Fic: I Bet It Stung
Title: I Bet It Stung
Author: blackindiaink
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Characters property of ABC Studios and Shonda Rhimes. No infringement is intended and no profit was made from this work.
Summary: Callie and George have a coming out talk and Arizona tries to save her dignity.
A/N: If you guys recall in the first Little Pieces Fancast Dars and Elyima talked about the show missing the chance to have Callie come out to George. I commented that a fic was a' brewin' and now I am delivering.
This is a long time coming. I sat on it for forever afraid that I had not done the subject justice but heartsways and Meg both told me they really liked it so I decided to post it. Thanks to istillam for helping me chose a title.
George O'Malley was tired. In fact, he was so exhausted that he had serious doubts that he would make it to the surgical floor on call room before he fell flat on his face in the middle of the hall. The night shift was usually quieter and populated by a vastly different atmosphere than day time but tonight had been a little hectic. He just gone from patient to patient checking notes and making sure that the proper courses of treatment were being followed before he was able to get away and try to catch a few hours sleep.
Tonight's shift was made more difficult by the all nights schedule that he had been assigned to for the past week and because he had also spent most of the previous day in a caffeinated state of frenzy while being instructed by Dr. Hunt in the ways of Trauma surgery. Add the facts that his interns were seemed to be unable to stay out of trouble and that he was still playing catch up from his months as a repeat intern and it was amazing that he was still standing at all.
He trudged on past other hospital staff, his gait resembling that of a slightly inebriated zombie. He realized was receiving some odd glances, particularly from those who didn't know him, but that didn't interrupt his slow progress because his goal appeared around the corner and it was a fantastic sight. A silver door knob peaked out at him promising a glorious reprieve from the fatigue that made his feet heavier with each step. He reached his hand out expectantly and waited to feel the cold metal of the knob changing the temperature of his hand. He gripped the knob and twisted it, hearing the satisfying release of the deadlatch. Then, he tugged on the door, his eyelids drooping as he stepped forward to enter the room. Just a few steps more and he would find the soft mattress that had been haunting his thoughts for hours. His raised his head and his eyes snapped open when he saw just who was already making use of the bunk bed in the corner.
"Callie?!"
They were in full on make out mode, limbs entangled and clothes in disarray. Callie's hand was busily making it's way up the backside of Arizona's scrub top and her lips were finding all of their favorite places on the exposed skin of a pale neck. Blond hair tickled her nose as she worked her way around to the spot that she knew would make Arizona squirm. In the several months that they had been dating one of her favorite activities had been exploration and she was incredibly successful at sussing out all the best spots to revisit. She took note of every moan and indication of approval that escaped the body beside her as she felt the heavy warm breath flow past her ear and fog her mind with growing lust. Making her partner loose control was incredibly intoxicating, and the reaction that this added propellant garnered in Callie made Arizona give herself over to the experience with matching zeal.
It had been difficult to convince Arizona to sneak off into the on call room for such nefarious purposes and now it seemed that in her excitement over their stolen moment Callie had forgotten that someone could walk in at any moment. Yet again she had been foiled in her attempts to get a little sexy on with the object of her affection. It had been two weeks, fourteen whole days of schedule conflicts and exhausted and fumbled attempts at physically reconnecting. Just as Arizona had just gotten past her initial nervousness about committing this particular brand of work place shenanigans they had both heard Callie's name from a decidedly familiar source. Callie's lips detached from their new home in the crook of Arizona's neck as she whirled around to meet George's astonished expression. Arizona had a more subtle reaction, hiding behind Callie and tucking her face as far out of the line of sight as possible.
"George!"
Callie laughed nervously as she felt Arizona's face press into her back. She heard a muffled groan come from behind her at the confirmation of their undesired guest's identity. George took in the startled expression and rumpled appearance of his ex-wife and decided that he was just too tired to care about decorum. He sat in the chair opposite the bed before he fell onto it unintentionally. His eyes followed as Callie tried to rearrange her scrub top into a presentable fashion, which was made more difficult by Arizona's continued pressure against her back. Once she wasn't unintentionally flashing bare skin she started to fix her ponytail and his mind wandered. He had heard through the hospital gossip and that his ex had started dating again but because they didn't really have daily chats he didn't know the details. Sure, he had wondered about it and in the end found himself too busy with work and his own life to let that wonder turn into a more serious curiosity, even if the people she was dating happened to be women.
"George, what are you doing here," Callie asked, making her intentions clear. She had expected him to leave after he saw that the room was occupied.
"I'm tired," he drawled out in desperation, "and I was hoping to actually get some sleep for the first time in two days."
