A tale titled, Gabby
Wow 142 weeks since last update. Well here I am to bleed my heart out again in hopes it helps me to get over this pain. After Renee it took me awhile but I found another gal that I grew quite fond of.
Earlier this year I met Gabby thru a friend in WoW. She was fun to talk to and eventually we were spending hours on the phone together. She'd tell me how she hated the guy she was with, which incidently is also the 1st real BF she's had and been with him from age 15-18. I'd comfort her and tell her just to stopping listening to his BS that things will be different and never do, and just follow her heart. Then in May I flew down to Cali to meet both of them and stay with for a few days. It was akward him always ignoring her and her just doing her own thing. Last few days of our stay Gabby and I just...really connected and when I went home there was a sense of loss in me..and her too.
She finally ended it with him those last few days I was there and moved back to her parents house in SoCal. He tries to blame me for telling her to leave but that wasn't true at all. He took it bad and continued to read through her email account. He'd send nasty and hurtful txt msgs, emails, IM's, then had friends of his do the same. Month later she flew up to spend some more time with me in Oregon and we had a blast. So much she decided to stay around and live with me. We'd go for walks to the park, car drives, hikes in the mountains, motorcycle rides to the beach, and just hang out. My family accepted her right away with open arms. We even went to my brothers wedding where she caught the bouquet and I caught the belt. It was bliss and almost meant to be. I fell hard for her, and love her. 2.5 months she was up here, short I know but when it happens you can't control it. A week before she technically flew home she got a job at Best Buy and was excited and loving it.
But something changed. She started to eat less and less and skip dinners. She finally confided in me above other people first, that she thinks her anorexia disease is back. She's already pretty skinny but mentally she won't allow herself to be big again like she was when was a kid. We told her family, and a few friends and we started going to a support group up here together. It was helping but not fast enough evidently for her parents. Her mom knows a friend of a friend that is a therapist that thinks could help her, so Gabby arranged to fly back to SoCal to see the therapist and live with her mom again. The few days of her time here, she became very different. Didn't want to sleep in the same room anymore, didn't want to share affection. Her last night in Oregon she even arranged to stay at a friends house. She told me she wanted it this way to break the emotional connections while she's down in SoCal for a bit and it's not so hard to concentrate on getting better. I respected her wishes and didn't push the issue. She left half of her clothes and stuff so I believed her when she said she was coming back.
She flew down, and a month goes by with normal conversations between us. Therapist was helping, and she found more support groups down there. Even found a Yoga class nearby to attend and meditate. The oppurtunity came up to come visit for a weekend and she wanted me to come. 5 days before the flight she IM's me that she's out of town and probably won't be back in time to see me. She wouldn't say where or why, and then quickly logged off. Over the next few days she returns 0 emails, IM's, txt's or phone calls. A day before the flight I find out through her family a few days earlier she ran away to be back with her exBF. Ran away from the therapist, the support groups, her family, yoga class, me...everything to be back with the guy that has emotionally damaged her and tortured her for awhile. The relationship that was dead for over 6months while still being in it. I flew down anyways since nearby my dad was there and my uncle, and returned the rest of her things from my place. Met her family, which were very nice and cool people. She still wouldn't say a word to me wherever she is living now with the exBF, even if to just say it was over between us. Later that night I started getting txt's from her BF telling me to fuck off, and I got what was coming to me. He said she was the one that called him while in Oregon and wanted to get back together and the whole trip back to SoCal was planned to get back to him. She never wants to talk to me again and just go away.
It's hard to know what's true and what isn't. It's like a puzzle that doesn't fit together. So many unanswered questions I have, but she maintains the silence from only me so I have no answers.
If it was all planned long ago, why leave your stuff? Why get a job? Why pretend nothing is wrong for so long? Why even invite me down to visit and waste my time if you were already back with your exBF? Why can't you just tell me it's over and give me closure? Why won't you say a word to me? Why this enormous mind fuck game you're playing? What did I do to make you so unhappy or hate me so much to act like this? I supported you in every way and made sure your needs were above mine. I went to the group meetings, even when you were in Cali. I helped you try to settle in with getting an ID and finishing your GED.
Why would you even go back to that dickhead schmuck of a guy and the way he treated you when in the relationship and after your breakup, against everyones advice. Did you not learn from Stephy and Dave? Big amounts of stress or not, he's not your answer to your problems. You can't go back to him just because you think he's a safe bet and wont encourage you to do anything. Your problems will be there until you face them like an adult. You're exactly back where you started a few months before you met me. I hope you realize this sooner then later. You've let your mind and this disease cloud the voice of your heart.
It pains me to be ignored like this and not even the respect of being told it was over. It pains me even more you're throwing yourself back into a worse spot then you were before. I understand he's a safety net for you having dated for a few years, but don't throw your life away wasting it on him. Maybe someday you can call me a friend again and speak to me. I do miss those long talks we had. GL to ya in your life journey wherever it leads you.
