was in Darfur when my beeper went off. I have three brothers. We all drive high-octane Fords that only get 8 miles per gallon. *hands*"
Sam: "I know who you are. You're... Sauron the Sith boring."
GEE, THIS LOOKS FAMILIAR. DIDN'T WE GET THIS LAST WEEK?
I love how, even when he looks resigned, he's actually just biding his time. He knows Dean will save him. Maybe. Hopefully.
You think you're helping but you're really just NOT.
Click to viewDear Everybody in this Episode,
Take a letter. Listen to The Chan. Dance like a muthafkah. Everybody knows it. What is it gooood foh? Yu-aow...
Don't make him go all Ninja on yo ass.
-Lid
Swing those hips, Rufus.
Gratuitous Jo! How'd that get in here?
As soon as Dean knew what was going on, his eyes were opened. Is that redundant? Actually, no.
Also, there's those ribsblinds in the window again, just when Dean has something very important he needs to say.
\o/ *victory arms*
"All we have to believe with is our senses, the tools we use to perceive the world: our sight, our touch, our memory. If they lie to us, then nothing can be trusted. And even if we do not believe, then still we cannot travel in any other way than the road our senses show us; and we must walk that road to the end."
-Neil Gaiman, American Gods
But everyone else is still panicking and running with the wolves herd pack sheeple. Dang, these four have their work cut out for them, trying to disarm and explain to all these wolves herd pack sheeple. Would you even bother? Most people wouldn't.
Time for rifles and guns and such is over, Ellen. Didn't you watch the video?
"I'm too old for this."
You tell 'em, Dean.
I am so proud of them for figuring this out without just falling back on Bobby or someone else to figure it out for them.
FORDS ARE A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE. I TELL YOU.
Yeah, that thing about trying to disarm and convince everyone? Not happening. It's just not possible and such assignments might actually be outside the jurisdiction of most prosecution attorneys in the lower forty-eight.
Good thing they're not lawyers.
Ew. That's all I have to say.
I had just watched FREEDOMLAND the day before, so this vignette was particularly emotional for me.
Everyone has hacked this last scene to death in fandom, so alls I'm gonna say is this: it was a long time coming. They're both wrong and they're both right. But what happens when everyone's been believing something about you for so long that you start to believe it, too?
There's no secret to living (there's no secret to living) / Just keep on walking / There's no secret to dying (there's no secret to dying) / Just keep on flying.
I'm gonna die in a place that don't know my name / I'm gonna die in a space that don't hold my fame.
God knows you're lonely souls / God knows you're lonely souls.
I believe there's a time when the cord of life / Should be cut, my friends (cut the cord, my friend) / I believe there's a time when the cord can be cut / And this vision ends (let this vision end).
But I'm gonna die in a place that don't know my name / And I'm gonna cry in a space that don't hold my fame.
O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN.