His reply was so pitiful that she found the annoyance draining from her. His eyes were slipping closed again but he suddenly jerked awake when he heard Callie's shoes touch the floor. It was then that he saw who was hiding behind her. He was vaguely surprised. The new head of Peds was not who he had been expecting. Maybe he should have been paying closer attention to the gossip. After hearing about Hahn's abrupt departure and Callie's involvement with her he had fallen behind or so it seemed. He would have thought that Meredith would have mentioned that she was seeing Dr. Robbins, who he would not have pegged for a lesbian. Then again, his gaydar was obviously faulty because he would have never guessed that Callie would be into women either.
"Dr. Robbins?" His gazed turned to Callie again and held a question that did not need verbalization. Found out, Arizona sighed and slid forward feet first so that she was sitting beside Callie on the bottom bunk. She was completely unaware that her wavy hair was now sticking out on one side, taking away the possibility of her appearing at all professional.
"O'Malley," she replied, "Nice to see you again," her usual enthusiasm was arrantly absent.
A lazy grin erupted on George's face as he took in their obvious embarrassment. This was Seattle Grace, of course he would walk in on his ex-wife and her lesbian lover in an on call room at two in the morning. He was pretty sure that Callie was going to smack him at any moment for the implicit thoughts he was having but before she could, Arizona stood up and adjusted her scrubs. Satisfied, she reached for her lab coat and slid it on gracefully. If they were going to get caught she supposed there wasn't a better person to do it. She had accepted the situation and was prepared to go about her business when Callie reached for her hand and grasped it in an attempt to keep her there.
She cleared her throat, sending a small smile back at Callie. "I should go check on my patient," Arizona said.
Callie stubbornly refused to let go of her hand and so she staring pointedly at George hoping that he would vacate the premises so she could go about convincing Arizona that she was the one who needed an exam. The wall of exhaustion that had been building inside George gave him the will he needed to resist the laser like gaze that was directed into his face. He was a bit of a push over, especially where strong women such as Callie were concerned, but he very seriously doubted that he could even move at the moment which strengthened his resolve.
Arizona looked from the bed to the chair with wide, questioning eyes. "Okay," she set her free hand on top of Callie's hand and squeezed, "I am just going to go now." Callie finally released the hand she was holding hostage and gazed after Arizona with sad eyes as she left the room. Once the door was once again closed she turned back to George and sent one leg shooting in his direction. Her foot impacted with his calf muscle making him jump.
"Ow," he cried," Why would you do that?"
He rubbed his calf with one hand while glaring at Callie. "It's not my fault you can't lock a door," he whined. Unfortunately, she was unmoved by his argument. Now that the immediate pain was fading from his leg he shifted back to his former slouched position in the chair and resumed his quiet contemplation. In spite of his exhaustion the subject was rising up between them. It was something they had never got around to talking about since they had never really had hashed out everything that had gone on after their divorce, either individually or as a couple.
Their courtship and marriage was something that blew threw like a gust of wind and though they both might have regretted some things, George really appreciated the fact that it had happened and that he had experienced Callie. He could not say that he had been able to ever give all of himself to her but she was someone who did so in every relationship. That was the part he had loved. He had loved who she was but he was unable to grasp it all in his hands and jump in with both feet. She deserved that and he hoped that she would find it.
She glared back not willing to take the blame for their misadventure. "I wasn't really thinking about that when I was kissing my really hot girlfri..."
She trailed off when the unfamiliar identifier started to slip out. Was Arizona her girlfriend? The term felt slightly strange in her mind. The actual meaning behind the word was the epiphany. Rumination set into her mind like a soft blanket drawing the pertinent moments from her memory, and her silent deliberation sent George into a state of acute observation. He bid his time, knowing that she would eventually start processing out loud. No movement came from either of them as they both waited for the right words to come.
"That was interesting," Callie said.
She couldn't handle the silence for a second more so she filled it with half formed concepts that had manifested themselves as a tangle of realization. She could feel herself falling one piece after the other into this tender trap. The woman had literally come out of nowhere and lifted her off the ground and given her that something that she needed. Arizona had the capability to give of herself freely and to keep the vital parts of their relationship held safely between them.
"What's interesting," he asked gently, guiding her into the verbal part of the revelation.
"I just didn't realize that I thought of Arizona as my girlfriend, that I wanted her to be that... yet. Erica and I never really got that far," She stopped to make sure that he still with her. There was no way for her to know how much he knew about her last romantic entanglement. When he nodded she knew that he was at least aware that she had been involved with Hahn.
