(no subject)
For the first time since we moved here, I am alone in this house for more than an hour. I do love this house. I love the wood floors and the layout. I love the closets and the upstairs. I love the little door from the closet to the bathroom. I love this house. I feel it. I know this house is mine. I see the potential, I see the hope. I just need her to leave.
Later, I'm going to re-do the cabinets in the kitchen. I'm going to paint it lime green or maybe fire engine red with a black and white tiled floor, white cabinets and some kind of black counter top. I'm going to move my room downstairs. Have a bedroom and a computer room. I'm going to leave the hall and the dining room blue and paint the living room something darker maybe. I would love to re-do the bathroom, but it would probably get too expensive. It would be impossible to match anything to that gray tile... but I would see. I do hate the basement... but over time, bug bombs and cleaning I could deal with it. It's not as bad as some basements, but it is still a basement.
I want to be able to enjoy coming here, not dread it. It's not the house's fault. Someday I'll fill it with nice furniture and new windows, doors. Make it awesome again. I can't believe how many things she makes me hate. So many things I have quit because she made me hate it. So many things I feel like I suck at because of her. I wonder if we'll have any type of relationship when this is all over.
My legs hurt. Like growing pains, but a little worse.
In good news... Sarah is giving me her bed. :) I'm super excited to have a big bed. For it, I'm trading her my bed and I'll throw in some money as well because I feel like she's getting the ass end of the deal. But I am excited.
School is starting soon... I hope I won't feel like a shitty writer again. I hope I won't want to quit. Most of all, I hope I don't have to quit. Cross your fingers for me.
Later, I'm going to re-do the cabinets in the kitchen. I'm going to paint it lime green or maybe fire engine red with a black and white tiled floor, white cabinets and some kind of black counter top. I'm going to move my room downstairs. Have a bedroom and a computer room. I'm going to leave the hall and the dining room blue and paint the living room something darker maybe. I would love to re-do the bathroom, but it would probably get too expensive. It would be impossible to match anything to that gray tile... but I would see. I do hate the basement... but over time, bug bombs and cleaning I could deal with it. It's not as bad as some basements, but it is still a basement.
I want to be able to enjoy coming here, not dread it. It's not the house's fault. Someday I'll fill it with nice furniture and new windows, doors. Make it awesome again. I can't believe how many things she makes me hate. So many things I have quit because she made me hate it. So many things I feel like I suck at because of her. I wonder if we'll have any type of relationship when this is all over.
My legs hurt. Like growing pains, but a little worse.
In good news... Sarah is giving me her bed. :) I'm super excited to have a big bed. For it, I'm trading her my bed and I'll throw in some money as well because I feel like she's getting the ass end of the deal. But I am excited.
School is starting soon... I hope I won't feel like a shitty writer again. I hope I won't want to quit. Most of all, I hope I don't have to quit. Cross your fingers for me.