You can't make this stuff up!
Last year at the Renfaire Stuart picked up a stalker. I didn't learn about this until after he deflected her attention, that was around August. I was mad that he didn't tell me earlier, so I could help intervene. Due to my penchant for destruction that is exactly why he didn't tell me.
So, come present day and this year's Renfaire I was intent on finding out who this woman was and give her something else to think about. I quizzed Stuart about who she was but he said that she wasn't bothering him and in fact avoiding him so I should not worry about it. After a who day of asking all of Stuart's friends if they knew who she was and got no where, I gave up.
Come the last day of the fair, and KOFL (stuart's group of knights) was doing their last show. It had been a great weekend, I was wearing my bellydancer outfit that day and was cheering for the guys. One of the vendors from the fair came to watch the fight, so I struck up a conversation with her. I had been talking to all the vendors mostly because I had nothing better to do. The woman I was currently taking to was one of the chainmail bikini wearing girls that comes every year with this guy Jerry who sells chainmail and is know in many fetish circles.
She starts telling me about a chainmail cross she gave to Stuart. I told her that I hadn't seen it on him and that he couldn't wear it during fights because it might get caught on something. I know a lot of vendor will donate items to the guys in order to promote their own products, so I didn't want to put her off.
Than she tells me about a shirt she gave him that she had embroidered herself. I thought that was odd but again vendors helping vendors. I had not seen this shirt and used the uniform excuse as to why he wasn't wearing it. She than also states that she used to date Stuart.
I look at her, point as Stuart and say, "Him? Sir Stuart"
She says yes.
"um, when?" Like 6 yrs ago when Stuart was newly divorced and on the rebound.
"Last August." she says
"oh really, August, huh." I say all the peices coming together. She actually believed she dated Stuart. When does e-mail stalking someone count as dating?
"Yeah but he got really mean, he's not very nice." she states breaking out of my daze.
I come back to the shirt she made for him, "I've never seen him wear that shirt you made but that's not surprising, sometimes after a day at the fair we are both so tired we just go to sleep."
Startled she says, "what you go home with him?"
"yeah, he's my husband" I say grinning.
"Oh, well we broke up, he was mean" she says.
Yeah riiiight, crazy lady.
At this point Stuart's fight is over and notices us talking. I see his look of startlement and so does she.
"He must be wondering what were talking about" she says in a somewhat triumphant voice.
she says something else that suggests he is pinning for her but I'm not really listening I'm just trying not to laugh. I'm also jonesing to run to Stuart and tell him that I know who is stalking is and razz him about it. Stuart and the troupe are leaving the field so I say to the crazy lady that I love the chainmail and will come by to check out the wares, than I walk over the were the knight have their booth, chucking the whole way.
But wait it gets funnier, so after giving Stuart a hard time I finally leave him alone and go to do some end of day shopping. While I'm gone just Sir Buck and Sir Stuart are manning the booth. Stuart is currently around back removing his armor when Crazy Lady (Natalie) comes strolling up half dragging some guy behind her. She says she is looking for me so I can come by and try on some chainmail. Buck is panicked and trying to send a telepathic message to Stuart to not come out from the back of the booth. "danger, danger". Just than Stuart comes around the booth is half sitting down next to Buck when he looks up and sees Crazy Lady. Stunned in a half sitting position. He weakly says, "hi" and sits down. She again states that she is looking for me, uh huh that's why you dragged some hobo along with you just so you could introduce him as your boyfriend. Ooooh we are so jealous.
"That's nice." Stuart says bluntly.
"Ok e-mail me later." she says to Stuart.
"yeah okay whatever" he says very sarcastically.
She totters off somehow satisfied in the thought that she is obviously over Stuart, but he must be sorry he shunned her.
Please tell me your laughing, because I am.
So, come present day and this year's Renfaire I was intent on finding out who this woman was and give her something else to think about. I quizzed Stuart about who she was but he said that she wasn't bothering him and in fact avoiding him so I should not worry about it. After a who day of asking all of Stuart's friends if they knew who she was and got no where, I gave up.
Come the last day of the fair, and KOFL (stuart's group of knights) was doing their last show. It had been a great weekend, I was wearing my bellydancer outfit that day and was cheering for the guys. One of the vendors from the fair came to watch the fight, so I struck up a conversation with her. I had been talking to all the vendors mostly because I had nothing better to do. The woman I was currently taking to was one of the chainmail bikini wearing girls that comes every year with this guy Jerry who sells chainmail and is know in many fetish circles.
She starts telling me about a chainmail cross she gave to Stuart. I told her that I hadn't seen it on him and that he couldn't wear it during fights because it might get caught on something. I know a lot of vendor will donate items to the guys in order to promote their own products, so I didn't want to put her off.
Than she tells me about a shirt she gave him that she had embroidered herself. I thought that was odd but again vendors helping vendors. I had not seen this shirt and used the uniform excuse as to why he wasn't wearing it. She than also states that she used to date Stuart.
I look at her, point as Stuart and say, "Him? Sir Stuart"
She says yes.
"um, when?" Like 6 yrs ago when Stuart was newly divorced and on the rebound.
"Last August." she says
"oh really, August, huh." I say all the peices coming together. She actually believed she dated Stuart. When does e-mail stalking someone count as dating?
"Yeah but he got really mean, he's not very nice." she states breaking out of my daze.
I come back to the shirt she made for him, "I've never seen him wear that shirt you made but that's not surprising, sometimes after a day at the fair we are both so tired we just go to sleep."
Startled she says, "what you go home with him?"
"yeah, he's my husband" I say grinning.
"Oh, well we broke up, he was mean" she says.
Yeah riiiight, crazy lady.
At this point Stuart's fight is over and notices us talking. I see his look of startlement and so does she.
"He must be wondering what were talking about" she says in a somewhat triumphant voice.
she says something else that suggests he is pinning for her but I'm not really listening I'm just trying not to laugh. I'm also jonesing to run to Stuart and tell him that I know who is stalking is and razz him about it. Stuart and the troupe are leaving the field so I say to the crazy lady that I love the chainmail and will come by to check out the wares, than I walk over the were the knight have their booth, chucking the whole way.
But wait it gets funnier, so after giving Stuart a hard time I finally leave him alone and go to do some end of day shopping. While I'm gone just Sir Buck and Sir Stuart are manning the booth. Stuart is currently around back removing his armor when Crazy Lady (Natalie) comes strolling up half dragging some guy behind her. She says she is looking for me so I can come by and try on some chainmail. Buck is panicked and trying to send a telepathic message to Stuart to not come out from the back of the booth. "danger, danger". Just than Stuart comes around the booth is half sitting down next to Buck when he looks up and sees Crazy Lady. Stunned in a half sitting position. He weakly says, "hi" and sits down. She again states that she is looking for me, uh huh that's why you dragged some hobo along with you just so you could introduce him as your boyfriend. Ooooh we are so jealous.
"That's nice." Stuart says bluntly.
"Ok e-mail me later." she says to Stuart.
"yeah okay whatever" he says very sarcastically.
She totters off somehow satisfied in the thought that she is obviously over Stuart, but he must be sorry he shunned her.
Please tell me your laughing, because I am.