The thoughts reverberated through her and pooled in her mind giving her a clear pathway to her ultimate conclusion. Somewhere between passionate nights and every day exchanges she had entered into a real relationship. Her oblivious enjoyment of the time she spent with Arizona was what had allowed her to bypass the fear that might have paralyzed her. The safety of that had let her enter into the attachment without doubt.
George perked up as the idea of his next question ticked the edges of his mind. Thoughts of sleep were banished and replaced by curiosity since the subject of Callie's sexual orientation had conveniently presented itself.
"Callie, what happened," he asked as he leaned forward with the rise of his interest, "I mean, you never mentioned... not that I'm questioning your feelings or whatever but you never said anything," he grappled with the best way to say what came next, "about women," his hands waved around with implication, "...and liking them."
Mercifully, he just stopped there and hoped that his point had gotten across but he was so lost in a jungle of political correctness and awkward mental images that he wasn't sure she would get it. A half hearted laugh shook through Callie when the amazement from hearing his question wore off. Now, that the meaning behind his garbled words had unfolded for her she was enjoying his discomfort a little more than was probably necessary.
"If I knew how this happened or why my gay switch got flicked, maybe I would know how Arizona became my girlfriend and I didn't realize it," she said through soft laughter. His perplexed expression deepened so she relented in her teasing.
"I can tell you this," she started. He nodded and settled in to receive her real answer. "When I was sleeping with Mark..."
"Woah, Woah," he cried, covering his ears, "I don't need to hear that! Just skip to the woman part," he pleaded.
She raised both eyebrows and scoffed. So, he could hear about her being with a woman but mentioning Mark Sloan offended his delicate sense of masculinity?! It was typical of him and not an issue she was willing to get into at the moment. It was going to be hard enough to shatter his illusions about her sexuality as it was.
"Fine," she conceded, "When Erica and I were still just friends Addison came into town on a consult and she mentioned that we seemed like we... Erica and I... were a couple. That was the first real clue. I guess it was something that was in my mind before that.," she blinked, remembering her violent reaction to Addison's questioning, "I was thinking about Erica all the time but it just didn't really occur to me why, that was until it one day when we were sitting in the lounge. She was reading this magazine that someone left in there. It was just some womens interest thing," she shook her head as she got slightly off track.
"Go on," George encouraged.
"We were talking about how ridiculous the articles in those things are, you know articles about improving your sex life, and she laughed this certain way. Her eyes kind of sparkled for a second and she looked up at me smiling... that was when I felt it. I wanted to sit beside her and I wanted to touch her... I wanted her to always smile at me like that and have it be because of me."
George's mouth feel slightly open with wonder at the admission. There was a moment of silence until she saw him lean back against the chair. "Huh, so you really liked her," he uttered as if the possibility had not occurred to him. It was hard for him to imagine that there was a side to Hahn that would inspire the reaction that Callie described. The abrasive former attending had not really have any other friends in the hospital that he knew off that could testify to it's existence, but if Callie had found something to like about her then he trusted that it was there.
"And that is when I started to figure it out... sort of because of Mark," she sighed, "I guess I felt like I had to prove that I was wasn't gay to myself and whoever else was watching, or I had to prove that I was on one side or the other. It might have been the wrong way to figure it out but it was the way it happened so..."
"You realized that you were gay by sleeping with a man," he asked, smiling.
"The irony does not escape me," she replied dryly, " And I haven't really gotten a hold of the whole identifying myself thing yet."
That wasn't really the important part to her but ever since Erica had thrown her parting jab in about her being kinda gay she had gone over everything and despite who she was attracted to she found that she was most at ease just being Callie and maybe that meant bisexual and maybe that meant something else. She would not have thought so hard on the issue if it had not been for outside pressures forcing her to define herself.
"Really, it's like puzzle pieces. I keep getting these irregularly shaped clues to who I am and I try to find where they fit. I don't think any of us know exactly who we are yet and that is fine. I just know that it was always there and I was so wrapped up in life that I may have missed some things along the way," she paused considering her next statement, "I think I closed myself off from some possibilities just because I could not conceive that they were there."
"Right," he said as he nodded and let the information sink in, "But what happened, why did Erica leave. None of us ever really knew anything except what you told Christina."
"I think she was scared," she said with discernment, "It was so new to both of us and so when she found out about the whole Izzie and Denny thing and I didn't jump on her side she felt betrayed," her head wavered with the memory, "Maybe she used it as an excuse because she was just afraid that I was going to hurt her. I don't know. What I do know is that she finished the damage that was already started," she saw him cringe at the reference to their failed marriage, "but then there was someone that came in and made it okay."
"Dr. Robbins," he said, "She seems nice... uh, perky and nice."
