R.I.P Rip Van Winkle...I will forever love you.
March 11, 2005...why...
I got home yesterday as per usual after stopping by Tatiana's and Annabella's house with Tj to drop off a birthday card and a present to Tatiana. We stay a little while-then headed back. Tatiana and Gabby came with us- I dropped TJ off and went home.
I didn't expect such a horrible thing when I got home.
My brother told me something bad happened. I didn't know what- he then told me that the bunny died. Rip Wan Winkle. She was killed by the neighbors dog. I didn't believe it. So I went outside and looked around the yard...I kept looking at her cage- I saw something there but tried to look elsewhere. UNtil I went up to it and saw Rip Van Winkle laying cold and still in her cage. Shocked, I screamed "What the fuck?!"...it's all I could say. I started to cry- and took her out and held her. I couldn't stop crying as I held her close- bawling and coughing. I couldn't put her down- my dad came out and told me to knock it off...but I think he understood after I started crying out about how she was alive this morning...how I played with her dismorning...he told me after I calmed down...to talk to the people whose dog killed her. The lady said she would pay for another rabbit. It's still not the same. My dad told me he called the animal control on her dog earlier before I got home-how he could have pressed charges but didn't because she said she would get another rabbit. It's still not the same. I went over to the house with Tatiana...I couldn't keep a straight face...all I could do was try and stop crying thinking about how painful it must have been for her. And how much I wished I was with her...how I could have saved her. Just that morning I remember asking Catherine how old she was...feeding her a carrot before going to work and Rip Van Winkle just scrunching her nose at me when I pressed the carrot in her face playfully. When I got to that person's house...Tatiana rang the door...no one would answer right away- then finally...the children did. Babbling about how their dog didn't kill her...how there was no one home. All I wanted to do was tell that person where she could get another- and that I would rather be the one to pick a bunny out. I stayed away- but I saw adults. two of them. One on the couch- the other walking around. They just wouldn't answer. Immaturity. Of course I didn't know who they were- and then that dog came out. It touched me. And all my pain and sorrow made me weep again. I told it to get away from me-and how I was going to tell me dad because I knew people were there. Why Couldn't they talk to me? Was it because I was crying? And they couldn't take seeing someone cry over an animal that they cared for? Ruthlessly murdered by someones fucking dog in my own back yard?? Rip Van Winkle didn't deserve that. I went home and told my dad. He left...to talk to them I suppose. I called TJ...I told him what happened. Cried on the phone...that's all I could do. I know my dad told me that he was going to shoot those dogs if they ever came into our yard again. He doesn't even have a gun that could fire anything. He came back- told me they tried to start shit. They answered the door for him- but not me. Not the grief stricken person. Why? Afraid? Some people may say she was just a rabbit. And to tell you the truth I didn't think I would be so effected by her passing. But unlike any rabbit I ever had...how I never cried so much for anything-even my poor Harlequin who I miss dearly as well...I just can't believe she is gone. She had something to her that made her almost human in some aspects. Most rabbits i've had just were carelessly free. She had something that kept her up. Like a nobleness. She liked people. Even though she didn't seem to show it. She was paitent. Even with Gabby, as hard as that is to think about. I digress...anyway- later on that night the deputy sheriff showed up...they called the police on my dad. I went down stairs to talk...I told him what I thought. How they wouldn't talk to ME when I went to see them. how I didn't know SHE wasn't there. They can't blame my dad. My dad was upset because I was upset and because deep down he liked Rip Van Winkle too. He just called her Bunny though...those people can't say shit. They can't say anything because their fucking dog is still alive and poor RIp Van Winkle is in the ground. I buried her in the dark for a while- until my brother brought me a light. She was in an old shoe box. I had to take her out and say goodbye to her. I cradled her...and started to cry again and told her how sorry I was that I wasn't there. That I couldn't save her. I kissed her head like I used to. Three times before I put her back. I was shaking and crying when I covered her up. I couldn't stop. I still can't. I try to think of good things but all it does is make me sad. How she used to grunt and stomp her feet...and dig into your shirt if you didn't pet her. How she would stare at you when you called her name- and how she would nuzzle you when you held her close. I miss her puffy lips I used to poke...and that fuzzy fat fluff she had around her neck. I tried to close her eyes when I cradled her. I didn't want her to see even though she couldn't. I am crying now typing this...I just can't stop because I miss her so much and wish I could hold her close. I never thought I would feel so terrible. But thought of her getting mauled to death while screaming her heart out keeps me awake and makes me wish more I was here.
I was told this morning that the children next door were outside. They told my sister that they were sorry that their dog ate our rabbit. I wish I was there so they could see me cry and hurt.
We got new bunnies today...they are cute. But they aren't Rip Van Winkle. No one can replace Rip Van Winkle.
R.I.P. Rip Van Winkle...Bummy. I love you always. I am still sorry I couldn't save you. I'm so very sorry, Bummy.
I hope God watches over you. That is the only thing that makes me feel slightly better...when I believe you are in a better place with God. The one who loves all his evolved creations...not just humans like the so many facist christians would want you to believe.
