BLAAAAAA BLA BLAAAAAA
I haven't updated in quite a long time, maybe because I felt like I had nothing left to say about what I'm going to talk about, but it's the same old shit so I feel like I'm repeating myself..............I know people get busy in fact I'm probably the worst offender and I probably wouldn't care so damn much if it wasn't my bestfriend, but now that the snow has fallen I really can't afford to care. Most of the time I just want to go home and sleep, by-passing even the computer and it's both a good and a bad thing. I actually
feel healthier when I'm at home and refreshed and showered and whatever by 5 as opposed to beating my brains out on here like it seems I usually do. I guess I'm hurt because it appears that nothings changed in the way where I want to make plans far ahead of time and I know shit changes, but I want things planned for a week and meanwhile, because she has a kid now, it often feels more hopeless of us seeing eachother that often, which I don't mind the way used to....I mind more if we actually made concrete plans. I text at ther start of a weekend saying I'm off....maybe I should have been more clear about when I'd want something to go down.. hell MAYBE I should just call her. I feel like a dink... WTF is stopping me from picking up the phone and fucking calling her and saying :"Can we like.. PLAN something...so neither of us have to feel like we're revolving ourselves around the others schedule?!?!?!?"
I'm just frustrated. I wish that it didn't have to be so complicated... kids make things that way, which is fine. She's happy. I am happy she's happy... what I don't get is why she thinks that she can text me at the end of the weekend and ask me if I have Monday off when it was obvious I had the weekend off. She doesn't read old texts.... sometimes I wonder if she reads any of the texts that I send. What would the point of getting a phone when I'd probably text her more often than anyone and she wouldn't have the time to answering because she's busy. I get the being off facebook too.... lotta drama, but again.... WHY can't she be punctual.. or anything resembling the person I know that cares, regardless of the kids thing... this goes beyond the kid thing.
feel healthier when I'm at home and refreshed and showered and whatever by 5 as opposed to beating my brains out on here like it seems I usually do. I guess I'm hurt because it appears that nothings changed in the way where I want to make plans far ahead of time and I know shit changes, but I want things planned for a week and meanwhile, because she has a kid now, it often feels more hopeless of us seeing eachother that often, which I don't mind the way used to....I mind more if we actually made concrete plans. I text at ther start of a weekend saying I'm off....maybe I should have been more clear about when I'd want something to go down.. hell MAYBE I should just call her. I feel like a dink... WTF is stopping me from picking up the phone and fucking calling her and saying :"Can we like.. PLAN something...so neither of us have to feel like we're revolving ourselves around the others schedule?!?!?!?"
I'm just frustrated. I wish that it didn't have to be so complicated... kids make things that way, which is fine. She's happy. I am happy she's happy... what I don't get is why she thinks that she can text me at the end of the weekend and ask me if I have Monday off when it was obvious I had the weekend off. She doesn't read old texts.... sometimes I wonder if she reads any of the texts that I send. What would the point of getting a phone when I'd probably text her more often than anyone and she wouldn't have the time to answering because she's busy. I get the being off facebook too.... lotta drama, but again.... WHY can't she be punctual.. or anything resembling the person I know that cares, regardless of the kids thing... this goes beyond the kid thing.