Callie snorted at his lack of grace in describing Arizona. He had no way of knowing what a strong and deep person she was since he was by no means in Callie's position but the fact that he was trying to be nice about it made her smile.
"She may be perky and seem to be all about the butterflies and rainbows but you should see her when she is trying to save a kid's life. She fierce when she needs to be and she knows how to handle herself... especially in situations like earlier."
"Earlier," his face scrunched in confusion.
"When you came in," she replied with a pointed stare.
"Oh..." his eyes widened with understanding, "OH o-kay, I get it now."
"Yeah, I'm still kind of pissed about that," she said, smiling in spite of her words,"In the future try not to let your sleeping needs interfere with my hot girl activities," she added
"So, you're happy?" He asked the question, obviously ignoring her request.
She considered her answer carefully for less than a second before a radiant grin stretched across her face. There was his answer. He would always feel guilt about how he had treated Callie and the fact that he had used her in ways that he never thought he was capable of, but he would have to deal with that. Now, he was just happy to step out of the way and watch her go on to find someone that would complete her in ways that he never could.
She had been there when he had needed her but he had never been able to do the same. He had seen her vulnerability and had somewhat callously exploited her need to be loved. That expression she was wearing told him that someone was giving her what others had left lacking and it didn't matter if that person was female or male. What mattered was that she was actually being cared for.
"She makes me happier than I have ever been in my life," she replied with conviction.
A slight smile appeared on George's visage. Even though it was all in the past he was surprised to find that it hurt a little to hear her say that. A twinge of real regret twitched in his heart when he realized that someone had truly taken his place as her McDreamy and that she was no longer in any way his. She was finally free of his influence and that sadly was the catalyst for his cavalcade of memories of the good times in their relationship. He remembered nights in Vegas and always laughing uncontrollably with her but he had marred all that good with his weakness and he was still paying for it.
"Good," he said with sincerity
The doorknob turned causing both Callie and George to jump a little and look to see who could be coming in. When Arizona's head appeared around the edge of the door Callie relaxed and that grin reappeared. George saw it as soon as it happened. Callie glowed as soon as the blue eyes found hers.
"What are you still doing in here," Arizona asked, "It's almost time to go."
The door opened fully and she stepped inside. Callie reached for her phone and checked the time. Sure enough it was almost time for her shift to end. She might have to rush to finish up notes in a few charts but that would not keep her long. She smiled up at Arizona who was looking from George to Callie with a little worry. She had the distinct feeling that they had been discussing her. She flushed red and wondered what they possibly could have been saying. No matter, she would get the info out of Callie eventually. She had her ways. At the thought of those particularly pleasurable methods, she grinned right back at Callie and held out her hand.
"Come on, you finish up so we can get out of here. I'm already done," she said.
Callie rose from the bed and reached out to clasp the offered hand. "That is the best offer I've gotten all night," she replied happily.
They stopped just before exiting the room so that Callie could turn back to George. "Get some rest," she suggested, "You look like hell."
He groaned and pursed his lips. She was the one who had kept him from sleeping in the first place. He watched as they left, knowing that he had witnessed what he should have been for Callie. The sun had finally come out to shine on her and the form it had taken was one that he hadn't expected. He shoved himself up from the chair and took the few steps across the room to the bed. He lay down where all the trouble had began and fell instantly into a deep sleep inhabited by dreams that he would never admit to having. He dreamed the happiness he could have had and actions that escaped him.
Night enfolded Callie and Arizona as they exited the hospital after finishing all of their duties for the night. Arizona's patient was stable and doing fine so she was able to really let her mind wander to the mystery conversation between Callie and George. She was not sure if she should really ask but it was burning in her mind. Callie spoke interrupting her thoughts.
"George asked me if I was happy," Callie said.
She had seen practically seen the wheels turning in Arizona's head so she decided to supply the information instead of waiting for her to mull over the decision to ask. She was used to Arizona's sense of propriety by now and knew that she would not want to ask for information if it might be too private. Someday she would make Arizona realize that every time she looked at her she had the urge to spill out the entire contents of her mind. She had very little control over her verboseness as it was but there was something about Arizona that just incited trust.
"What did you say," Arizona asked.
Callie smiled in anticipation. She might be revealing a little more than she really wished to but she was willing to take the chance... on Arizona.
"I told him that you made me happier than anyone else ever had."
Arizona's short gasp was barely audible as she took in the statement. It was an answer she did not expect but it was certainly welcome. A soft smile played at the corners of her mouth.
"Good, that was what I was going for," she said simply.
With one shared smile and the knowledge that they were walking this path together, they strolled out of sight and into the coming sunrise with a balance that neither had ever received from another person in their lives.