Love ya lots my Gabriella, rawrrrrrr.
Earlier this year I met Gabby thru a friend in WoW. She was fun to talk to and eventually we were spending hours on the phone together. She'd tell me how she hated the guy she was with, which incidently is also the 1st real BF she's had and been with him from age 15-18. I'd comfort her and tell her just to stopping listening to his BS that things will be different and never do, and just follow her heart. Then in May I flew down to Cali to meet both of them and stay with for a few days. It was akward him always ignoring her and her just doing her own thing. Last few days of our stay Gabby and I just...really connected and when I went home there was a sense of loss in me..and her too.
She finally ended it with him those last few days I was there and moved back to her parents house in SoCal. He tries to blame me for telling her to leave but that wasn't true at all. He took it bad and continued to read through her email account. He'd send nasty and hurtful txt msgs, emails, IM's, then had friends of his do the same. Month later she flew up to spend some more time with me in Oregon and we had a blast. So much she decided to stay around and live with me. We'd go for walks to the park, car drives, hikes in the mountains, motorcycle rides to the beach, and just hang out. My family accepted her right away with open arms. We even went to my brothers wedding where she caught the bouquet and I caught the belt. It was bliss and almost meant to be. I fell hard for her, and love her. 2.5 months she was up here, short I know but when it happens you can't control it. A week before she technically flew home she got a job at Best Buy and was excited and loving it.
But something changed. She started to eat less and less and skip dinners. She finally confided in me above other people first, that she thinks her anorexia disease is back. She's already pretty skinny but mentally she won't allow herself to be big again like she was when was a kid. We told her family, and a few friends and we started going to a support group up here together. It was helping but not fast enough evidently for her parents. Her mom knows a friend of a friend that is a therapist that thinks could help her, so Gabby arranged to fly back to SoCal to see the therapist and live with her mom again. The few days of her time here, she became very different. Didn't want to sleep in the same room anymore, didn't want to share affection. Her last night in Oregon she even arranged to stay at a friends house. She told me she wanted it this way to break the emotional connections while she's down in SoCal for a bit and it's not so hard to concentrate on getting better. I respected her wishes and didn't push the issue. She left half of her clothes and stuff so I believed her when she said she was coming back.
She flew down, and a month goes by with normal conversations between us. Therapist was helping, and she found more support groups down there. Even found a Yoga class nearby to attend and meditate. The oppurtunity came up to come visit for a weekend and she wanted me to come. 5 days before the flight she IM's me that she's out of town and probably won't be back in time to see me. She wouldn't say where or why, and then quickly logged off. Over the next few days she returns 0 emails, IM's, txt's or phone calls. A day before the flight I find out through her family a few days earlier she ran away to be back with her exBF. Ran away from the therapist, the support groups, her family, yoga class, me...everything to be back with the guy that has emotionally damaged her and tortured her for awhile. The relationship that was dead for over 6months while still being in it. I flew down anyways since nearby my dad was there and my uncle, and returned the rest of her things from my place. Met her family, which were very nice and cool people. She still wouldn't say a word to me wherever she is living now with the exBF, even if to just say it was over between us. Later that night I started getting txt's from her BF telling me to fuck off, and I got what was coming to me. He said she was the one that called him while in Oregon and wanted to get back together and the whole trip back to SoCal was planned to get back to him. She never wants to talk to me again and just go away.
It's hard to know what's true and what isn't. It's like a puzzle that doesn't fit together. So many unanswered questions I have, but she maintains the silence from only me so I have no answers.
If it was all planned long ago, why leave your stuff? Why get a job? Why pretend nothing is wrong for so long? Why even invite me down to visit and waste my time if you were already back with your exBF? Why can't you just tell me it's over and give me closure? Why won't you say a word to me? Why this enormous mind fuck game you're playing? What did I do to make you so unhappy or hate me so much to act like this? I supported you in every way and made sure your needs were above mine. I went to the group meetings, even when you were in Cali. I helped you try to settle in with getting an ID and finishing your GED.
Why would you even go back to that dickhead schmuck of a guy and the way he treated you when in the relationship and after your breakup, against everyones advice. Did you not learn from Stephy and Dave? Big amounts of stress or not, he's not your answer to your problems. You can't go back to him just because you think he's a safe bet and wont encourage you to do anything. Your problems will be there until you face them like an adult. You're exactly back where you started a few months before you met me. I hope you realize this sooner then later. You've let your mind and this disease cloud the voice of your heart.
It pains me to be ignored like this and not even the respect of being told it was over. It pains me even more you're throwing yourself back into a worse spot then you were before. I understand he's a safety net for you having dated for a few years, but don't throw your life away wasting it on him. Maybe someday you can call me a friend again and speak to me. I do miss those long talks we had. GL to ya in your life journey wherever it leads you.
Love ya lots my Gabriella, rawrrrrrr.