I got home yesterday as per usual after stopping by Tatiana's and Annabella's house with Tj to drop off a birthday card and a present to Tatiana. We stay a little while-then headed back. Tatiana and Gabby came with us- I dropped TJ off and went home.
I didn't expect such a horrible thing when I got home.
My brother told me something bad happened. I didn't know what- he then told me that the bunny died. Rip Wan Winkle. She was killed by the neighbors dog. I didn't believe it. So I went outside and looked around the yard...I kept looking at her cage- I saw something there but tried to look elsewhere. UNtil I went up to it and saw Rip Van Winkle laying cold and still in her cage. Shocked, I screamed "What the fuck?!"...it's all I could say. I started to cry- and took her out and held her. I couldn't stop crying as I held her close- bawling and coughing. I couldn't put her down- my dad came out and told me to knock it off...but I think he understood after I started crying out about how she was alive this morning...how I played with her dismorning...he told me after I calmed down...to talk to the people whose dog killed her. The lady said she would pay for another rabbit. It's still not the same. My dad told me he called the animal control on her dog earlier before I got home-how he could have pressed charges but didn't because she said she would get another rabbit. It's still not the same. I went over to the house with Tatiana...I couldn't keep a straight face...all I could do was try and stop crying thinking about how painful it must have been for her. And how much I wished I was with her...how I could have saved her. Just that morning I remember asking Catherine how old she was...feeding her a carrot before going to work and Rip Van Winkle just scrunching her nose at me when I pressed the carrot in her face playfully. When I got to that person's house...Tatiana rang the door...no one would answer right away- then finally...the children did. Babbling about how their dog didn't kill her...how there was no one home. All I wanted to do was tell that person where she could get another- and that I would rather be the one to pick a bunny out. I stayed away- but I saw adults. two of them. One on the couch- the other walking around. They just wouldn't answer. Immaturity. Of course I didn't know who they were- and then that dog came out. It touched me. And all my pain and sorrow made me weep again. I told it to get away from me-and how I was going to tell me dad because I knew people were there. Why Couldn't they talk to me? Was it because I was crying? And they couldn't take seeing someone cry over an animal that they cared for? Ruthlessly murdered by someones fucking dog in my own back yard?? Rip Van Winkle didn't deserve that. I went home and told my dad. He left...to talk to them I suppose. I called TJ...I told him what happened. Cried on the phone...that's all I could do. I know my dad told me that he was going to shoot those dogs if they ever came into our yard again. He doesn't even have a gun that could fire anything. He came back- told me they tried to start shit. They answered the door for him- but not me. Not the grief stricken person. Why? Afraid? Some people may say she was just a rabbit. And to tell you the truth I didn't think I would be so effected by her passing. But unlike any rabbit I ever had...how I never cried so much for anything-even my poor Harlequin who I miss dearly as well...I just can't believe she is gone. She had something to her that made her almost human in some aspects. Most rabbits i've had just were carelessly free. She had something that kept her up. Like a nobleness. She liked people. Even though she didn't seem to show it. She was paitent. Even with Gabby, as hard as that is to think about. I digress...anyway- later on that night the deputy sheriff showed up...they called the police on my dad. I went down stairs to talk...I told him what I thought. How they wouldn't talk to ME when I went to see them. how I didn't know SHE wasn't there. They can't blame my dad. My dad was upset because I was upset and because deep down he liked Rip Van Winkle too. He just called her Bunny though...those people can't say shit. They can't say anything because their fucking dog is still alive and poor RIp Van Winkle is in the ground. I buried her in the dark for a while- until my brother brought me a light. She was in an old shoe box. I had to take her out and say goodbye to her. I cradled her...and started to cry again and told her how sorry I was that I wasn't there. That I couldn't save her. I kissed her head like I used to. Three times before I put her back. I was shaking and crying when I covered her up. I couldn't stop. I still can't. I try to think of good things but all it does is make me sad. How she used to grunt and stomp her feet...and dig into your shirt if you didn't pet her. How she would stare at you when you called her name- and how she would nuzzle you when you held her close. I miss her puffy lips I used to poke...and that fuzzy fat fluff she had around her neck. I tried to close her eyes when I cradled her. I didn't want her to see even though she couldn't. I am crying now typing this...I just can't stop because I miss her so much and wish I could hold her close. I never thought I would feel so terrible. But thought of her getting mauled to death while screaming her heart out keeps me awake and makes me wish more I was here.
I was told this morning that the children next door were outside. They told my sister that they were sorry that their dog ate our rabbit. I wish I was there so they could see me cry and hurt.
We got new bunnies today...they are cute. But they aren't Rip Van Winkle. No one can replace Rip Van Winkle.
R.I.P. Rip Van Winkle...Bummy. I love you always. I am still sorry I couldn't save you. I'm so very sorry, Bummy.
I hope God watches over you. That is the only thing that makes me feel slightly better...when I believe you are in a better place with God. The one who loves all his evolved creations...not just humans like the so many facist christians would want you to believe.