Author: blackindiaink
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Characters property of ABC Studios and Shonda Rhimes. No infringement is intended and no profit was made from this work.
Summary: Callie and George have a coming out talk and Arizona tries to save her dignity.
A/N: If you guys recall in the first Little Pieces Fancast Dars and Elyima talked about the show missing the chance to have Callie come out to George. I commented that a fic was a' brewin' and now I am delivering.
This is a long time coming. I sat on it for forever afraid that I had not done the subject justice but heartsways and Meg both told me they really liked it so I decided to post it. Thanks to istillam for helping me chose a title.
George O'Malley was tired. In fact, he was so exhausted that he had serious doubts that he would make it to the surgical floor on call room before he fell flat on his face in the middle of the hall. The night shift was usually quieter and populated by a vastly different atmosphere than day time but tonight had been a little hectic. He just gone from patient to patient checking notes and making sure that the proper courses of treatment were being followed before he was able to get away and try to catch a few hours sleep.
Tonight's shift was made more difficult by the all nights schedule that he had been assigned to for the past week and because he had also spent most of the previous day in a caffeinated state of frenzy while being instructed by Dr. Hunt in the ways of Trauma surgery. Add the facts that his interns were seemed to be unable to stay out of trouble and that he was still playing catch up from his months as a repeat intern and it was amazing that he was still standing at all.
He trudged on past other hospital staff, his gait resembling that of a slightly inebriated zombie. He realized was receiving some odd glances, particularly from those who didn't know him, but that didn't interrupt his slow progress because his goal appeared around the corner and it was a fantastic sight. A silver door knob peaked out at him promising a glorious reprieve from the fatigue that made his feet heavier with each step. He reached his hand out expectantly and waited to feel the cold metal of the knob changing the temperature of his hand. He gripped the knob and twisted it, hearing the satisfying release of the deadlatch. Then, he tugged on the door, his eyelids drooping as he stepped forward to enter the room. Just a few steps more and he would find the soft mattress that had been haunting his thoughts for hours. His raised his head and his eyes snapped open when he saw just who was already making use of the bunk bed in the corner.
"Callie?!"
They were in full on make out mode, limbs entangled and clothes in disarray. Callie's hand was busily making it's way up the backside of Arizona's scrub top and her lips were finding all of their favorite places on the exposed skin of a pale neck. Blond hair tickled her nose as she worked her way around to the spot that she knew would make Arizona squirm. In the several months that they had been dating one of her favorite activities had been exploration and she was incredibly successful at sussing out all the best spots to revisit. She took note of every moan and indication of approval that escaped the body beside her as she felt the heavy warm breath flow past her ear and fog her mind with growing lust. Making her partner loose control was incredibly intoxicating, and the reaction that this added propellant garnered in Callie made Arizona give herself over to the experience with matching zeal.
It had been difficult to convince Arizona to sneak off into the on call room for such nefarious purposes and now it seemed that in her excitement over their stolen moment Callie had forgotten that someone could walk in at any moment. Yet again she had been foiled in her attempts to get a little sexy on with the object of her affection. It had been two weeks, fourteen whole days of schedule conflicts and exhausted and fumbled attempts at physically reconnecting. Just as Arizona had just gotten past her initial nervousness about committing this particular brand of work place shenanigans they had both heard Callie's name from a decidedly familiar source. Callie's lips detached from their new home in the crook of Arizona's neck as she whirled around to meet George's astonished expression. Arizona had a more subtle reaction, hiding behind Callie and tucking her face as far out of the line of sight as possible.
"George!"
Callie laughed nervously as she felt Arizona's face press into her back. She heard a muffled groan come from behind her at the confirmation of their undesired guest's identity. George took in the startled expression and rumpled appearance of his ex-wife and decided that he was just too tired to care about decorum. He sat in the chair opposite the bed before he fell onto it unintentionally. His eyes followed as Callie tried to rearrange her scrub top into a presentable fashion, which was made more difficult by Arizona's continued pressure against her back. Once she wasn't unintentionally flashing bare skin she started to fix her ponytail and his mind wandered. He had heard through the hospital gossip and that his ex had started dating again but because they didn't really have daily chats he didn't know the details. Sure, he had wondered about it and in the end found himself too busy with work and his own life to let that wonder turn into a more serious curiosity, even if the people she was dating happened to be women.
"George, what are you doing here," Callie asked, making her intentions clear. She had expected him to leave after he saw that the room was occupied.
"I'm tired," he drawled out in desperation, "and I was hoping to actually get some sleep for the first time in two days."
His reply was so pitiful that she found the annoyance draining from her. His eyes were slipping closed again but he suddenly jerked awake when he heard Callie's shoes touch the floor. It was then that he saw who was hiding behind her. He was vaguely surprised. The new head of Peds was not who he had been expecting. Maybe he should have been paying closer attention to the gossip. After hearing about Hahn's abrupt departure and Callie's involvement with her he had fallen behind or so it seemed. He would have thought that Meredith would have mentioned that she was seeing Dr. Robbins, who he would not have pegged for a lesbian. Then again, his gaydar was obviously faulty because he would have never guessed that Callie would be into women either.
"Dr. Robbins?" His gazed turned to Callie again and held a question that did not need verbalization. Found out, Arizona sighed and slid forward feet first so that she was sitting beside Callie on the bottom bunk. She was completely unaware that her wavy hair was now sticking out on one side, taking away the possibility of her appearing at all professional.
"O'Malley," she replied, "Nice to see you again," her usual enthusiasm was arrantly absent.
A lazy grin erupted on George's face as he took in their obvious embarrassment. This was Seattle Grace, of course he would walk in on his ex-wife and her lesbian lover in an on call room at two in the morning. He was pretty sure that Callie was going to smack him at any moment for the implicit thoughts he was having but before she could, Arizona stood up and adjusted her scrubs. Satisfied, she reached for her lab coat and slid it on gracefully. If they were going to get caught she supposed there wasn't a better person to do it. She had accepted the situation and was prepared to go about her business when Callie reached for her hand and grasped it in an attempt to keep her there.
She cleared her throat, sending a small smile back at Callie. "I should go check on my patient," Arizona said.
Callie stubbornly refused to let go of her hand and so she staring pointedly at George hoping that he would vacate the premises so she could go about convincing Arizona that she was the one who needed an exam. The wall of exhaustion that had been building inside George gave him the will he needed to resist the laser like gaze that was directed into his face. He was a bit of a push over, especially where strong women such as Callie were concerned, but he very seriously doubted that he could even move at the moment which strengthened his resolve.
Arizona looked from the bed to the chair with wide, questioning eyes. "Okay," she set her free hand on top of Callie's hand and squeezed, "I am just going to go now." Callie finally released the hand she was holding hostage and gazed after Arizona with sad eyes as she left the room. Once the door was once again closed she turned back to George and sent one leg shooting in his direction. Her foot impacted with his calf muscle making him jump.
"Ow," he cried," Why would you do that?"
He rubbed his calf with one hand while glaring at Callie. "It's not my fault you can't lock a door," he whined. Unfortunately, she was unmoved by his argument. Now that the immediate pain was fading from his leg he shifted back to his former slouched position in the chair and resumed his quiet contemplation. In spite of his exhaustion the subject was rising up between them. It was something they had never got around to talking about since they had never really had hashed out everything that had gone on after their divorce, either individually or as a couple.
Their courtship and marriage was something that blew threw like a gust of wind and though they both might have regretted some things, George really appreciated the fact that it had happened and that he had experienced Callie. He could not say that he had been able to ever give all of himself to her but she was someone who did so in every relationship. That was the part he had loved. He had loved who she was but he was unable to grasp it all in his hands and jump in with both feet. She deserved that and he hoped that she would find it.
She glared back not willing to take the blame for their misadventure. "I wasn't really thinking about that when I was kissing my really hot girlfri..."
She trailed off when the unfamiliar identifier started to slip out. Was Arizona her girlfriend? The term felt slightly strange in her mind. The actual meaning behind the word was the epiphany. Rumination set into her mind like a soft blanket drawing the pertinent moments from her memory, and her silent deliberation sent George into a state of acute observation. He bid his time, knowing that she would eventually start processing out loud. No movement came from either of them as they both waited for the right words to come.
"That was interesting," Callie said.
She couldn't handle the silence for a second more so she filled it with half formed concepts that had manifested themselves as a tangle of realization. She could feel herself falling one piece after the other into this tender trap. The woman had literally come out of nowhere and lifted her off the ground and given her that something that she needed. Arizona had the capability to give of herself freely and to keep the vital parts of their relationship held safely between them.
"What's interesting," he asked gently, guiding her into the verbal part of the revelation.
"I just didn't realize that I thought of Arizona as my girlfriend, that I wanted her to be that... yet. Erica and I never really got that far," She stopped to make sure that he still with her. There was no way for her to know how much he knew about her last romantic entanglement. When he nodded she knew that he was at least aware that she had been involved with Hahn.
The thoughts reverberated through her and pooled in her mind giving her a clear pathway to her ultimate conclusion. Somewhere between passionate nights and every day exchanges she had entered into a real relationship. Her oblivious enjoyment of the time she spent with Arizona was what had allowed her to bypass the fear that might have paralyzed her. The safety of that had let her enter into the attachment without doubt.
George perked up as the idea of his next question ticked the edges of his mind. Thoughts of sleep were banished and replaced by curiosity since the subject of Callie's sexual orientation had conveniently presented itself.
"Callie, what happened," he asked as he leaned forward with the rise of his interest, "I mean, you never mentioned... not that I'm questioning your feelings or whatever but you never said anything," he grappled with the best way to say what came next, "about women," his hands waved around with implication, "...and liking them."
Mercifully, he just stopped there and hoped that his point had gotten across but he was so lost in a jungle of political correctness and awkward mental images that he wasn't sure she would get it. A half hearted laugh shook through Callie when the amazement from hearing his question wore off. Now, that the meaning behind his garbled words had unfolded for her she was enjoying his discomfort a little more than was probably necessary.
"If I knew how this happened or why my gay switch got flicked, maybe I would know how Arizona became my girlfriend and I didn't realize it," she said through soft laughter. His perplexed expression deepened so she relented in her teasing.
"I can tell you this," she started. He nodded and settled in to receive her real answer. "When I was sleeping with Mark..."
"Woah, Woah," he cried, covering his ears, "I don't need to hear that! Just skip to the woman part," he pleaded.
She raised both eyebrows and scoffed. So, he could hear about her being with a woman but mentioning Mark Sloan offended his delicate sense of masculinity?! It was typical of him and not an issue she was willing to get into at the moment. It was going to be hard enough to shatter his illusions about her sexuality as it was.
"Fine," she conceded, "When Erica and I were still just friends Addison came into town on a consult and she mentioned that we seemed like we... Erica and I... were a couple. That was the first real clue. I guess it was something that was in my mind before that.," she blinked, remembering her violent reaction to Addison's questioning, "I was thinking about Erica all the time but it just didn't really occur to me why, that was until it one day when we were sitting in the lounge. She was reading this magazine that someone left in there. It was just some womens interest thing," she shook her head as she got slightly off track.
"Go on," George encouraged.
"We were talking about how ridiculous the articles in those things are, you know articles about improving your sex life, and she laughed this certain way. Her eyes kind of sparkled for a second and she looked up at me smiling... that was when I felt it. I wanted to sit beside her and I wanted to touch her... I wanted her to always smile at me like that and have it be because of me."
George's mouth feel slightly open with wonder at the admission. There was a moment of silence until she saw him lean back against the chair. "Huh, so you really liked her," he uttered as if the possibility had not occurred to him. It was hard for him to imagine that there was a side to Hahn that would inspire the reaction that Callie described. The abrasive former attending had not really have any other friends in the hospital that he knew off that could testify to it's existence, but if Callie had found something to like about her then he trusted that it was there.
"And that is when I started to figure it out... sort of because of Mark," she sighed, "I guess I felt like I had to prove that I was wasn't gay to myself and whoever else was watching, or I had to prove that I was on one side or the other. It might have been the wrong way to figure it out but it was the way it happened so..."
"You realized that you were gay by sleeping with a man," he asked, smiling.
"The irony does not escape me," she replied dryly, " And I haven't really gotten a hold of the whole identifying myself thing yet."
That wasn't really the important part to her but ever since Erica had thrown her parting jab in about her being kinda gay she had gone over everything and despite who she was attracted to she found that she was most at ease just being Callie and maybe that meant bisexual and maybe that meant something else. She would not have thought so hard on the issue if it had not been for outside pressures forcing her to define herself.
"Really, it's like puzzle pieces. I keep getting these irregularly shaped clues to who I am and I try to find where they fit. I don't think any of us know exactly who we are yet and that is fine. I just know that it was always there and I was so wrapped up in life that I may have missed some things along the way," she paused considering her next statement, "I think I closed myself off from some possibilities just because I could not conceive that they were there."
"Right," he said as he nodded and let the information sink in, "But what happened, why did Erica leave. None of us ever really knew anything except what you told Christina."
"I think she was scared," she said with discernment, "It was so new to both of us and so when she found out about the whole Izzie and Denny thing and I didn't jump on her side she felt betrayed," her head wavered with the memory, "Maybe she used it as an excuse because she was just afraid that I was going to hurt her. I don't know. What I do know is that she finished the damage that was already started," she saw him cringe at the reference to their failed marriage, "but then there was someone that came in and made it okay."
"Dr. Robbins," he said, "She seems nice... uh, perky and nice."
Callie snorted at his lack of grace in describing Arizona. He had no way of knowing what a strong and deep person she was since he was by no means in Callie's position but the fact that he was trying to be nice about it made her smile.
"She may be perky and seem to be all about the butterflies and rainbows but you should see her when she is trying to save a kid's life. She fierce when she needs to be and she knows how to handle herself... especially in situations like earlier."
"Earlier," his face scrunched in confusion.
"When you came in," she replied with a pointed stare.
"Oh..." his eyes widened with understanding, "OH o-kay, I get it now."
"Yeah, I'm still kind of pissed about that," she said, smiling in spite of her words,"In the future try not to let your sleeping needs interfere with my hot girl activities," she added
"So, you're happy?" He asked the question, obviously ignoring her request.
She considered her answer carefully for less than a second before a radiant grin stretched across her face. There was his answer. He would always feel guilt about how he had treated Callie and the fact that he had used her in ways that he never thought he was capable of, but he would have to deal with that. Now, he was just happy to step out of the way and watch her go on to find someone that would complete her in ways that he never could.
She had been there when he had needed her but he had never been able to do the same. He had seen her vulnerability and had somewhat callously exploited her need to be loved. That expression she was wearing told him that someone was giving her what others had left lacking and it didn't matter if that person was female or male. What mattered was that she was actually being cared for.
"She makes me happier than I have ever been in my life," she replied with conviction.
A slight smile appeared on George's visage. Even though it was all in the past he was surprised to find that it hurt a little to hear her say that. A twinge of real regret twitched in his heart when he realized that someone had truly taken his place as her McDreamy and that she was no longer in any way his. She was finally free of his influence and that sadly was the catalyst for his cavalcade of memories of the good times in their relationship. He remembered nights in Vegas and always laughing uncontrollably with her but he had marred all that good with his weakness and he was still paying for it.
"Good," he said with sincerity
The doorknob turned causing both Callie and George to jump a little and look to see who could be coming in. When Arizona's head appeared around the edge of the door Callie relaxed and that grin reappeared. George saw it as soon as it happened. Callie glowed as soon as the blue eyes found hers.
"What are you still doing in here," Arizona asked, "It's almost time to go."
The door opened fully and she stepped inside. Callie reached for her phone and checked the time. Sure enough it was almost time for her shift to end. She might have to rush to finish up notes in a few charts but that would not keep her long. She smiled up at Arizona who was looking from George to Callie with a little worry. She had the distinct feeling that they had been discussing her. She flushed red and wondered what they possibly could have been saying. No matter, she would get the info out of Callie eventually. She had her ways. At the thought of those particularly pleasurable methods, she grinned right back at Callie and held out her hand.
"Come on, you finish up so we can get out of here. I'm already done," she said.
Callie rose from the bed and reached out to clasp the offered hand. "That is the best offer I've gotten all night," she replied happily.
They stopped just before exiting the room so that Callie could turn back to George. "Get some rest," she suggested, "You look like hell."
He groaned and pursed his lips. She was the one who had kept him from sleeping in the first place. He watched as they left, knowing that he had witnessed what he should have been for Callie. The sun had finally come out to shine on her and the form it had taken was one that he hadn't expected. He shoved himself up from the chair and took the few steps across the room to the bed. He lay down where all the trouble had began and fell instantly into a deep sleep inhabited by dreams that he would never admit to having. He dreamed the happiness he could have had and actions that escaped him.
Night enfolded Callie and Arizona as they exited the hospital after finishing all of their duties for the night. Arizona's patient was stable and doing fine so she was able to really let her mind wander to the mystery conversation between Callie and George. She was not sure if she should really ask but it was burning in her mind. Callie spoke interrupting her thoughts.
"George asked me if I was happy," Callie said.
She had seen practically seen the wheels turning in Arizona's head so she decided to supply the information instead of waiting for her to mull over the decision to ask. She was used to Arizona's sense of propriety by now and knew that she would not want to ask for information if it might be too private. Someday she would make Arizona realize that every time she looked at her she had the urge to spill out the entire contents of her mind. She had very little control over her verboseness as it was but there was something about Arizona that just incited trust.
"What did you say," Arizona asked.
Callie smiled in anticipation. She might be revealing a little more than she really wished to but she was willing to take the chance... on Arizona.
"I told him that you made me happier than anyone else ever had."
Arizona's short gasp was barely audible as she took in the statement. It was an answer she did not expect but it was certainly welcome. A soft smile played at the corners of her mouth.
"Good, that was what I was going for," she said simply.
With one shared smile and the knowledge that they were walking this path together, they strolled out of sight and into the coming sunrise with a balance that neither had ever received from another person in their lives.